Wednesday, January 08, 2014

Ball Sweat



I have a nose that can detect smells that many people--especially men--cannot smell.  This has been helpful in many cases--smelling the decaying mouse in the trap and the rotting potatoes in the bin--as well as embarrassing--calling to have our 'gas leak' taken care of when I was really smelling the turkey carcass in the garbage bag.  One thing I haven't been able to smell, for the most part, is bad odors in the gym we go to.  This must be due to their keeping the place very clean AND a good air-replacement system.  But things aren't always smelling like roses, however...

One day I was putting in my time on the treadmill when a man decided to use the machine next to me.  Everything was going fine until I started smelling something.  Now I couldn't tell what this nauseating smell was at first, but slowly I realized it was ball sweat*!  And it was coming from the guy next to me!  And he was going nowhere any time soon!  I looked at my time and saw that I only had two more minutes on the machine and decided I could put up with the smell for that long--but they were two of the longest minutes I have ever endured.  I still don't know how I managed to keep myself from audibly gagging.  Now whenever I see this guy in the gym, I make sure I'm nowhere in his vicinity--I don't need to get sick to my stomach in the name of fitness!

There is another guy at the gym who reeks of cigarette smoke.  I'm not sure if HE is the smoker or lives with one, but whenever I see him, I 'see' a cloud of yellow smoke enveloping him.  He is one of the nicest people I have ever met and he LOVES to talk hockey with me, so I am bombarded by this odor whenever he and I are at the gym together.  It would be nice if I could keep enough distance between us so that I couldn't smell him, but then we would have to use megaphones to communicate and that's not going to work.

For the most part, I have never noticed a lot of smells when I am participating in a class at the gym.  There are times when I will smell a woman's perfume for a second, but even with the amount of people surrounding me, there is little odor present.  Except for that one day...

K came to class with me and things were going well until I could smell another obnoxious odor:  ass crack**.  This was mixed with plain old BO.  That day I came very close to upchucking and had to WILL myself to finish the class without being physically sick.  And, of course, K didn't smell a thing.  The biggest problem is this:  I have NO IDEA what person was emitting said odors, so I can't even avoid him/her whenever I go to class!

Such horrendous first-world problems we have.  ;)


*Someone asked me HOW did I know it was ball sweat I was smelling.  My answer?  If you've smelled it once in your life, you NEVER forget it.

**Ditto the last answer.  :D


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