Saturday, March 05, 2011

Penis Envy

(Now that title should get this blog some hits!  :D)

This isn't about penis envy in the way that Freud meant it.  This post is all about how convenient 'penii'* are when it comes to peeing.  How many women really never envied men for being able to pee standing up?  I think the entire process is so much more simple and easy for men than it is for women, so in that aspect, I have penis envy.  And, it seems as if a lot of women are like me.

GoGirl is a product that has been designed to allow women to pee while standing up.  Wow.   It is supposed to be for women who camp--not me--women who travel to third world countries--not me--women who spend a great deal of time outdoors--not me.  I would think of using this product when in some of the public bathrooms I have used, but I am very choosy about where I go, so it isn't that much of an issue for me.  I just can imagine how other restroom patrons would react to a pair of feet standing TOWARDS the toilet in the stall and not away from it, as is the usual practice.  (Let's face it, we do spend WAY too much time glancing under the stall doors when we go into a restroom.)  I wonder if security would be called because someone thought a transvestite was in the women's?  I could see using this in an airplane bathroom--or what I think an airplane bathroom is like.  All of the times I have flown--not THAT much, actually--I have never used a bathroom on a plane.  I just can't make myself do it.

The number one (no pun intended) time I would want to use this device is when I have to give a sample in the doctor's office.  After all of these years--and two pregnancies--I have not mastered the technique of how to pee in a bottle without showering my hand, wrist, and lower arm with pee.  I just can't do it.  The biggest problem, though, is the sample has to be sterile and I don't think the GoGirl can be sterilized.  Bummer.

While this isn't a TERRIBLE idea, I don't know how much usage I would get out of it.  I AM a klutsy person, so I would probably wind up having to change my clothes after using this thing way too often.  For the time being, I think I will pass.  What about you?

*I know that isn't the proper plural of 'penis,' I just like the word better than 'penises.'  :D


meleah rebeccah said...

Ahahahah! AHHAHAHhHAH! OMG. I love this product. I think the GoGirl would come in handy while I'm out on the golf course!

cmk said...

I'm REALLY close to ordering one. I just don't know that I would ever use it...

ordinaryjanet said...

I wonder how easy it is to carry in one's purse? and after you use it, you'd rinse it off (if you were in a restroom, or for campers, by a water source, have to dry it with paper towels or let it air out. I think it might be too much trouble. Imagine if your purse was searched by an authority-especially in an airport!

If you're wearing pants, you'd still have to pull 'em down, anyway. The only time I think I'd use it is if I desperately had to pee and was standing in the middle of poison ivy. Yeah, guys are lucky.

cmk said...

When surfing the site, it seems as if there is a 'proper' way to roll and store this gadget so that you can take it and reuse. I thought of the airport-security thing, too. :D (Can you imagine the stuff they see when searching bags?)

I guess if you practice enough you are supposed to be able to use this thing without removing any clothing. I wouldn't even think of trying: I'd have to bring that many more changes of clothes with me so that I could have dry, non-pee soaked things to wear. I can't imagine being able to use this with my pants down, much less without removing them completely.

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