Sleeping Beauty

There are some women who, when they sleep, could be auditioning for the part of Sleeping Beauty--they look completely serene and beautiful.  I am NOT one of those women.

I sleep on my stomach--always have, even when I was pregnant.  This means that my face is mashed into a pillow all night long.  And I don't mean in a good way--the pillow scrunches my face into ways that defy all logic.  One side of my face is squashed downward, while the other side goes up.  I don't know how, but this is the way it is.  I also have been told that I snore--all night--loudly.  Again, I don't know how one snores without sleeping on one's back, but I guess I have the talent.  And for TMI, I drool.  Which is even worse whenever I wear my retainers.  Sexy!  Really, I don't know how K manages to not run out of the house whenever he looks at me sleeping--but then again, maybe he DOESN'T look at me.  While I don't remember my dreams, I do know that I wake myself up at times, whimpering in my sleep because of what I'm dreaming.  All in all, I'm not going to win any Sleeping Beauty contest.

All of this is the reason I have to be up and out of bed at least 2 hours before I leave the house.  It takes that long for my face to fall back into place and for all of the puffiness to disappear.  When I sleep I get major 'bedhead' and my hair has to be completely wet-down to rid it of the look.  The lines that I get on my face while sleeping rival an 85-year-old woman's wrinkles--thankfully they disappear within two hours.  I wish I was one of those women who could roll out of bed and leave the house in less than a half hour, but it ain't gonna happen.  I want to blame age on this, but I haven't been a 'beautiful sleeper' since I turned one, so that isn't the problem.  Sleeping Beauty was lucky.  {sigh}