Saturday, June 23, 2007

And Finally...

Here is the last installment in 'Things To Do When You're Bored.' If you can't get any inspiration from these lists, then you are a hopeless case! :)

-Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English

-Write to your congressmen, senators, President, etc. to tell them what a good job they're doing...On April 1st

-Take apart all your major kitchen appliances...mix and match them

-Turn your TV picture tube upside down

-Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy

-Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets

-Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks

-Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck

-Make a deal with the devil...but keep your fingers crossed

-Put instant concrete in your big brother's waterbed

-Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese

-Debate politics with a fern

-If you lose, stop watering it and try again.

-Increase your territorial holdings by force

-Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat

-Boldly go where no man has gone before

-Be a threat to the American way of life

-Do research into the cause of World War III

-Be a threat to the Northwestern Tibetan way of life

-Re-establish the Roman Empire...in Pittsburgh

-See how small you can scrunch your face

-Sell firewood door to door...in Atlantis

-Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization)

-Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation

-Raise professional certified racing turnips

-Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation

-Lead an aerobics class...for patients of the I.C.U.

-Go to a drive-in movie in a tank

-Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway

-Found a cockroach stable and stud ranch

-Send your goldfish to obedience school

-Free the oppressed toasters of America

-Weave a tablecloth out of copper tubing

-Park your car...with a friend

-Park your car...with a group of friends

-Frame your first statement of bankruptcy

-Place it on the wall of your office

-Solve the population problem (x^2 + y^2 = population...solve for x)

-Contribute to the population problem

-Wear a T-shirt that says "I'll walk on you to see The Who" and a peace sign

-Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your least favorite neighbor

-Find out who made the super glue commercials and give them your Ginsu knife

-Get Ronco and K-tel to merge...they sell the same stuff anyway

-Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night

-Play with anything that looks interesting

-Drop piston engines on two people and see who squishes first

-See if your goldfish can live in Coors rather than water

-Try to ignite water...the Mississippi might work

-Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up

-State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes")

-Visit the Architecture building...loudly criticize its design

-Make a schematic drawing...of a rock

-Wallpaper your laundry room...with pages from books you don't like

-See if diamonds really do cut glass...on everything in your neighbor's house

-Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while

-Bronze your sister's turtle

-See how long it takes for her to notice

-See what she does when she notices

-Bronze your sister

3 comments:

Burg said...

I think I'll try the goldfish in Coor's idea.

LZ Blogger said...

No.2 "Write to your congressmen, senators, President, etc. to tell them what a good job they're doing...On April 1st Really has a lot of merit... I just can't wait until April 1st!

cmk said...

I liked the 'solve the population problem...' but then, I AM a math geek! :)