Year One...

I have begun my weekend of self pity a little bit early. At first, I thought this was only going to happen on Sunday, but things change...

On Sunday, The Husband and I would have celebrated our 46th wedding anniversary. We would have been making plans to go out and eat and I would have been anticipating what piece of jewelry he would have bought for me this year. Mostly, our anniversary celebrations were very quiet...just the two of us going out to eat. We had never had a party, even for the 'milestone' anniversaries. I always anticipated the possibility of having a big blow-out for our 50th, but that is not going to happen.

I will now spend our anniversary by myself, thinking of what was and what never will be. I will indulge in junk food eating and way too many sweets. I will feel very sorry for myself and continuously ask, "Why me?" I will cry. And I will feel totally justified in my feelings.

On Monday, I will resume my life and get back to the 'new normal.' This is the first year without The Husband and it will be the hardest. I'm thinking that every year from now on will be just a little easier than the year before...at least, I hope so.

Thank Goodness For Trust...

The other day, K and I had this conversation:

K:  So-and-so--you remember him, he retired last year--and his wife just got a divorce.
Me:  Really!?!?!?
K:  Yeah.  They were married all those years and divorced after he retired.
Me:  Maybe she couldn't handle his being around all of the time.  {said with a smile}
K:  Rumor has it that there was more going on.  She supposedly started running around on him.
Me:  Well, I think it probably wouldn't be considered a mid-life crisis--she would have needed to do that 15, 20 years ago.
K:  What would possess someone to start that after so many years?
Me:  Well, how does he KNOW that she JUST started running around?  If he worked shifts, it would have been very easy for her to be meeting someone while he was on night shift, for example.
K:  That is true...

Tonight, at 11:00, the phone rang.  I was in the bathroom WITHOUT a phone.  I didn't get to the phone in time to answer it.  Caller ID told me that it was K, who is on night shift.  Thank goodness we trust each other completely.  Otherwise I might be doing some 'splaining in the morning.  :D