And This Will Pass...

The Husband is sick.  I don't know if I ever feel more helpless than when a loved one of mine is sick.  I never know what to do unless the person is undeniably sick or injured and HAS to be seen by a doctor.  Everything that is going on with him points to some sort of influenza or stomach/'flu'...he has the chills, nausea, a bit of a cough, fever.  Most of the time I wouldn't think twice about letting him 'ride it out,' but with his underlying kidney disease, I don't know if we are supposed to aggressively treat any illness.  Of all of the questions we have asked his health 'team,' we never asked about 'normal' illnesses and what he should do if he came down with one.  We will call his doctor's office in the morning and get through this mini crisis...and when we meet with his nephrologist next week, you can be sure we will be asking many questions.

A Different Take on Politics

Once again we have an election coming up.  And if I didn't know it, all I have to do is ride around town and see all of the political signs.  Most of the time, I don't pay much attention to them and don't necessarily 'see' whose name is on the sign.  However, I noticed one name lately and that is because I 'know' him on a personal basis...

When my girls were in school, I did quite a bit of volunteering in the school system.  One year when my youngest was in elementary school, I was called upon by the 'room mothers' several times to supervise/chaperon events.  I didn't really get along with these women--one in particular--because they were SO. DAMN. PEPPY!  Every single time I saw them, they were almost giddy with happiness.  They were cheerleaders about everything.  I think I could have coughed and spit a snot ball the size of a Tootsie Roll in their faces and they would have found something positive to say to me.  BUT, it would have come out as a bit condescending, because I wasn't quite on their social level.  I think we all have known people like this in our lives.

Anyway, one of these room mothers really rubbed me the wrong way:  She had the perfect life, the perfect child, the perfect home, the perfect wardrobe, the perfect side job, the perfect husband, the perfect perfect, etc, etc, etc.   And she was just so happy all of the time--and everything was great all of the time.  And I really couldn't stand being around her.  I don't do peppy people.  But one day, I realized there just might be a reason for all of her peppiness.

I don't quite remember what holiday or special day we were celebrating in the classroom.  I had done whatever it was I had been told to do...probably passing out juice or cookies or something.  I remember going to get some napkins from the other side of the room and happened to stumble upon the peppy mom and her husband standing, hidden from view, in the corner.  While I didn't hear what was going on, I SAW what was going on:  He was berating her in such a manner that I actually felt sorry for the woman.  He had such a bullying look on his face and she was almost cowering over the 'attack.'  Because they had placed themselves away from everyone else, I knew they wanted privacy so I moved on and pretended not to see anything.*  I always imagined that her peppiness was a cover up for an, at least partially, unhappy life.  This was something that I can never forget.

So, imagine my surprise when this same man shows up on campaign posters, asking for my vote on November 4.  Just proves that we have no idea who any of these people are that we are asked to vote for.  I wonder if I want to have a possible abuser represent me even at a local level.  Quite a dilemma.


*I'm sure some people would say that I did a disservice to the woman by not intervening.  I don't how to respond to this.  I REALLY don't know how to respond to this.

Let Me Tell You What You Should Do

I am very proud to say that I raised two very conscientious daughters.  However, this allows them to be taken advantage of in far too many ways...

The Oldest has seven kids.  She is very active in many things and they attend quite a few pot lucks.  Having seven kids causes her to worry that people won't/don't want her family to attend these events because they are afraid there won't be enough food for everyone.  (As far as I know, this is all in her head.)  And so she compensates.  One day she listed the food she had already made for the pot luck they were having at their church:  a casserole, two salads, deviled eggs, and two different desserts.  She had three more things that she was going to make and wanted to know if that would be enough!  I got a bit angry with her and made it clear that she didn't have to provide food for the ENTIRE CHURCH.  I honestly felt as if what she had already made was far more than she needed to do and the rest was just a bit of overkill.

The workplace is where The Youngest gets taken advantage of.  Within the last two weeks she gave me two great examples.  One evening--the clinic closes at 7:30 PM--she called me after 8:30+ as she was driving home.  She got left at work when everyone else went home because she couldn't stand the thought of leaving the towels unwashed, wet, and not put away until the following day.  She was the only one to think about the laundry and the need for it to get done.  And so she stayed and finished up what needed doing.  A few days later they had quite a terrible snowstorm and the clinic was so dead that the owner/vet went home after noon--and most of the rest of the employees had never even gotten to work to begin with.  The Youngest was left to man the phones and take care of anything that came up, as she was the only one who knew how to do everyone else's job and could be trusted to do what needed to be done.  And so she stayed until quitting time.

While I am happy to have daughters that are reliable, I also wish they would stand up for themselves at different times.  And there is the dilemma:  WHEN do you voice a complaint and when do you stay silent?  I am able to rein The Oldest in a bit--she is starting to realize that she has the tendency to go overboard at times.  However, I wouldn't want her to go too far in the opposite direction and have people run screaming whenever they see her family showing up.  ;)  The Youngest has to be careful because her job could possibly be in jeopardy if she says the wrong thing.  She has co-workers that she has to deal with on a daily basis, so it is harder for her to voice frustration.

If my girls ask for advice--and, at times, when they don't--I try to do my best and steer them in the right direction.  This time I really don't have an idea what to say to them and I will have to trust that they know how to handle their own lives.  And this is often the hardest part of being a mother...

Don't Ask and I Certainly Won't Tell

K had to go to the grocery store before work today and he came home--as he does, at times--with a couple of lottery tickets.  As he was leaving for work, he told me to scratch the tickets, but "If you win, don't tell anyone. At least until we have the money in our hands."  I DID have to chuckle--as IF we would ever win enough to HAVE to keep it a secret, but, we can dream.  ;)

K and I aren't what you would call 'gamblers.'  He will get in the football pool at work and buys lottery tickets on a semi-regular basis.  We have been to Las Vegas once and a couple of times a year we will go to an Indian casino and 'donate' some money to the Native Americans.  ;)  As we don't go out to bars, etc, and spend money that way, the money we spend at the casino is for a form of entertainment--and cheaper than some other forms, actually.  If you can curb your spending, sitting in a casino isn't really all that expensive.  And who knows, you just MAY win some money.

Every so often, we will go off on a flight of fantasy and discuss what we would do if we won a lot of money.  First thing, I would NOT want a lot of people to know about my winning big--I just don't need that kind of attention.  K has a definite number in mind that he would need in order to quit work and if he won that amount, he would only go back long enough to sign his retirement papers.  Neither one of us has a lot of material things we would want to buy.  A new (modest) house and a couple of new vehicles and we would be pretty set.  Really, $1 million would be more than enough for us to elevate our life style!  (And $1 million doesn't buy nearly as much today as it once did.  ;))

Of course, if we ever won A LOT of money, then we would have some decisions to make.  We would need to decide who would benefit from our winnings, besides us.  We would want to 'do' for our kids and their families, naturally.  And several charities would benefit, as well.  But after that, just who do you 'help?'  I have always been family-oriented, but being estranged from my parents and brother would keep me from wanting to 'spread the wealth.'  We probably would help out my parents and K would want to do something for his oldest sister, at least, but beyond that, we would have to think long and hard about who else.

One question that has come up when talking the 'winning' scenario with friends is "HOW would you help your kids?"  I would be too afraid to give enough money for my kids to never have to worry or work again, but I definitely would want to ease their burdens.  I would like to set up a trust fund--or whatever it would be called--that would pay their bills and allow them to live a comfortable life, but not give them enough to become lazy and entitled.  I would want them to HAVE to continue working, if for nothing more than all of the 'extras' they would want to have.

So, have you ever done the 'what if' game?  How would you spend your money?

What Do YOU Do?

Once again, someone on Facebook put a rumor as their status update.  This one is about Facebook beginning to charge a fee for anyone who wants to continue using it, etc, etc, etc.  This rumor has been going around for quite a few years and is completely false.  (However, that being said, it wouldn't surprise me one bit if it became a pay-for-use site in the future.  Just my opinion.)  Every couple of weeks or so, one of my 'friends' will post something like this--something that is 100% false and can be proved as such by taking a quick trip to snopes.com for verification.  This type of activity used to be done by email and I would get them in my inbox regularly.  I would then point the one who sent the rumor to the proper site on the internet and let them know they were spreading false rumors. I don't get very many of those emails anymore--I think I got my message across.  With email, I was able to keep my 'chastisement' as a private affair--and the only people subjected to these rumors were the ones who got emails from the sender.  However, Facebook is much more public and I would hesitate to embarrass someone by telling them they were wrong in front of the whole world.  I realize I could just send a private message, but I don't want to embarrass anyone, even privately.

So, the questions come:  What do YOU do in a situation such as this?  Do you correct the person or wait to see if someone else does it first?  Does it matter if the person is close to you or merely an acquaintance?  I wouldn't hesitate to take one of my kids 'to the woodshed,' because they both know enough to check these things out first.  However, if a 'friend' that I have never even seen or talked to in real life does this, I don't have the nerve to correct them.  I KNOW that several people (those who sent emails in the past) have felt as if I was trying to prove my 'superior' intelligence or trying to belittle them in some way--which is/was NEVER my intent!  I don't know how to broach this subject without having it seem as if I think the other person isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer.  Suggestions?

The End of Blogging?

When I look back on my life, I seem to have cycles of 5-10 years where I am gung-ho about something and then my interest wanes.  Right now, my interest in blogging is getting smaller by the day--and it seems to be that way across the blogosphere.  Along with Facebook, it seems as if people I follow are less and less inclined to do many posts or status updates.  The only thing that is going strong right now is Twitter and some of the Red Wing blogs.  (I am one of the 3,967,542 Wing fans with a blog and I am seriously thinking about closing up shop.  With so many people talking about the same thing, I have next to nothing new or interesting to add to the conversation.)  I think blogging and Facebook have reached their peak and are on the downslide.  And, to a great extent, it makes me sad.  I very much enjoy the people I have gotten to 'know' online and really am interested in what is going on with them.  I would hate to lose touch with a lot of the 'imaginary, fake' friends I have come to know.  Through the years, I have lost several regular readers and often wonder what has happened to them.  And when you don't know real names, it is impossible to contact them.

I haven't decided to close this blog--I will continue on.  I'm still not sure whether I will just blog when the spirit moves me or if I will force myself to post more frequently.  Forcing myself might bring the fire back, but it also may make me hate this whole thing.  The whole thing is a dilemma that I have to work through.  Hopefully it will work out quickly.  :)

(And watch, starting tomorrow the thoughts will start pouring out of me like diarrhea and I will post multiple times per day for the next six years.  That's just the way things seem to happen, at times.  :D)