Being Bored

I don't really have a reason to be bored--hell, besides everything I HAVE to do, I have enough FUN things to do to keep boredom away! But, my life is in one of those ruts right now, so I thought I would share some things you can do when you are bored. (This will take several days to complete.)

Things To Do When You're Bored

(I didn't write this, but it has always given me a good laugh. The more slap happy you are, the better.)

-Wax the ceiling

-Rearrange political campaign signs

-Sharpen your teeth

-Play Houdini with one of your siblings

-Braid your dog's hair

-Clean and polish your belly button

-Water your dog...see if he grows

-Wash a tree

-Knight yourself

-Name your child Edsel

-Scare Stephen King

-Give your cat a mohawk

-Purr

-Mow your carpet

-Play Pat Boone records backwards

-Vacuum your lawn

-Whine

-Rake your carpet

-Re-elect Richard Nixon

-Critique "Three's Company"

-Listen to a painting

-Play with matches

-Buff your cat

-Race ferrets

-Paint your house...Day-Glo Orange

-Have a formal dinner at White Castle

-Read Homer in the original Greek

-Change your mind

-Change it back

-Learn Greek

-Watch the sun...see if it moves

-Stand on your head

-Stand on someone else's head

-Build a pyramid

-Spit shine your Nikes

-See how long you can stay awake

-See how long you can sleep

-Paint your teeth

-Wear a salad

-Speak with a forked tongue

-Get your dog braces

-Shave a shrub

-Have a proton fight

-Watch a car rust

-Quiver

-Rotate your carpet

-Learn to type...with your toes

-Set up your Christmas tree in April

-Buy the Brooklyn Bridge

-Be someone special

-Go back to square one

-Factor your social security number

-Take the fifth

-Memorize a series of random numbers

-Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages

-Join the Foreign Legion

-Learn Sanskrit

-Exist...existentially, of course

-Print counterfeit Confederate money

-Kick a cabbage

-Sandpaper a mushroom

-Take a picture

-Put it back

-Play solitaire...for cash

-Abuse your patio furniture

-Run for Pope

-Count to a million...fast

-Make a schematic drawing...of a rock

-Commit seppuku...with a paper knife

-Revert

-Think shallow thoughts

-Sleep on a bed of nails

-Boil ice cream

-DON'T toss and turn

-Run around in squares

-Think of quadruple entendres

-Speak in acronyms

-Have your pillow X-rayed

-Drink straight shots...of water

-Calmly have a nervous breakdown

-Give your goldfish a perm

-Fly a brick

-Play tag...on 35W

-Exorcise a ghost

-Exercise a ghost

-Be blue

-Be red

-But don't be orange

-Paint stripes on a lake