Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Today's News

As my life is very dull right now, I will just do another edition of Today's News!

--A man serving a life sentence for strangling his wife to death is asking for the state of Massachusetts to pay for his sex change operation. A psychiatrist claims that "she" will kill "herself" if the surgery doesn't happen. You can read the rest of the story here.

--I got real tired of Desperate Housewives--and the actresses who played them-- after one year of watching. I think Eva Longoria's 15 minutes is up. Here is a story--again--that shows just what an ungrateful little witch she is. I guess the more you get, the more you think you deserve.

--And Microsoft is starting to do comedy routines! On Tuesday, they actually said they were "confident" that Vista will be ready for its targeted launch date in January! This is after they have delayed the launch only, what, a dozen times already? For a good laugh, the story is here.

Hope YOUR day is exciting.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

How Fast Is YOUR Brain?

How fast does your brain process information? There is an online test you can take to determine the answer. This test takes about 10 minutes and you can compare your results (using charts) to others in your age range. Very interesting. Go here for the test.

By the way, I'm WAY above average for my age! My number was around 30 ms. (Considering it is an AUDITORY test--and I have a congentital hearing loss--I guess I am doing pretty well! OR the test is greatly flawed. :))

Today's News

--Dutch pedophiles have launched a political party to push for a cut in the legal age for consensual sex from 16 to 12. They also want to legalize child pornography and sex with animals. If you want to read more about these idiotic nutjobs, the entire story is here.

--Mariah Carey has insured her legs for $1 billion after being signed up for Gillette's Legs of a Goddess campaign. It's nice to see she has her ego totally in check, isn't it? The rest of the story is here.

--And the site has posted a picture of what Brangelina's baby might look like. There is a link to the AOL Moviefone blog where there are more "what the child (and her non-existent brother) might look like" pictures. Not REALLY worth the time it took me to type this.

Monday, May 29, 2006


I have always been a night owl--even as a child. I remember NEVER wanting to go to bed because The Mother would have someone visiting and I didn't want to miss whatever they were talking about--they always had the BEST gossip. So, I would force myself to stay up just so I could learn the latest dirt. And I happened to be one of those freaky people who really didn't have to study much in grade/middle/high school in order to get good grades, so it really didn't matter if I was half asleep in class. (We won't talk about my college career, though!)

This wanting to be up all hours is equal parts habit and genetics, I believe. If I really WANT to, I can get to bed at a reasonable hour, but most of the time I don't want. I can get "regular" for a time, but I find myself drifting back into my old ways in just a few short weeks. This is part of the reason I went to the sleep lab and was tested: just to get me on a more normal sleep cycle. Things worked for awhile, but my sleep is now crazier than ever.

My sleep habits began getting really bad when we were going through the real awful times with our oldest. This was the first time I became estranged from The Family. The things they said to me were so awful that I couldn't erase them from my mind--actually, short of a lobotomy, NOTHING will ever make me forget the things they said! Like a tape recording, they kept playing over and over in my head and I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. NOW I know I should have had a little pretty colored pill to help me along, but in those days I figured I could just get through it all by myself! My way to get to sleep at night--and stop the voices (boy, that makes my sound psychotic, doesn't it?)--was to stay up so long that I would just fall into bed and immediately go into a deep sleep. This actually worked! Unfortunately, it also meant being awake at strange hours. AND it also meant that this would be my way of dealing with problems forever--or, at least till I decide to change. Yep, every time since--problems with the oldest, again, then the problems with the youngest, etc--I went back to "staying up till I'm exhausted just so I can get some sleep" way of living. Now, I think it has gotten into a very deep habit--one I am finding hard to break.

All of this is my looooong way of getting to the point of this post: I don't remember my dreams. I'm sure I have them, but I remember so few of them that it is as if I don't dream. So, the few times I ACTUALLY remember a dream, I find it quite fascinating. Last night--okay, this morning--I had a dream. And here goes:

K and I were at a hotel. There were quite a few people--and I'm not sure, but we MIGHT have known them. Anyway, we checked in and got separated somehow. K went to our room--how I knew this isn't clear--and I found myself in a room with all these people. This was like a regular hotel room, only much bigger. And it was actually like a waiting room. Anyway, I kept trying to get to our room and couldn't find my way out of the "holding" area. I kept opening doors and asking people, but no one could help me find my way. I never got frustrated with anyone except for K--I kept trying to get hold of him, but, as usual, he didn't have his cellphone with him! Finally, he came to me and that was the end of the dream.

I KNOW that part of the dream has to do with my frustrations over him NEVER taking his cell with him! He always forgets it--even when I remind him to take it. It's not as if I call him often--or need to check up on him. I just like him to have it for the RARE times I need to get hold of him or need to know where he is! (He has a bad habit of leaving the house for short periods of time and not telling me where he is going--and it usually is to Menard's or some such place. Nothing sinister.) So that's the analysis of my rare dream.

So, anyone have a more ominous analysis of my dream? Could be interesting to hear other theories.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Memorial Day

Let us remember all of those who sacrificed so that we could be free.
Let us pray for those who continue to sacrifice for our freedom.
Let us give thanks and pray for all of the soldiers worldwide who are helping to ensure we stay free.
God Bless America!

Niagara Falls Pics

I figured it is about time to post a few more of the pictures I took when we were in Niagara Falls. I thought they were kind of neat.

This first pic is of the American Falls. The American Falls are higher than the Horseshoe (or Canadian) Falls at 184 feet high. The Horseshoe Falls are 177 feet high.

Also, you can see the observation platform way on the left side (it looks like a bridge that isn't completed)--this was built because the view of the falls on the American side isn't as spectacular as it is on the Canadian side. Of course, the city you see at the top is Niagara Falls, New York.

This next pic is of the Horseshoe Falls. I really don't know when the really good pictures that we all are familiar with are taken, because the entire time we were there, the mist was so thick that you really couldn't see the falls that well. Maybe you have to be in a certain place to get the really good shots.

Here is a shot of the Canadian skyline overlooking the falls. We stayed in the Embassy Suites, the building in the middle that is to the right of the Minolta Tower.

And finally, here is the Skylon Tower. It overlooks the falls and is 520 feet high--the tallest structure in Niagara Falls. You can take the elevator (the yellow car on the outside of the tower) up to the revolving restaurant or the observation deck. On a clear day, you can see for 80 miles from the observation deck.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

A Public Service Announcement


WATER...... It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli bacteria found in feces, in other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Doo Doo.

However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer or other liquors) because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.

WATER = Doo Doo

Free yourself of Doo Doo, drink WINE!

It is better to drink wine and talk Doo Doo than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information, I am doing it as a public service.

Have a nice day...

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Fun, Fun, Fun

I believe I am just about back to myself after the last couple of weeks getting ready for the party. I don't do this stuff anymore--we lead a very quiet life and all the hubbub does take a toll. Now, I'm not saying I don't enjoy having the people around and all of the prep work for the party--it's just that it is something I am not used to. I got tired! We are just about all out of "party food, " so I will have to start cooking again in the next few days. Life will be back to usual.

K is off of work till the first of June. He had scheduled the 21st through the 24th as vacation days when we thought A was getting married on the 20th and just never cancelled. I love my husband very much, but I really think I am going to put us into deep debt just so he will NEVER be able to retire! He drives me absolutely crazy when he doesn't have to go to work! I guess it wouldn't be so bad if he had a hobby, but most of those have gone by the wayside. He has always loved to be out in the yard, gardening or doing yardwork. Well, several years ago when he was working much overtime, I hired someone to come in and do the mowing, etc. He continues to do the yardwork so that K can do the gardening in his spare time. However, since the flood in 2003, K hasn't really gotten his mindset back into gardening--last year he planted tomatoes and the animals ate every last one of them--and he didn't really care! His plan was to get the gardens planted during this time off and he still hasn't made a move to do it. I wish I knew what to do to motivate him. At least, he got one of the air conditioners put in today--this will be very nice when it gets into the 80s later this week! He still has a week off, so maybe he'll get some more things done around here.

For the next several weeks there will be nothing on TV that will hold much interest for me. Starting in June there will be some series that will start their new seasons, so I will have things to tape then. Right now I will be trying to catch up on some of the DVDs we have--the last Harry Potter movie and Narnia, etc. I bought the first two seasons of the series Wings last night, so I will have several hours of stuff to watch there. I will have to see what movies I can tape--this is always a good time of the year for me to catch up on the ones I missed. I like to have something on the TV when I am doing other things: cooking, baking, ironing, playing my Gameboy, etc. I do love to multi-task.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

It's Done

The party went very well on Saturday. We had a nice group of people--a little less than two dozen, I believe. And I didn't run out of food! A and her husband stayed at a local motel--yeah!--but spent quite a bit of time with us. It was nice to be able to visit, but next time we might actually be able to DO something with them. Too busy of a time, this time. The best part of the weekend? A took enough of her stuff out of our house to fill the van they were driving. It is sooooo nice to be able to actually see the floor in areas of the basement, again. I can't wait till they can get the rest of her stuff--I won't know what to do with all of the space I will have!

Sunday, May 21, 2006

To Help Start The Week

Colonoscopy humor: A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies.

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

Have a great week!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Crazy Busy

Just popping in for a short time today...I am just crazy busy here. And I will be through the weekend. We are having a small open house for A and her husband on Saturday and I am trying to get things done. So far, I have gotten the house cleaned--and believe me when I say it needed it. I kept expecting the health department inspectors to show up and condemn my house! (Needless to say, I am no longer Suzy Homemaker...the anal retentive nutcase I used to be!) Anyway, tonight, tomorrow, and Saturday will be all about the food prep...and I am soooooo afraid I haven't planned enough food to feed everyone! Every time I plan a "get-together," I worry about running out of food. I NEVER have, but there is always a first time. I am expecting no more than 30 people, so I hope I will have enough.

Anyway, I don't know if I will have time to post before next week, so I will leave you with this--hope you get a little chuckle out of it!

Material Things

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.

As he got out, a truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver’s door. Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus, his lights flashing.

But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. “I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are,” he said. “You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life.”

“How can you say such a thing?” asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, “Don’t you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!”

“Oh, my God!” screamed the lawyer. “My Rolex!”

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

I'm Still Crying...

Recently I saw "my boy" again. He is not doing any better than he was a year ago. I ask for your indulgence as I re-run a post I did last year. I'm still crying...

He wasn't quite 5 years old and I was still a newlywed when we first met. I fell in love immediately--his white-blonde hair, big blue eyes, and impossibly low voice were too much to resist. He just stared at me for the longest time, trying to figure out if I was worthy of his attention. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he held out his hand to me and said, "You want some candy?" When I accepted a jaw breaker, we became fast friends.

He was the sweetest boy God ever put on this earth. He always called me "Auntie," even though there wasn't any blood between us. Every time he saw me, he held his arms out and gave me a hug. I felt joy when I was around him--his smile was genuine and his sense of humor was wonderful.

I was there through his school days. I saw him graduate and I was there the day of his wedding. After getting to know his wife, I realized she was worthy of his love. I gave them my blessings. I was with them for the births of their children and the start of their business. They were there for K. and myself when we had our problems with C.--they offered help with no sense of judging us, just with pure love. Through the years we have gone lengths of time without seeing each other, but it was always as if we never parted whenever we were together again. He was "my boy."

And, now, "my boy" is a cocaine addict. He started out snorting, moved on to smoking, and is now injecting. He is slowly killing himself and there is nothing that can be done. He has lost his wife and children. He has lost his business. He is about to lose his life. And I can't do a thing for him. He has been through rehab several times and each time he goes back to the cocaine. He has to want to be clean for himself, or it won't work. I pray for him constantly and hope God intervenes before it is too late.

And I cry.

New Math??

(Hope you get a chuckle out of this--I did!)

Math 1950-2006 (new version)

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.

Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:

1. Teaching Math In 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1970: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 1990: A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living?

Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.)

6. Teaching Math In 2006: Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day!

For all who read this blog--and are mothers--I hope you have a great day today.

Mother's Day is one of those holidays which has been rather hard for me over the years. Way too many years I have not been on good terms with my mother--this year is no exception. So, while I give her gifts and cards, I don't make a point of calling her to see how her day is going. No big deal--at least I acknowledge the day.

For far too many years, things haven't been good with one or the other of my girls, either. (Boy, I can't get along with ANYONE, can I?) This is the first year, in a long, long, time, where all is well. Today I can actually be happy that the day will be acknowledged by, at least one, of my kids. So far, C sent me an e-card and she said the "hard copy" cards will be here tomorrow or Tuesday. But that is expected from her--she is late for EVERYTHING! I haven't heard from A yet, but I expect she will call later.

K has never let a Mother's Day go by without getting me a card or a gift. This year was no exception. I actually thought he wasn't going to acknowledge the day, but he did--with a beautiful pair of earrings! Every day I realize what a great guy he is--I guess I'll keep him around for awhile longer!

So, to say it again:


Saturday, May 13, 2006

I Must Be Getting Better

So, here I sit eating popcorn and drinking Coke Zero--instead of downing shots of tequila. I surely MUST be getting better. Here's what happened:

This afternoon/evening, K and I had to head up north for his ex-brother-in-law's wake. His death was unexpected, but he went the way he wanted: quickly and painlessly. Anyway, we got up there and had to stop at a friend's greenhouse to pick up a mother's day gift for The Mother, then we went to C's to drop off her birthday gift and headed for The Parent's house. They weren't home, so we went to the funeral home. It wasn't a real somber affair, so we got to visit with people we haven't seen in years--actually some classmates of ours that we hadn't seen since graduation: a long, looooooong time ago! So, as far as wakes go, we had a (relatively) good time. Of course, The Parent's weren't home yet when we left the funeral home, so we went to K's sister's house, where everyone was going to go after the wake. We all ate--too much--and visited for awhile. One of the niece's lives in Phoenix, so it was nice to be able to catch up with her--don't get to see her nearly often enough. We had to bug out of there a bit early, as K has to work in the AM, so we made our way back to The Parent's.

When we got there they had company, but it was someone I have known my entire life, so there was no problem there. (Although, I think the woman is a bit cold to me--after all, it is my fault for what has happened. I'm not sure WHAT has happened, I just know it is my fault!) It was kind of a casual visit--not much conversation about anything too substantial. And it would have been okay if it would have been left like that, but noooooooo, The Mother just can't let well enough alone.

First of all, I now know what she is pissed about. (I have known she is pissed because I haven't heard from her since before the wedding--over six weeks ago.) We started talking about the party/reception that C is putting on for A in July, and The Mother told me--flat out--that I WILL be helping out with the party, because SHE is. Now, don't get me wrong, I AM going to do for the party. I already said I would buy the cake and I will make some food for it--I just am not in charge and don't feel as if I have to do a whole lot of work, considering it isn't my affair. I am having a party for A and her hubby in a week--I don't think I have to break my back when it comes to someone else's party! And I just want to sit and relax and enjoy the whole thing, not be stuck in the kitchen with the setting up, cleaning up, etc, and not even be appreciated or acknowledged for my effort! A and her husband would be grateful, but the rest of the bunch would act as if it was to be expected of me--and that I did nothing special. I know, cause it has happened many times before! K and I were going to have that be a weekend of enjoyment--our friends were going to be there and we were going to stay at the same hotel and visit and go to our old stomping grounds, etc--after all, we will all be back "home" together! Of course The Mother has to screw with my plans whenever she can. And this isn't even what got to me tonight!

The topper of the evening--and we were at their house 30-45 minutes, tops--was when she looked at me as if she didn't quite recognize my face. You know what I am talking about, when someone does a double-take, as if they don't believe what they are seeing. This happened just before we got ready to leave. Anyway, she looked at me as if there was something wrong and said, "Don't you wear contacts? Why aren't you wearing them?" Now, you have to understand, I WORE contacts almost 30 years ago, for about a year off-and-on. That is it--no more than that. And MY MOTHER acted as if she never saw me wearing glasses before tonight. I KNOW this is a little thing, but this is just a great illustration of what this woman is like--and why I wonder, many times, why I am not residing in that purple, padded room at the local hospital. And now you know why I must be getting better: because I AM NOT drinking shots of tequila as I sit here!

Friday, May 12, 2006

Not The Sharpest Knife In The Drawer

From Popbitch:

On a fashion shoot in a derelict house, Kate Moss wanted to take a pee.

The assistant told her: "Well, there is a loo, but there's no door on it".

Kate replied: "Well how the f*** do I get in there then?"

An embarrassed silence ensued...

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Worst Songs Revisited

I will now finish up the worst songs. I thought long and hard about it and finally came up with some I wish to nominate--but, first, some from my readers:

RT nominates "American Pie." I agree with what he said: I think we ALL know all of the words to the song--and not necessarily because we want to!

Yoopergirl chooses "Don't Worry, Be Happy." She also nominates "You Light Up My Life" and "Loving You." Don't worry about having "You Light Up My Life" as one of your wedding songs, yooper, the theme to my wedding was "We've Only Just Begun"--you know, the Carpenters!

LZ Blogger has a hate going for "Purple People Eater." Were there EVER any novelty songs that were any good? I couldn't abide "My Ding-a-ling!"

Doug: I guess "You Light Up My Life" might not have been as bad if it wasn't overplayed! I hated "Sound of Silence" for years after the radio stations wore out every copy ever made! (I believe I did read about Debby Boone afterward--and yes, it is nice to hear that some people have moral convictions they abide by.)

Red is not happy with "Mmm Bop." I agree it is one of those songs--along with most of these--that gets stuck in your head and you just want to use an ice pick to perform a lobotomy on yourself! Unfortunately, even that probably wouldn't wipe some of these out of your mind!

Now for a few of my nominations:

"Ben" by Michael Jackson has to be one of the stupidest songs. Excuse me! A love song to a rat?! I guess he has ALWAYS been strange.

"Ebony & Ivory" by Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder. "Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony/Side by side on my piano keyboard, Oh Lord, why don't we?" Enough said.

And finally, I have to nominate just about every song Paul McCartney has ever done without John Lennon. I guess their greatness was in their togetherness--at least Sir Paul's was!

And that--probably--concludes the worst songs! But then, you never know. After all, there are new songs coming out every day.

Snow, Birds In The Attic, and a Fun, Icky Fact

A few little items today:

We are under a severe weather watch for tonight into tomorrow--high winds, cold, rain turning to wet, heavy snow. Now, what was that they are talking about? Global warming?

Instead of bats in the belfry, we have birds in the attic--or, at least, in the eaves. I can see what kind of a summer this is going to be: first raccoons, now birds. Yippee!

Now for the fun, but icky, fact: A ten-year-old mattress weighs twice as much as it did when it was new. This is from all of the accumulated dust, debris, sweat, dirt, skin, dust mites, and all other nasties that make their way into the innards. And now I defy you to have a great night's sleep without thinking about this once! (Aren't I sassy!?) :)

Sunday, May 07, 2006

A Mother's Love

Well, I sure can rest easy now, cause mama raccoon came and moved her babes. It is nice to know we didn't screw up TOO much. I'm really not sure where she moved them to, but they are out of our house. The only problem now: are they all going to stick around forever? Just what I need, another family of animals who call my yard home! Animals sure are wonderful--even the ones you don't want in your house.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Critters and Creatures of All Sorts

For some reason or another, our house attracts all sorts of critters/pests. And I am talking about attracting them to come INSIDE of the house. This has been going on since we moved in and the list of things we have "boarded" just keeps getting longer. So far we have had: an infestation of carpenter ants, bats, mice, spiders, Japanese lady beetles, numerous wasp/hornet/ yellow jacket nests, birds (both alive and dead) in our chimneys, soffits, and attic--and I am sure there are others that I can't think of right now. We now have another species to add to the list--here's the story:

Last night around 6:30, I was getting ready to go out to do a short errand. While in the bathroom, I heard noises. Thinking they were coming from our neighbor's I investigated to see what they were doing. Turns out, I could hear the noises in the bathroom, sewing room, and pantry--coming from inside the wall. That is when I knew we had a new "tenant." Of course, K was on night shift, so I called him at work when I returned home. By this time, the noises had stopped, but I was not under the illusion that the critter had left my house. K said he would check on what was going on when he got home this morning and that is where it stayed all night. Considering the noises were so loud and consisted of scratching/gnawing sounds, I figured we had a chipmunk or squirrel inside the wall--K thought we had a bird.

We have a walk-out basement with stairs leading down from the outside. Over the stairs we have a shelf built for storage. Being the smart man that he is, K figured our creature was somewhere trapped in the stairwell, so he first went and looked into the door window to see what was there. Sure enough, when he shined the light onto the shelf, there were the two shiny black eyes of a raccoon looking back at him. Upon further investigation, he found out she was on her nest with her babies--all four of them. The noise I had heard was the raccoon trying to dig further into the house to get into the attic. Try as K might, she had no intention of leaving her comfy accommodations--except for trying the attic once more--until K pounded on the wall from in the attic. This caused mama to leave and we haven't seen her since. Of course, we left the door open all day so that she could rescue her babes, but it just didn't happen. It finally got so late--K had to go to work--that we couldn't wait for mama any longer. So the decision was made: the babes had to be dragged outside--with their nest--and hopefully mama will come back for them. I checked on them about an hour ago and she still hadn't returned.

I guess an argument could be made that we acted cruelly, but we didn't know what else to do. First, we couldn't just leave these critters in our house--the basement stairs lead directly into our living space. Second, we couldn't find any kind of wildlife rescue organization here in our area. And third, our local Humane Society is run by a bunch of wackos, so they were definitely out of the question. We figured we would let nature take its course--whether that means mama rescues her babes or another animal has a meal, so be it. Nature isn't always pretty.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Giving Birth

On 4 May 1978--28 years ago--I gave birth to my first child. My first child is having a crisis because she is "so old!" I just laughed when she said she will have a breakdown when she turns 30. I told her getting older is a whole lot better than the alternative--and, besides, as her mother, I really don't feel old enough to have a 28 year old daughter and 5 grandchildren. It is all in the way you look at things.

Twenty eight years and a few days ago, I really wasn't feeling too well. The pregnancy wasn't the easiest time I had in my life. I had borderline toxemia and was put on a no/low-salt diet. This had been going on for weeks and I was sick to death of only eating salt-free bread, fruit, fresh veggies, and peanut butter. There wasn't a snack food around that I could eat and don't even get me started about how much I missed fast food! And besides all that, I looked like I was smuggling an over-inflated beach ball under my shirt. And I was puffy from retaining water, too. None of that "pregnancy glow" that you see on other women. I was fat, bloated, had high blood pressure, was cranky and irritable, and still had three weeks before the "blessed event" was to take place. I felt as if I had been pregnant for the better part of three years and was not happy about it.

Sometime around the first of May, I had started to feel like I was experiencing contractions. Well, I asked other women about it, called my doctor's office, etc., and everyone told me it wasn't time. Okay, fine. I wasn't feeling too much like I was in labor and there wasn't any rhyme or reason to the pains, so I ignored how I was feeling. I kept getting these pains off and on for the next few days. On May 4, I had a morning appointment at the doctor's office and told the nurse what was going on. Her take on the whole thing? "Oh, well, you might be starting labor, but then you might not. We'll see you for your next appointment on Monday."

For the rest of the day I tried to relax and forget about the pains. I tried timing them and they weren't getting any closer and weren't getting regular. I figured it was just another one of those things they forgot to tell us about in birthing classes. After all, the way it was explained to us was this: you begin labor pains, they increasingly get stronger, your water breaks, you go to the hospital, you give birth. Simple. I sat around all day waiting for my water to break.

Around 6:00 PM, I finally got K up--he had been on midnight shift the night before and was still sleeping. I told him that I really felt lousy and he should call the hospital. When he explained to the nurse what was going on, she kind of dismissed it, but told us to come in and they would check me, but I probably would just have to turn around and go right back home. All this time I was getting stronger pains, but still didn't think I was in labor because my water hadn't broken. So, off we went to the hospital. Because we didn't think there was anything going on, we took the long route to get there--just sightseeing along the way.

Several times at home and in the car I felt an intense pressure making me feel as if I had to go to the bathroom. I also experienced the same in the vestibule of the hospital. Again, I didn't think anything of it. We finally got to the OB floor and the nurse took us into a room so I could be examined. They all took their sweet time getting me ready and they had the unit clerk come in to get my information, etc. Everything was very leisurely and calm. Then the nurse examined me. Her face went white. She yelled out to the first person who walked by the room, "Get the doctor here, STAT! She's dilated 10! She's about to deliver!"

Things started to get hectic. I don't remember much of what went on. I was in full labor, about to drop my kid, and I was told I couldn't do anything about it until the doctor got to the hospital. Oh, yay. They got me into a gown and to the delivery room. (This was back in the days before you had birthing suites.) I was put on the delivery table, strapped down, had an IV inserted, and had to wait until the doctor showed up. He barely walked into the room, gave me my epidural and held out his hands to catch my 5 pound little girl. From the moment I arrived at the hospital till I gave birth to C, 45 minutes had passed. I cut it a little close.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Today's Top Ten List

Top Ten Things Men Understand About Women











Just smile and send it on. :)

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Life Goes On

I can't believe it has been so many days since I actually posted, but life has been a bit hectic. Here's what has been going on:

On Sunday we had to go to Rhinelander to see K's sister , who took an early retirement staring last Friday. She said she didn't want a party and we said, "Who cares! PARTY TIME!!!!!" So the extended fam and some close friends descended on their house and we had food for days--and ate it all in a matter of a few hours! Needless to say, I felt like a tick full of a blood meal on our drive back home.

We got home in the early evening and I had to start getting us ready to go to Appleton for Monday and Tuesday. Of course, we didn't think past our a--holes or we could have just stayed at the sis's and left from there on Monday morning. K and I have gotten into the habit/routine/agreement of: he will do all the driving on our trips and I will do everything else. This means I get the house taken care of, the cat squared away, the packing done, the garbage done, call-forwarding set, etc., etc., etc. So this is another reason I sleep when we travel: I'm exhausted by the time we hit the dusty trail!

Our routine is pretty well set when we get to Appleton: eat breakfast, do some shopping, check-in at the hotel, more shopping, back to the hotel, go out to eat with J & S, go to the next eating establishment for dessert, back to the hotel to sleep, breakfast in the AM, finish shopping, head back home. Not what you would actually call a vacation, but it sure breaks up the daily routine at home. And K really needed the time away: he finally finished up the overtime work. He went over thirty days without a day off. Poor guy was tired.

I am in the beginning planning stages for the open-house we are giving A and the new hubby later this month. There won't be all that many people here, but in our relatively small place, it will seem like a lot. I also have the UP Finnish mentality about food: you NEVER run out of anything your guests might want, so you make (at the very least) twice as much food as you could possibly need. That said, I have to start getting food preparation done beginning yesterday! So much to do, so little time. But it will be fun.

While I am not prepared to talk about it--emotionally I am a wreck--the Red Wings lost their game last night and are out of the playoffs in the first round. The memorial service will be held at a later date. (In other words: the Red Wings are dead to me! And this will last all of about three days and I will start planning for next year--THE YEAR THEY WILL WIN IT ALL!! Lord Stanley's Cup will, once again, be with it's rightful owners: the Detroit Red Wings!)

I will wait till later in the week, hoping to get more comments on the worst songs of all time, and then I will list them in a regular post--along with some that drive me insane. Tell everyone you know to give suggestions and I will list them all then.