I'm Still Crying...

Recently I saw "my boy" again. He is not doing any better than he was a year ago. I ask for your indulgence as I re-run a post I did last year. I'm still crying...

He wasn't quite 5 years old and I was still a newlywed when we first met. I fell in love immediately--his white-blonde hair, big blue eyes, and impossibly low voice were too much to resist. He just stared at me for the longest time, trying to figure out if I was worthy of his attention. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he held out his hand to me and said, "You want some candy?" When I accepted a jaw breaker, we became fast friends.

He was the sweetest boy God ever put on this earth. He always called me "Auntie," even though there wasn't any blood between us. Every time he saw me, he held his arms out and gave me a hug. I felt joy when I was around him--his smile was genuine and his sense of humor was wonderful.

I was there through his school days. I saw him graduate and I was there the day of his wedding. After getting to know his wife, I realized she was worthy of his love. I gave them my blessings. I was with them for the births of their children and the start of their business. They were there for K. and myself when we had our problems with C.--they offered help with no sense of judging us, just with pure love. Through the years we have gone lengths of time without seeing each other, but it was always as if we never parted whenever we were together again. He was "my boy."

And, now, "my boy" is a cocaine addict. He started out snorting, moved on to smoking, and is now injecting. He is slowly killing himself and there is nothing that can be done. He has lost his wife and children. He has lost his business. He is about to lose his life. And I can't do a thing for him. He has been through rehab several times and each time he goes back to the cocaine. He has to want to be clean for himself, or it won't work. I pray for him constantly and hope God intervenes before it is too late.

And I cry.