Wires, Wires, And More Wires

Last night definitely was different, to say the least: I spent the night in a sleep lab. This all came to be because I told my doctor I think my thyroid is off again and asked for another med. He didn't like the idea of what I asked for, so he said my symptoms could also be caused by sleep-deprivation. (My get-up-and-go has got-up-and-went.) So, off to the sleep-lab. Well, this experience isn't as bad as a colonoscopy (goooooood drugs are given for a colonoscopy!) and not nearly as good as having a massage, but it was not a whole lot of fun.

First, I had to be at the hospital at 8:45 PM. The tech came and got us--there was another woman, too--and brought us to the lab. (And I could be given a million dollars and NOT be able to find my way there again!) Anyway, I was shown to my room and told to leave my things so that we could watch a film in the next room. So much fun that film was: lots of snoring and watching people sleep. Then the tech answered questions and my main one was: "How am I supposed to sleep? I sleep on my stomach!" Of course he answered, "No problem--you can still move around while hooked up." Yeah right!

Another tech brought me back to my room and I was told to "do what I do before going to bed" and then open the door to let him know when I am ready to go on. (I'm still wondering what he was referring to other than putting on my nightgown and brushing my teeth!?) When I was done, he came back and then the fun began.

I was put in a chair and the tech began taking measurements of my head. When he got the measurement he wanted, he used a pencil or something to mark the position--it wasn't just a felt-tip marker because it felt as if he was trying to CARVE the markings into my skull. When he was done with the measuring, he began to GLUE the patches to my skull. And he glued patches to my temples, my chin, and under my nose. There were 17 patches in all. Then he attached all of the electrode wires--it was like an electronic ponytail!

When that part of the prep was done, I had to lie down on the bed. There he strapped two different belts on me--one high on the chest and one low on the abdomen. EKG patches were then placed, a patch was placed on my throat, the oxygen monitor was put on my finger, and two straps were put on my heels. All of these had wires attached. In total, there were 29 different wires running from my body. Then he explained about the intercom--which was voice activated--and the camera and microphone which would be on all night. And he told me that if I needed anything just to talk in a normal voice and the tech who would be observing me the entire time would get what I needed. Then he said good night and have a pleasant sleep. RIIIIGHT!

All of the prep took about an hour, so the lights went off in the room a little after 11:00 PM. First of all, there was NO WAY I was going to be able to get completely comfortable in order to get to sleep. I laid on my side and drifted in and out for about an hour and realized I had to make a trip to the potty. Well, that was no walk in the park! The tech had to come and take off my foot straps, unplug the oxygen monitor, unplug the panel the electrodes were plugged into, and hang the panel around my neck so I could get out of bed and move around. Fun. If the bladder wouldn't have been screaming, I would have said , "Screw this." and tried to go back to sleep. Of course, when I was done he had to come back and hook me up again.

For the next 5 hours I actually slept a bit. I kept drifting in and out, but I guess I actually managed to get some deep sleep. Then a little after 5:00 AM the bladder needed attending to, so I had to be unattached, etc. again. When I got back into bed, I was sure I wouldn't sleep and was going to ask if I could go home, but I actually did drift off for about an hour when the tech came and woke me up to leave.

Taking all of the patches off took another 30 minutes--the ones that were glued on had to be removed with nail polish remover (okay, technically acetone, but it's the same difference) so it was a bit of a process. Now, I have sensitive skin, so everywhere there was glue or another adhesive there is a red mark--in some cases there is actual welts from the damn things! It is going to take several days for all of this to go away. And it will also take days for all of the glue to wash out of my hair--I don't care if it is "water soluble" as he said. So, then I put my clothes on and came home at 7:00 AM.

Next week I see my internist and he will have the results of this sleep-study, but the tech did tell my a few things. First, I don't have sleep apnea like you always hear about. I did snore very quietly and I had a few instances of my oxygen dropping, but nothing in the life-threatening area. I also exhibited a little bit of restless leg syndrome, but I think that was because of the position I had to sleep in. Anything he observed could probably be taken care of with a lose of excess weight--exactly what I thought before I went. So, this was a complete waste of time, in my opinion, but I guess I will wait to see what the doc has to say next week.