Living In A Small Town--Otherwise Known As 'The Police Log'

I've mentioned the we live in a small city--population somewhere in the 20,000-25,000 range.  This is the most populous city in the UP, but still, as far as most people are concerned, this is a small town.  For anyone familiar with my on-going 'police log' posts, you can tell just by the subject matter that we are nowhere close to big city-type problems here.  And as I've said before, I'm very okay with that.  However, the problems we DO have make for some amusing reading.  These are some police logs that I collected over the past few weeks:

--2:00 AM, Subject reported footprints leading to his front porch, along with missing white plastic chair;  footprints followed, no chair observed at suspected residence.
I'm certain this HAS to be a little old man with too much time on his hands.

--1:19 PM, Suspicious items found in woods;  nothing suspicious, small animal remains.
MORE people/person with too much time on their hands.

--4:12 PM, Men reported lying on ice and in a rubber boat;  OK, ice rescue training.
This completely perplexes me.  We have a Coast Guard station here and we ALWAYS witness rescue training.  Again, some people have too much time on their hands...

--8:07 PM, Complaint of drug use; no one would answer the door.
???

--10:44 PM, Deceased black and white cat placed into freezer at Department of Public Works.
I'm assuming they are waiting for it to be claimed by the owner/s?

--1:04 PM, Snow left on bike path from sled dog races.
Oooooookay!?!?

--3:42 PM, Suspicious subject behind the counter at a closed business;  all OK, worker installing countertops.
The joys of living in a small town where everyone pokes their noses into everyone's business.  ;)

And the best was saved for last:

--9:40 PM, Possible breaking and entering in progress;  noise heard was borrowed alarm clock.
Do I even NEED to comment?  :D