I'm Impressed

I don't normally endorse products on this site.  And I never have received compensation for anything I've posted about and now is no different.  However, I do have to tell about something that I'm pretty impressed with.

I don't know how many have heard of the Clarisonic line of products.  These are skin care electronic devices that are supposed to clean your skin better than you can do by 'just washing.'  (There are other products that help tighten the skin around the eyes, but they mainly do cleansers.)  The first time I heard of these, I was intrigued, but the cost just seemed far too high for something that was just going to cleanse my face, so I put the thought of purchasing one out of my mind.  Then they came out with the smaller, cheaper models.  (Although, the price was/is STILL very high.)  And one day I got an offer for a special price on one and I began to consider making a purchase.  So, I began my research and decided to buy one.  And I did in January.  I am impressed.

A while back, I did a post about the bad lighting in the hotels where we stay and mentioned the condition of my skin.  One of my biggest skin problems has always been blackheads on my nose--this despite the fact I never use makeup unless I leave the house.  I have tried every mask, cleanser, face brush/cloth I could find and yet I never have had luck in taking care of my problem.  The Clarisonic is the first thing I have used that actually helps my skin--and I feel as if it was money well-spent.

I won't try and say that my skin is as good as it could be.  The only way for it to be 'perfect'--or as perfect as I could get it--is to go to a professional aesthetician for regular facials.  Or I would need to spend big bucks for a dermatologist to do all of the chemical peels and whatnot to get me back to 'baby skin.'  I really am not willing to spend the money, so this is a good substitute.  The only 'problem' I have is that I have to use the machine almost every day or my skin goes back to 'normal.'  However, it only takes one minute to use, so it isn't like I need to spend a lot of time to improve my skin.

My point for this post is this:  If you ever have considered buying a Clarisonic, don't hesitate.  I am well pleased with the results that I get and, hopefully, you will be, too.  But, please buy from somewhere with a liberal return policy--I purchased mine from Ulta--in case it just doesn't suit you/your skin.

Was It Something I Said?

Our town is run by a city commission.  The commissioners are voted in to 3-year terms and can only serve 6 years in a row.  The commissioners, in turn, vote in a mayor, who can only serve one year at a time.  This works as well--or as poorly, take your pick--as any of the types of governing bodies we have here in the US.

One of our neighbors was a commissioner/mayor several years ago.  For the most part, our commissioners aren't voted in as party members, but it isn't hard to deduce which side of the fence they are on.  The Neighbor and I are polar opposites in almost everyone of our beliefs.  However, I don't know how HE knows this fact.

K is opposed to having signs, posters, decals, bumper stickers on ANYTHING we own.  I'm surprised he 'allows' me to have a Red Wings Skin-It on my cell phone.  ;)  While I DO have a few smaller Red Wing  Skin-Its on the Envoy, K would be just as happy if it was devoid of any personality whatsoever.  (Of course, I would have the entire Envoy covered, but that is another topic.)  We never have political signs in our yard.  We don't have bumper stickers of any kind.  We don't go to political rallies and never endorse, in any way, political candidates.  Yet, our neighbor knows that K is closer to his political views than I am.  And the only way he knows/thinks this about K is that K is a union member.  Frankly, even *I* am not sure how far left OR right K leans.  Politics is not something we discuss often.

As I said, our neighbor has some experience in the political arena.  He wants more.  A few years ago--after his time on the city commission--he tried to get elected to the State House.  I'm not sure he even got out of the primaries.  A few weeks ago, he came by the house with a petition so that he could become a candidate for the commission once again.  Nothing unusual about that, except for HOW he presents these petitions.  And this is the story:

The doorbell rang in the early evening.  This in itself is a very unusual occurrence, but seeing The Neighbor at the door was even more so.  We are neighbors and friendly, but we aren't what you would consider 'friends' with him and his wife.  I opened the door and he asked if K was home.  When K came to the kitchen, The Neighbor told him that he was going to run for City Commission again and asked if K would sign his petition so that he could get on the ballot.  K agreed and The Neighbor left.  Without asking me if *I* wanted to sign the petition.  This is the second time he has done the exact same thing, so I'm assuming he knows that I don't particularly like his politics.  But I don't understand HOW he knows this.  I find this very perplexing.

After The Neighbor left, I asked K if he thought there was any chance of the man getting on the commission again.  K said he didn't know, only that he would NEVER vote him.  I really had to chuckle over that one.  ;)

Police Log

Today we first start out with people who have too much time on their hands--otherwise, they wouldn't feel the need to bother the police with these calls.

--12:22 PM, possible domestic disturbance reported; no domestic, subjects jumping on mini trampoline.
How loud WERE these people?  Or did we just have a little old lady with nothing better to do than butt into her neighbor's business?

--12:35 AM, subjects on the football field; 40-year-old guy running laps on track.
The person who called this one in obviously didn't watch what was going on long enough before calling.  MYOB!  This is the advantage to living in a small town:  you CAN run the high school track at 12:30 AM and not have to worry about your safety.  And then the cops get called...

And then we have the 'just plain weird:'

--11:40 PM, report of person walking into home while resident not there and taking pictures with camera.
Just HOW did the resident find out about this if s/he wasn't home?  Was this someone 'casing the joint?'  And if so, why would the person do this at night and take pictures with a flash--which I assume is how someone knew pictures were being taken?

--9:15 AM, report of semi tractor-trailers speeding.
This made me giggle as I am imagining two 18-wheelers drag racing down the street--at 9:15 in the morning.  :D

--9:15 AM, two garden gnomes stolen from porch last night; male and female.
I LOVE the 'male and female' part.  :D

Police Log

Today we will find out that some people don't pay attention, I guess.  But, what ever the reason behind these calls, the people doing the calling are completely clueless.

--6:52 PM, request for well-being check on male in residence; not home, he is in jail.
I applaud whoever it is that worried about this guy's well-being, but just how worried is this person if s/he had no clue the guy was in jail?  Obviously there was some amount of time since the guy and his caretaker/friend/family member were in contact--and they probably aren't very close if he didn't use his one phone call to contact them.

--8:44 PM, runaway located; was not runaway, was with mother.
What?!?!?!?!  WHAT?!?!?!?!?!  Just WHO was the one who called about THIS one?  Unbelievable.

--11:01 AM, suspicious female in area; meter reader.
Are we in the middle ages where we can't even consider a woman is doing this job?  I can't believe this was called in.

And then we have THIS guy:

--7:50 PM, report of a possible stolen vehicle; owner not sure if vehicle stolen or friends playing a joke; vehicle located by owner where he had parked it last night.
HOW drunk did this guy have to be that he couldn't remember driving and parking his car the night before?  And why was he even driving in the first place??  Good grief!

Police Log

After a holiday weekend/road trip, I am finally able to settle down and write a post.  Actually, this will be a few posts, as I have collected enough police log entries to break them up into multiple posts.  Today, we will deal with animals.

--6:47 PM, report of a dead duck in the roadway; unable to locate.
It baffles me as to why someone would even report a dead duck in the road--or what is otherwise known as 'road kill.'  Nature takes care of the dead animals and the only time I feel they should be removed by humans is when the animal is very large--such as a moose or a deer.  As to being unable to locate said duck:  we have crows, ravens, turkey vultures, various critters that will eat dead stuff, etc. Problem solved and it probably was taken care of by Mother Nature herself.  Then again, the duck could have just been 'playing possum' and wasn't dead after all.  ;)

--8:38 PM, turkey in parking lot; captured and relocated.
This one had me floored.  While we have all sorts of wildlife wander into town, this is the first turkey I've heard of.  Wonder if someone will have wild bird for Thanksgiving this year?  :D

--11:32 AM, kitten at large.
I want to know more!  Is this the owner that called or did someone see a kitten and report it?  I'm so conflicted about this.  It can either be someone very concerned over a little furball or someone who needs to mind their own business.  And there always is the possibility that someone saw a furry animal in their yard and only THOUGHT it was a kitten when it very possibly was a squirrel or chipmunk.  SOME people DO need new glasses, you know.  :)

Zombie Apocalypse

Scandinavian model

(don't worry, the reference becomes apparent later on)

Many women hate to go into department/clothing store dressing rooms because of the extremely unflattering mirrors they have.  (Seriously, HOW can we possibly look as bad as those mirrors make it seem?  Wouldn't we all be arrested for crimes against humanity if the images were true?)  I hate the dressing rooms for one more reason:  the lighting.  I'm not sure what kind of lighting they have in those places, but it doesn't come anywhere close to being flattering.  BUT, I know of someplace where the lighting is even worse.

We did a road trip this weekend.  (We went to see 'Rain-a Tribute to the Beatles.'  FANTASTIC and a whole lot of fun.)  For a few years now, we have stayed at the same hotel when we go to Appleton, even through a change in ownership and hotel designation.  (It used to be part of a chain and promoted as a 'business hotel.'  While it still is advertised for business travelers, it now is a 'boutique hotel.'  I'm really not sure what a 'boutique hotel' is.  ;))  Anyway, the place is well-kept and reasonably priced, the rooms are large, there is free wi-fi, and the staff is friendly--AND it serves eggs for breakfast in the morning--so we keep going back.  My biggest complaint about the place is the bathroom lighting.  Oh, my.

First, I have never been blessed with a 'peaches and cream' complexion.  Despite being 100% Finn/Scandinavian, my skin has NEVER looked like the beauty queen/model/actress versions of Scandinavians that we have been fed all these years.  My skin is olive--probably from the Sami blood--and has never been great-looking since I was an infant.  Actually, the skin on my face looks exactly as my ancestors' skin looked: as if it saw too many harsh winters and had snow, ice, and wind assault it while caring for the reindeer herd.

I completely admit to not taking care of my skin as I should have over the years.  With me it has always seemed to be 'feast or famine' when it came to skin care.  There were times when I would put myself on a skin-care regimen and keep up with it diligently for months.  Then there were other times where I would just say "The hell with it." and do nothing more than wash it with soap and water.  Sadly, it never seemed to matter which cycle I was in, my skin never looked great.  I also will admit that I have done more damage to my skin than I should have.  Other than not taking care of it properly, I have tanned for most of my life, I have smoked, I have 'picked at it,' I haven't eaten the proper nutrition for healthy skin, and I neglected it far too often.

So, along with age, my years of abuse/neglect have left me with quite a myriad of problems.  And this isn't only the skin on my face.  From head to toe I have numerous varicose veins, broken capillaries, spider veins, age spots, scars, dark spots of no known origin, moles, along with dry patches--other than the psoriasis--red patches, and plain yucky looking areas.  Okay, so it sounds as if anyone would run every time they saw me walking down the street, but it isn't as bad as all that.  For the most part, most of my imperfections are mild enough that most people would never notice.  Also, I do a good job of covering up the worst of it with clothing.  And other than when I'm naked in the bathroom, I don't see most of the problems.  And I can live with it.  Until we go and stay at the hotel with bathroom lighting from hell.

I have not been able to figure out why the lighting in this place is so bad.  First, the room itself has such muted lighting that I'm sure the 'business' part in their advertising must have little or nothing to do with offices.  It is the exact kind of lighting that would be used in a romantic setting--something to make a person look better.  And it really hasn't been a problem for me, as the main reason for us to be there is to sleep, so I don't need exceptional lighting in the room.  Then you go into the bathroom and you have a whole different story.  The lighting is so bright in these bathrooms that you can actually see several layers INTO your skin!  I kid you not!  You can see veins under your skin's surface that aren't visible anywhere else.  And that isn't the whole story.

The first time I saw myself in this harsh lighting, I almost screamed.  It was horrifying.  As I said, you can see veins practically popping to the surface.  The pores in your skin are so large, it's as if you are looking at them through a magnifying glass.  You can see hairs you never knew existed.  Any blemish that you have is now visible--even the ones you never knew you had.  Even the lines--NOT wrinkles, but those, too--in your skin are magnified.  (This is where I found every one of the imperfections listed above.)  And to top it all off, for me, my coloring turns from 'olive' to a shade that is closer to 'yellowish-grey.'  I truly look like I am on the verge of becoming a member of the zombie apocalypse--as a zombie, not a victim.  Not surprisingly, I only look in the mirror when I am putting on my makeup--and even then I have been known to go into the bedroom to apply in less harsh light.

There is no solution to this problem.  And I will continue to scare myself a little bit whenever we are on road trips.  But things could be much, much worse, of course.  We COULD be on the verge of the zombie apocalypse.  :)

Curious

Dear anonymous young woman (I would call you a young lady, but you showed no indication that you know what a 'lady' is)--

What did you think you were going to accomplish when you leaned out of the car window and screamed at me "You're fat!"  Did you think I was going to collapse into a puddle of tears?  Did you think I would get angry?  Did you think the weight would just melt off of me if you brought it out into the open?  Do you REALLY think I don't know how much I weigh?  I have mirrors in my house and I DO use them.  You were telling me nothing more than what I say to myself each day.  So, honestly, you accomplished nothing other than showing how ignorant and disrespectful you are.

I don't know why people say such hateful things.  Without knowing a thing about the other person, they become judge and jury and find the target 'fat.'  For anyone thinking to judge an overweight person, think about this:

• You have no idea if the person has health issues that contribute to weight gain.
• You have no idea if the person is taking medications that cause weight gain.
• You have no idea if the person has a metabolic condition that makes it difficult to lose weight or keep it off.
• You have no idea if the person is physically unable to do exercise.

AND

• You have no idea if the person is celebrating because s/he just reached the goal of losing 50 pounds.

A lot of overweight people have self-esteem problems or depression and eat as a 'solution' to the way they are feeling.  Congratulations young woman, you just may cause someone to go on a very long, very destructive eating binge by your actions.  Thankfully, your words did not affect me in that way.

While I am overweight--by quite a lot--I don't know if I eat all that much more than you do.  Because of your age, I would think that I may even eat healthier than you--I just turn every bit of what I eat into fat.  There obviously is more going on with me than just overeating, but I haven't figured it out yet.  I certainly hope that you don't find yourself in my predicament 30+ years from now, because it isn't a fun place to be.

I'm sure your words had some affect on me, or I wouldn't be writing this.  I won't dwell on this incident and one way for me to 'put it behind me' is to write this out.  I know you will never see this, but I hope one day that someone can explain how wrong your actions were--and I hope you find out sooner rather than later.  I feel sorry for you because it seems as if you don't know any better.  You will have a difficult life if you don't learn.

Thank you for your time,

cmk

Say Hello to My Little Friend

Yes, I'm quoting a movie I have never seen.

The only air conditioning we have in our house are window units.  And we usually run three of those every summer.  I guess most people would wonder why we don't just put in central air, considering I rely on the a/c units so much, but we can't do that very easily in this house.  Our 'furnace' is a boiler and we heat with  hot water, so we have no hot air vents that are used by central air units.  To change our house over to ductwork, etc, is just too much of an undertaking, so we use window air.  And this isn't a very efficient way of cooling.

Our house is old--probably late 50s, early 60s era, so we still have proper rooms.  By that I mean, our house is NOT of the 'open' design that so many newer places are.  This poses a big problem when it comes to cooling, as air doesn't circulate very well through doorways--and the hottest room of the house is not one where we keep a cooling unit.  The kitchen has casement windows--the kind that open and close outward instead of by raising and lowering--so it isn't easy to find window units that fit.  Also, when you DO find an air conditioner for a casement window, you usually wind up losing the light from the entire pane--something that isn't true with 'normal' units.  The lack of air flow leaves us with a dilemma and the solution for us has always been fans.  We usually have one or two fans--along with air conditioners--running for most of the summer.  Such fun.  But they do the job.

My BIGGEST problem with regular fans is trying to keep the damn things clean!  Some fans have screens that can be taken off so that you can access the blades to clean, but most of them aren't that easy.  At least twice a season, I will take the fans (along with my tool box) and disassemble and clean them.  It usually takes me a couple of hours to do this.  And I hate it.  I have come close to throwing out the fans every fall and buying new ones every spring, but the ones we have are good, so I mess with trying to clean them.  And then along came the Dyson company.

This is the new Dyson 'fan.'  (It might be called an 'air circulator' or something equally as ridiculous.)  There are NO viewable fan blades, so they can't get grungy like a normal fan.  It is really quite cool--at least in appearance.  (No pun intended.  ;))  Unfortunately, as with ALL Dyson products, the cost is extremely high.  Luckily, Sam's Club came through with an 'e value' deal one day when we were there and the price of this fan was half off the normal cost, so we bought one.

So, what did all those dollars buy us?  The air circulation is different than with a conventional fan--it seems to be smoother, but not necessarily more forceful.  When run at high speed, it can be a bit noisy, but it seems to be more of a 'white' noise rather than the drone of a regular fan.  It is very easy to clean, very lightweight, and SAFE.  Without fan blades, I never have to worry about the cat getting too close or one of the grandkids sticking their fingers in it.  I'm pleased with the fan and I would buy another one if I got it at a good price, but I don't know if I'll be shopping for one any time soon.

Remembering a Friend

The Butchart Gardens--not one of Pete's designs (that I know of ;))

My last post was about my friend Pete and the fact that he was living his last days here on earth.  Five days later, he breathed his last.  I have been so incredibly saddened by all of this and came to the conclusion that I have to write this post before I can move along.  Here is the story of Pete.

Pete's mother and my uncle's wife were half-sisters.  It seems strange that Pete and I didn't meet until I was in the later years of elementary school, as 'back home' is a very small and close community.  As it is, I first met Pete after my mother began working for his family and she took me to work with her.  He was two years older than me and it was obvious that his task was to keep me entertained so that my mother could get on with her work.  Even though Pete was in early middle-school, he never gave me the impression that I was a pain-in-the-ass or that he didn't want to spend time with me.  And this is the kind of person he was.

Pete's family owned greenhouses and a floral shop.  I still believe that my experiences there are what have made me love flowers and floral design as I do.  (I am not now, nor have I ever been, a professional designer--I have taken several classes and enjoy the process of making arrangements very much.)  We would walk through the greenhouses and see all of the flowers growing--I remember being shown how they planted poinsettias.  Pete and I even 'manned' the road-side store/hothouse on numerous occasions.  Other than this, I don't remember much of what we did on the days I spent there.  This is when we became friends.

As the years went on, I quit going to work with my mother, but Pete and I then became 'phone-buddies.'  The phone was about the only way we kept in contact, as we lived in different towns and went to different schools.  This is not to say we didn't get a chance to see each other, just that it wasn't very often.  Whenever I would babysit, Pete and I usually had marathon phone sessions.  I have no idea what our conversations were about, but I'm sure it helped solidify our friendship.

Just before I began dating my first love, Pete and I went out a couple of times to the movies.  It was as friends having fun together, but I often wonder if he would have wanted to move into a different direction.  This was not something I was interested in, so any spark was extinguished before it even began.  And this worked out well for each of us.

During my 'dating years' of high school, Pete and I had very minimal contact.  We both were busy with different aspects of our lives and with him being older than me, he moved onto college and the real world sooner than I did.  Pete got his degree in biology at our local university and spent many years working the family business before moving to Oregon.  When he moved to Oregon, he got his master's degree in horticulture and met and married his wife.  They returned to the family business and he helped make the area just that much more beautiful with all of his gardening skills and advice.

I must say a bit about Pete's skills with everything green.  He was the go-to guy when anyone had problems with their lawns or plants--and everyone in a 100 mile radius of where he lived knew him and went to him for advice.  Not only did he have his own call-in talk show on the local radio station, but he also taught the master gardener's classes for many years.  My sister-in-law tells the story of bringing a tree branch into his store in order to ask advice.  She said he told her more about the tree the branch was from than she ever wanted to know and he was able to tell her what was wrong with it and how to take care of it.  His knowledge was immense.

Pete and his wife ran the business for 25 years before retiring and returning to Oregon.  He continued with his love of 'beautifying' places and worked for the town they lived in as their master landscapist/gardener.  After being diagnosed two years ago with leukemia, he was only able to get back to his job for a few short weeks--something that must have saddened him beyond words.

Since high school, Pete and I saw each other rarely.  Actually, we had almost no direct contact with each other.  We didn't write and we didn't call.  This may seem strange, but it is what it is.  The most surprising thing, though, is that whenever we DID get together, it was as if we had just talked to each other the previous week.  We had a strong connection somehow and time didn't seem to diminish that in the least.  When we would see each other, after the first few minutes of catching up with each other's lives, we would settle into our friendship and just be able to talk.  It truly was an amazing relationship.

What can I say about Pete, the person?  He had the kindest, gentlest spirit of anyone I know.  As I said, he was a genius when it came to growing things, but I also remember he played the organ beautifully.  (I'm not sure if he continued playing after high school, but I remember him playing for me when I would visit at his parent's house.)  He was very spiritual and a very dedicated member of their church.  His wife had a particularly bad bout with breast cancer a few years ago and I'm sure her getting through it was partly the reason they were so optimistic about his chances of beating the leukemia.  Sadly, it didn't happen.

Arrangements are still being finalized for Pete's memorial services.  There will be one in Oregon and another 'back home.'  I don't think I will be attending the one back home, simply because of the enormous amount of people that will be there.  If less than 500 people attend the service for him, I will be shocked.  And in that crowd, I won't be missed by anyone.  I will send a card and note to his wife and remember him in my own way.

Dear Pete:  I am saddened by your death, but happy that you are now at peace.  I cannot imagine the joy you felt when you got to see the gardens of heaven and realized you get to spend eternity doing the very thing you loved best, taking care of flowers.  I will never forget you, my friend.  With love.

RIP

So Very Saddened

Almost a year ago, I shared the story of my friend Pete who was battling a very virulent type of leukemia.  He was doing quite well, but he (along with his wife and medical professionals) decided he would go for the 'permanent' cure and do a blood marrow transplant.  At the time, no cancer cells had been found in his body for over six months, but the doctors recommended the transplant as an extra step toward cure.  Pete and his wife decided to go along with the recommendation and he had his transplant on 8 August 2011.  Since then--as well as before--I have been following his 'story' on his webpage on CaringBridge.  This morning I read the latest post, written on 1 May:  Pete is going to stop struggling and hanging on and make arrangements to go into hospice.  It has been quite a while since I have been so saddened by something I have read.

The transplant went well for Pete and he even managed to go back home for a short period of time, but that is all.  Most of his time has been in a medical setting of one kind or another, whether a hospital, a long-term medical care facility, a rehab/physical therapy facility, or 'halfway' house.  He has struggled with emergency surgeries, enormous amounts of medications, side-effects from the medications, and other horrifying problems.  I'm not sure if he has gone many days without pain of one sort or another.  The struggle has been enormous and the doctors have said it is time to come to an end, they have no more that they can do for him.  It is at times like this that we realize how much medicine is still in its infancy.

I will spend the next days praying for Pete.  I will pray that his last days on this earth are as pain free as possible and that he and his wife can have the closure they need.  And I will pray that they will not look on the attempt to prolong his life as a mistake.  That last prayer, more than anything.  Go with God, Pete--I know He will welcome you with open arms and say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."  (Matthew 25:21)

Guilty Pleasure

The other day I happened upon a website that is a new guilty pleasure for me:  STFU, Parents.  It basically is all about slamming parents who have too much time on their hands/are too self-absorbed/think they have THE cutest, best, smartest child in the world/need to tell everyone what 'little Elvis' or 'tiny Daisy' did today--and that includes descriptions of all their bodily functions ad nauseum.  This is all about the world's worse Facebook status updates with snarky comments following.  If you don't have anyone who abuses Facebook like the people featured on this site do, then you don't have enough Facebook friends.  ;)  Unfortunately, I have far too many who could be featured here any day of the week.  (One of the things that is regularly 'discussed' on this site are the horrible names people name their kids.  Far too many people give their kids made-up names.  One of my 'friends' has a girl named [sorry, but I HAD to get rid of the name--it is too unique and I'm afraid this blog could be found by 'mommy dearest' through a search]*  UGH!)  If you can ignore the language--as well as some of the things that piss people off (I don't agree with all of the 'pet peeves' people have on this site)--then head on over and read a while.  I defy you to read too far without wondering what the hell this generation is doing.

Another reason I LOVE the site:  I learned the word 'bajingo.'  My new, favorite word for 'lady parts.'  :D

*I will tell you the name if you email me--IF you need to know that badly.  :)

Just For Laughs

Some amusement for a Thursday afternoon:

Men

I have a problem with men who wear colored nail polish.  I can deal with long hair--and in many cases, really like it.  I have no problem with guys who wear an earring and will tolerate two or more.  But nail polish just doesn't go for me.  And a lot of v-neck shirts--especially the DEEP v-necks--are just not acceptable at all.  I'm sure this is another one of those 'age things' that keep cropping up.  ;)

Hipster Barista

Hmmm...maybe the v-neck shirt is the worst offender of the group.  :D

Mom Loves YOU Best

I believe that everyone who is not an only child has, at one time or another, said/thought "{brother/sister's name} is Mom's favorite."  It is an inevitable part of growing up.  And in my case, when it seems as if the sibling has received far more from the parents/Mom than you have, the proof is right in front of you.  I am one of two children and I am the mother of two, so I have seen this issue from both sides.

Whether it is true or not, I feel as if The Brother was always the favored one.  He DID have privileges I never did, simply because of his gender.  Also, because he could never sever the apron-string ties, he has gotten more materially from The Parents than I ever did.  While I *think* I have gotten over most of the 'slights' I believe I suffered, it is kind of hard to go through life feeling as if you were not the favored child.  But life goes on.

I have tried my darndest to be as even-handed with my girls as possible.  I know I haven't succeeded as well as I would have wanted to, but I have tried.  These days it is difficult to give equally--materialistically, that is--because of where each lives.  The Youngest lives 8+ hours away and The Oldest is only 2 hours away.  Also, with The Youngest not having any children, we give much more to The Oldest and the grandchildren.  Yet, we do the best we can.

The Oldest has ALWAYS been the one who cries "You love A better than me!!!!!  She has ALWAYS been your favorite!!!"  I can't say that A doesn't feel as if SHE isn't the favored one--and she probably DOES feel as if we 'love' her sister best--simply because she is quite closed-mouthed about most things.  This is just part of growing up with siblings--kind of like "Tell him/her to stop touching me!"  :)

The Oldest can't believe that I actually did this, but I have attempted to analyze whether or not I have a favorite child.  Over the course of several days, I thought about each of my girls and what I felt.  I looked at their good and bad sides and tried to determine if one had the 'edge' over the other in my affections.  And my conclusion was:  I do NOT have a favorite daughter.  I love them equally, but in/for different ways.

The Youngest is possibly the sweetest person to ever live on this earth.  She is kind and helpful in ways that put me to shame.  She is The Animal Whisperer--her connection with animals is the most amazing thing I have ever seen.  She isn't a complainer--actually, she keeps things to herself that she SHOULDN'T.  Soft-spoken, always with a smile, and with the greatest dimples ever to be seen on earth.  Kind-hearted is much too tame of a description for her.  She has become a world-class baker and enjoys doing it--and this has freed me from having to do the baking that I did for so long.  I love spending time with her and we get along very well--she was my rock, my friend, when we had so much trouble with her sister.  (She DID give us trouble, also, but right now I'm just going with the positives.  ;))

The Oldest is the most amazing woman on earth.  She manages--I have NO idea HOW--to keep a household of 9 people running rather smoothly.  She loves her life and wouldn't change anything about it--other than have more money, but which of us DOESN'T want that ?  ;)  My Oldest could/would/and does talk to doorknobs, and can get a response!  Social situations have never appeared to frighten her--her confidence around people is something that I envy more than I can say.  She will MAKE time if someone needs her help.  She is bold, opinionated, and she doesn't care what others think of her.  In many ways, she is who I want to be when I grow up.  :)

If I needed to pick a favorite of my two girls, I would have to admit it is not possible.  Each is amazing and the only thing I could possibly want more is to have one person that combines the best of each of them.  But then I wouldn't have the pleasure of loving TWO such awesome women.

Business As Usual?

Quite uncharacteristically, we haven't had any snow here in the UP for several weeks.  Typically, we would be experiencing melting and (depending on the temperature) the possibilities of flooding.  While there usually is a late-season snowstorm of some consequence, the time is fast approaching where we don't have to worry about it.  Of course, I always like to point out the SNOWSTORM that we had within the first few days of May 1973, where the UP--or parts of it, anyway--were pretty much closed down.  It was blizzard conditions, the roads were impassable, we had white-outs and drifting, and the only way to be completely safe was to stay indoors wherever you happened to be stranded.  The biggest positive about the late storms is that the snow melts very quickly afterwards and we are back in the business of springtime.  And this year we have the strangest weather to ever be recorded.

Since we had record-breaking temperatures in the 80s during the month of March, the temps have been quite normal.  Basically, we have experienced 30s and 40s with fluctuations into the 60s.  As I said, this is quite normal, but without any snow on the ground--it all melted during the heatwave--things just don't seem 'right.'  And to make things even a bit more unusual, it really was a bit surprising to see snow actually stick to the ground here today.  And that is something I never thought I would say.  :)

At 7:30 this evening, here is what our yard looked like from our back porch:

You can't really tell from the pictures, but we have some hyacinths that have flowered near the side-fence and the chipmunk-replanted tulips are already quite high.  It will be interesting to see what this snow will do to those plants.  I'm not too concerned because these are all leftovers from years gone past, but I do worry about what this snow/cold will do to the just-emerging leaves on all of the trees.  And I don't know what will happen to our neighbors' magnolia tree.  It is/was in full bloom before this snow and it certainly isn't going to escape unscathed.

I am feeling fairly confident in proclaiming this the last measurable snow of this winter.  If things had been 'normal,' I never would make such a declaration, but I don't fear saying as much this year.  :)

In Other Words...

A few years ago, Michelle Obama was described as 'uppity.'  This caused an entire sh*tstorm across the country.  The media got involved as well as the interwebs.  (I guess everyone was talking about it, but I personally didn't follow the story, so I'm just assuming.)  From what I understand, the word 'uppity' is racist.  Well blow me away!  I guess my family has been racist all these years and never knew it.  We knew quite a few 'uppity' people and not one of them were black--probably because we didn't have many blacks in our part of the country.  But we certainly knew an 'uppity' person when we saw one.

As unpopular as it might be among some people, I have to say that I DO find Michelle to appear quite snobbish.  (I won't use the 'U' word because I don't want to appear racist.)  In no way, shape, or form can I imagine this woman down here in the trenches with us 'little people.'  I cannot see her shopping at Walmart or taking an hour and a half to do grocery shopping because of comparing prices.  I could never see her driving a used, American-made vehicle or eating at anything but a high-end, elite restaurant.  I really don't think she knows what a Holiday Inn is and would never find herself IN one.  Cost Cutters is beyond her realm, completely.

Now, before anyone accuses me of being racist, I feel as if there was no one more snobbish than Jackie Kennedy.  As much as people admire/d the woman, I believe she didn't even know there was more to the US than the east coast--specifically New York City and Massachusetts.  She was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and died with it firmly in place--and she certainly acted the part.

And don't think I am only targeting Democrats:  I have to voice my disdain for Nancy Reagan.  I think THIS woman didn't even realize that anyone outside of her social circle existed, much less know there was a middle class or middle of the country.  She built an ivory tower for herself and occupied it and only allowed her 'equals' to come and visit--or so it would seem.

The bottom line to all of this is the word 'uppity.'  The dictionary goes along with how I have always understood the word:  self-important; arrogant; conceited; haughty.  Nothing racist here, for sure.  However, I guess it means something different to people in the South?  Oh, well.  I guess I'm completely ignorant, because I never knew this.  And this is just one more reason why I hate political correctness so much:  How can we ever know just what is and what isn't offensive?  Can't any/every word be offensive to someone?  Are we going to have to have a list of approved words, eventually, that we can use just so someone's feelings aren't hurt?  When is all of this bullsh*t going to end?

It's 'THAT' Time, Again

For those who don't follow, the NHL playoffs began this past Wednesday.  And the Red Wings are in the playoffs for the 21st year in a row, thankyouforasking.  This, of course, puts my mindset just a little bit worse than a mother black bear when someone threatens her cubs.  So, for the foreseeable future, my posts here will probably NOT be very amusing.  I find when I'm in this kind of a mood, things that have been 'irking' me for a time come to the forefront of my mind.  And when this happens, I usually post here.  Just a warning to the two (three?) people who come to visit regularly.  ;D

I Hate Political Correctness

Very rarely will you find me reading the 'advice' columns, ala 'Ann Landers.'  Once they were a regular part of my newspaper-reading experience, but quickly fell into disfavor with me when the answers given began to be more 'all-inclusive' rather than 'morally, socially correct.'  It seems as if these advice columns were politically correct even before the term became common.  And I find that they are absolutely unreadable today.  The advice given is usually what 'should' be done in a 'perfect' world--something that does not exist in reality.  Anyone could be an advice columnist these days--all you have to do is open a copy of "Political Correctness for Dummies" and use it to guide your answers.  You certainly don't find the "Wake up and smell the coffee." advice of years gone by.

For one reason or another--not that I can remember why--I found myself reading 'Dear Prudence' on Slate one day a few weeks ago.  And I read a letter and answer that absolutely astonished me.  I believe this is political correctness gone WAY too far.  I will post the entire thing here:

Dear Prudie,
I have a fifth-grade son who is white and plays basketball on a mostly black team. He has made friends with many of his black teammates and hangs out with them a lot. I’m happy that he's so colorblind, but then I heard him call his new friends "my niggas." I was horrified and immediately talked to him about it. He said that his black friends use the term all the time and told him it was OK for him to use it with them, too. He said that he understood the history of the word and knows that it can be hateful when used wrongly. My son clearly isn't intolerant, but he could get in a lot of trouble throwing that word around. I don't even know if it’s OK for a white kid with black friends to use that word if they all do, and no one means it in a bad way. I usually feel confident guiding my son, but on this one I have no idea what to tell him.

—Stumped

Dear Stumped,
If only our 10-year-olds could stay so innocently well-intentioned. Unfortunately, even though you’ve had one conversation about this, and your son knows some of the history of this word, you have to revisit this so that your boy doesn’t find himself the subject of a complaint and the object lesson in a lecture at a school assembly. Perhaps when he was tiny you had some comic, endearing names for your son such as Mr. Stinkbottom or Sir Droolsalot. (If not, pretend you did.) You can tell him that within families people can call each other things that might be insulting if said to an outsider, but among relatives it’s done with a tone of teasing affection. That’s what’s going on with his friends on the team. Yes, the whole team is a kind of family, but for many people their ethnic or racial group also has the feel of a family. Because of that, there are things that the black players can call each other but which sound very different coming from his mouth. You can say you know his teammates have encouraged him to say it, but if a teacher, parent, or coach heard him, it’s likely that person wouldn’t understand. It’s possible that a parent of his teammate could be offended and report his remark, no matter how affectionately it was said. Say you know this doesn’t seem fair, but the history of this word still has the power to cause great pain. So as a sign of respect to those who might be hurt by it, he needs to understand that his friends can use the phrase with him, but he must refrain from returning it.    

—Prudie

I understand the reasoning behind telling the kid to stop using 'that' word, but how sad is that he has to be frightened for his safety when he's done/doing nothing wrong?  I can't help but think of a foster/adopted family situation where there might be kids of different races NOT being allowed to tease each other or use 'improper' words while talking to each other.  Things are just getting so out of control!

This reminds me so much of the problem we had with our local high school's logo/mascot/nickname a few years ago. The logo is a Native American in full headdress and the nickname is 'Redmen.'  (The nickname has NOTHING to do with Native Americans--it is in reference to the color of iron ore that is mined in our county and the fact that the miners were 'red' after a long day's work.)  As in so many other communities, the usage of a Native American as a logo upset some people.  There was a drive to get the high school to abandon the logo and nickname and it divided our community and caused long-term bad feelings amongst many.  My youngest was in school at the time, so we watched this very closely--the meetings were even broadcast on our cable system for those who couldn't attend.  When it was finally all done, the logo/mascot/nickname remained the same, despite the efforts of a certain group of people--and I believe the community is happy with the results to this day.

So, how did we manage to keep a politically INcorrect logo for our school?  I believe it boiled down to one thing:  the people/group who were opposed to it in the first place.  As it turned out, the people who were 'hurt' by this were part of the university community and NOT natives to our town /county/community.  Someone decided that this was disrespectful and got a bunch of PC supporters to make a protest about how horrible this entire thing was.  This, in turn, got the school board to run scared and decide that 'something had to be done about this atrocity!'  Funny thing is, very few of the locals--which includes a large group of Native Americans--had ANY problem with the logo, whatsoever!  So, a problem that WASN'T a problem, became a problem and was solved through a lot of unnecessary fighting, yelling, and tears.  How sad.

How did we get to this point in this country?  When did EVERY community have to be exactly like every other community and have to think and do things the same way?  What made this country so exciting and vital was the fact that anywhere you went would be an adventure--you could find something you were unfamiliar with and learn something new.  It seems as if we are slowly being forced into a homogeneous blend of absolute mediocrity--NO segment can be any more colorful/interesting than any other segment of society.  And some people won't be satisfied until there are actually NO differences among us.  Again, how sad.

"Just Sayin'..."

The other day, one of my Facebook 'friends' posted a bunch of videos from a drag show she had attended.  She also posted this:

"If you do not like the videos I am posting, PLEASE keep ur comments to yourself, these are friends of mine!  Just Sayin'...thanks!"  

AND:

"...if someone is thinking about it, they better stop before they even do, cuz if ur gonna bash 'em, that is bullying & cause for me to delete ur a$$ for being ignorant!" 

This got under my collar a bit and I was getting ready to send her an email in response, but decided against--she is a family member, so I didn't want to start a war.  ;)  Instead, I will post my thoughts here for all to see.


An Open Letter To The Internet

Dear Interwebs User/s,

There is NOTHING you can put online that will keep everyone happy.  Everything you post will have at least one person disagreeing with you.  (Hell, I can think of two or three people that I know who would argue with me if I said "The sky is blue."!!!!!)  And then you go and post something provocative and expect NOTHING to be said.  What the hell century were you born in?!?!?!  You are just looking for a fight, right?  And just because you add "PLEASE keep your comments to yourself..." etc, doesn't mean you won't hear things you don't want.  Right, wrong, or otherwise, not everyone will agree with you on everything, nor will everyone like the same things you do.  And you KNOW this, otherwise you wouldn't have written any 'warnings' to detractors.  If you don't want to hear anyone else's opinions about things, then STFU!!

I would like to ask, once and for all, WHY someone not agreeing with you is bullying and not to be allowed?  YOU are stating your opinion, so why can't someone with an opposing viewpoint state THEIR opinion without getting bashed for it?  We do have the right of free speech--for the time being, anyway.  Aren't YOU, in turn, doing the same bullying that you accuse others of?  I really don't understand this mindset.  I have quite a few friends/acquaintances who do NOT share my beliefs on a number of very serious topics.  I try not to step on their toes, as I am sure they try not to step on mine.  (And we DEFINITELY don't call each other 'ignorant'--even if we think that's the case!)  We have an understanding--spoken or not--where we will agree to disagree on certain subjects and not discuss them.  Case closed, problem solved.

However, when and if I DO post on a sensitive issue, I expect to have disagreements--or, at the very least, comments from those who oppose my beliefs.  And that is fine--otherwise, *I* would keep my thoughts to myself.  I still believe all are entitled to express their own opinions, despite the fact I may get angry with said opinion.  If I didn't want to hear opposing views, I would stay quiet.  And then I wouldn't have to issue any 'warnings.'

So, grow up already.  It is not cool to try and provoke people into fights.  If you want drama in your life, I'm sure there are other ways of getting it--but you probably are a wuss and don't want to have any kind of confrontation in person.

And believe it or not, if you read this carefully, it can apply to ANYONE, no matter WHICH side of the liberal/conservative line you happen to fall.

"Just Sayin'..."

As always,
ME

Crisis Averted

I have been blaming my trouble understanding people with accents to my hearing loss.  Thinking about this, I realize that I have ALWAYS had problems with accents.  (With the exception of Finnish accents--which the accents around here are based on.)  And one time this problem came very close to me being embarrassed beyond belief.

After I graduated from high school, I tried college for about a minute and a half.  Realizing that this wasn't quite what I wanted at the time, I quit and looked for work.  Finally, after several months, I was hired to work in a dental office as an assistant.  This office, for some reason, was the one recommended whenever any of the students at the university needed dental work.  The university is (and was) a world-class engineering school and attracted students from all over the world.  One day, I had one of these foreign students as a patient.

I don't remember the young man's name--and it doesn't really matter in the telling of this story.  While waiting for the dentist to come in and do an exam, I tried to make the young man comfortable and less nervous.  We began talking.  I found out that he was from Kuwait and that he was to return home shortly, after getting his degree.  His country was paying for him to attend school, as they did for anyone who wanted an education.  The only stipulation was that they must return home after getting their degrees.  He either said, or implied, that money was very plentiful for him.  While talking, he made a remark about how much he liked blonde hair, indicating my waist-length hair.  For the most part, I was pretty sure I understood everything he was saying, even with his very strong accent.  However, I did do some of the 'smile and nod your head like you understand' thing that most people do when they don't want to ask someone to repeat what they are saying.  It was shortly after that I realized I didn't quite 'get' all that he said, that he was telling me how he was looking for a wife to bring back home to Kuwait with him.  I also realized that he was implying that I would be a good candidate for the job!  It most certainly didn't take me too long to let him know that K was very much in the picture for me and that we were serious about our relationship.  Undeterred, the young man invited me to visit him in Kuwait whenever I wanted.  He promised to give me a camel as a gift if I ever made it to his country.  Obviously, I never made it to Kuwait, but I sure wouldn't have minded having a camel as a pet.  :)