Saturday, October 23, 2010

Let's All Laugh

People have brain farts all of the time, but they definitely make for some funny reading.  Such as:

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a pet for my daughter. I think she’d like one of those furry things. You know, a pikachu?”
Me: *pause* “A pikachu?”
Customer: “Yeah, you know. It looks like a hamster and a rabbit put together.”
Me: “Do you mean a chinchilla?”
Customer: “Yeah! That’s it!”

And then there are those who aren't using their brain cells at all:

(When taking a call from a customer who has a trash pickup problem I usually pull up an aerial picture to see what the property configuration is.)
Me: “How may I help you sir?”
Caller: “I think the garbage truck ran over my cement pad and broke the corner.”
Me: “You mean the small pad on the north side of the driveway?”
Caller: *long pause* “Do you memorize everyone’s property?”
Me: “No, I pulled up your property on my computer and I’m looking at a picture of your front yard.”
Caller: “Wow! That’s really amazing! Wait, wait, give me a second!”
(The customer drops the phone and I can hear him calling someone as he leaves the room. About one minute later he gets back on the phone and is slightly out of breath.)
Caller: “Can you see her now?”
Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand?”
Caller: “My wife, my wife, she’s out on the front lawn in the white bathrobe and curlers. I can see her waving up at you!”

And we can only hope this teenage girl actually gets smarter with age:

           This takes place in New Zealand.
(A teenage girl enters the library.)
Me: “Hi, do you need help?”
Customer: “Oh, yeah, I’m looking for a book.”
Me: “Okay, are you a member of this library or any other Wellington library?”
Customer: “Oh, no, I’m here with my Mother for the US summer cause I live with Dad in Florida.”
Me: “Okay, we can sign you up to the library for free and issue you a card, the card will cost two dollars.”
Customer: “Okay.”
Me: “So, what book were you looking for?”
Customer: “Twilight. Have you heard of it? Most people in America have read it, but I’m not sure if it’s here.”
Me: “Oh, yeah, it was quite big for a while. My sister loved it.”
Customer: “Yeah, it’s my second favorite book ever, after Eclipse.”
Me: “Oh, did you leave your copy in America?”
Customer: “No, I just wanted a copy from here because everyone here has really funny accents  and I wanted to know how that would change the story.”

All of these are from Not Always Right.


ordinaryjanet said...

boy, that teenage girl is really an airhead! Maybe all that Florida sun cooked her brain!

cmk said...

You know, I don't think you can even make this stuff up! And every time I re-read the 'funny accent' story, I just laugh! WOW--just WOW. :D

Dazd said...

A Pikachu...buwahahahaha

cmk said...

Either one huge brain fart or too much time spent with video games. :D

meleah rebeccah said...

OMG! Ahahahahahah! Those were hilarious!