Let's All Laugh

People have brain farts all of the time, but they definitely make for some funny reading.  Such as:

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a pet for my daughter. I think she’d like one of those furry things. You know, a pikachu?”
Me: *pause* “A pikachu?”
Customer: “Yeah, you know. It looks like a hamster and a rabbit put together.”
Me: “Do you mean a chinchilla?”
Customer: “Yeah! That’s it!”

And then there are those who aren't using their brain cells at all:

(When taking a call from a customer who has a trash pickup problem I usually pull up an aerial picture to see what the property configuration is.)
Me: “How may I help you sir?”
Caller: “I think the garbage truck ran over my cement pad and broke the corner.”
Me: “You mean the small pad on the north side of the driveway?”
Caller: *long pause* “Do you memorize everyone’s property?”
Me: “No, I pulled up your property on my computer and I’m looking at a picture of your front yard.”
Caller: “Wow! That’s really amazing! Wait, wait, give me a second!”
(The customer drops the phone and I can hear him calling someone as he leaves the room. About one minute later he gets back on the phone and is slightly out of breath.)
Caller: “Can you see her now?”
Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand?”
Caller: “My wife, my wife, she’s out on the front lawn in the white bathrobe and curlers. I can see her waving up at you!”

And we can only hope this teenage girl actually gets smarter with age:

           This takes place in New Zealand.

(A teenage girl enters the library.)
Me: “Hi, do you need help?”
Customer: “Oh, yeah, I’m looking for a book.”
Me: “Okay, are you a member of this library or any other Wellington library?”
Customer: “Oh, no, I’m here with my Mother for the US summer cause I live with Dad in Florida.”
Me: “Okay, we can sign you up to the library for free and issue you a card, the card will cost two dollars.”
Customer: “Okay.”
Me: “So, what book were you looking for?”
Customer: “Twilight. Have you heard of it? Most people in America have read it, but I’m not sure if it’s here.”
Me: “Oh, yeah, it was quite big for a while. My sister loved it.”
Customer: “Yeah, it’s my second favorite book ever, after Eclipse.”
Me: “Oh, did you leave your copy in America?”
Customer: “No, I just wanted a copy from here because everyone here has really funny accents  and I wanted to know how that would change the story.”

All of these are from Not Always Right.