Monday, August 12, 2019

Going From We To Me

In today's world, it isn't all that unusual for a person to be part of a 'couple' one day and be 'alone' the next. That's just the way things are. But for me, going from 'we' to 'me' has been quite an experience. I was married for 45 years and then The Husband died. And it pretty much was THAT quickly...

The Husband had been diagnosed with his kidney disease almost 15 years ago. We found out in 2015 that the disease was no longer stable and that dialysis and/or kidney transplant was coming sooner rather than later. For two years, he did his three-times-a-week dialysis...and he did very well. Except for the crap kidneys, he was quite healthy. We had every hope that he would get a new kidney in the near future. Then things changed...

About a year ago, he just wasn't himself, and things got worse from there. We all thought he was just having more symptoms of his kidney disease until he said "Enough!" and went to his PCP to be checked out. After some testing, it was determined that he had a bad gallbladder and needed surgery. The trouble is, the day of the surgery, his blood work showed that there was more going on. He was in the hospital the last week of November and came home with a diagnosis of liver cancer that had metastasized from the pancreas. We were in a state of shock!

The Husband was home for about 10 days and wound up back in the hospital. Less than two weeks later, he died. Dying on 22 December didn't make for a very good Christmas last year, to say the least.

So, I went from 'we' to 'me', just like that. I am negotiating life as best I can. I have had to go back to being as independent as I had to be while The Girls were growing up. (With The Husband working shift work his entire career, I needed to do A LOT of independent thinking with raising the girls.) I'm eight months into this new way of life and it is becoming second nature to me...I think. I muddle on through the best I can and keep putting one foot in front of the other. There probably are more surprises in my future and I can only hope they are GOOD ones.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Disquis

Being In a Funk

I'm still having a bit of a funk going on in my life. To be expected, I guess. But, it REALLY is affecting me to see my best friend ...