So Very Saddened

Almost a year ago, I shared the story of my friend Pete who was battling a very virulent type of leukemia.  He was doing quite well, but he (along with his wife and medical professionals) decided he would go for the 'permanent' cure and do a blood marrow transplant.  At the time, no cancer cells had been found in his body for over six months, but the doctors recommended the transplant as an extra step toward cure.  Pete and his wife decided to go along with the recommendation and he had his transplant on 8 August 2011.  Since then--as well as before--I have been following his 'story' on his webpage on CaringBridge.  This morning I read the latest post, written on 1 May:  Pete is going to stop struggling and hanging on and make arrangements to go into hospice.  It has been quite a while since I have been so saddened by something I have read.

The transplant went well for Pete and he even managed to go back home for a short period of time, but that is all.  Most of his time has been in a medical setting of one kind or another, whether a hospital, a long-term medical care facility, a rehab/physical therapy facility, or 'halfway' house.  He has struggled with emergency surgeries, enormous amounts of medications, side-effects from the medications, and other horrifying problems.  I'm not sure if he has gone many days without pain of one sort or another.  The struggle has been enormous and the doctors have said it is time to come to an end, they have no more that they can do for him.  It is at times like this that we realize how much medicine is still in its infancy.

I will spend the next days praying for Pete.  I will pray that his last days on this earth are as pain free as possible and that he and his wife can have the closure they need.  And I will pray that they will not look on the attempt to prolong his life as a mistake.  That last prayer, more than anything.  Go with God, Pete--I know He will welcome you with open arms and say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."  (Matthew 25:21)

Guilty Pleasure

The other day I happened upon a website that is a new guilty pleasure for me:  STFU, Parents.  It basically is all about slamming parents who have too much time on their hands/are too self-absorbed/think they have THE cutest, best, smartest child in the world/need to tell everyone what 'little Elvis' or 'tiny Daisy' did today--and that includes descriptions of all their bodily functions ad nauseum.  This is all about the world's worse Facebook status updates with snarky comments following.  If you don't have anyone who abuses Facebook like the people featured on this site do, then you don't have enough Facebook friends.  ;)  Unfortunately, I have far too many who could be featured here any day of the week.  (One of the things that is regularly 'discussed' on this site are the horrible names people name their kids.  Far too many people give their kids made-up names.  One of my 'friends' has a girl named [sorry, but I HAD to get rid of the name--it is too unique and I'm afraid this blog could be found by 'mommy dearest' through a search]*  UGH!)  If you can ignore the language--as well as some of the things that piss people off (I don't agree with all of the 'pet peeves' people have on this site)--then head on over and read a while.  I defy you to read too far without wondering what the hell this generation is doing.

Another reason I LOVE the site:  I learned the word 'bajingo.'  My new, favorite word for 'lady parts.'  :D

*I will tell you the name if you email me--IF you need to know that badly.  :)

Just For Laughs

Some amusement for a Thursday afternoon:

Men

I have a problem with men who wear colored nail polish.  I can deal with long hair--and in many cases, really like it.  I have no problem with guys who wear an earring and will tolerate two or more.  But nail polish just doesn't go for me.  And a lot of v-neck shirts--especially the DEEP v-necks--are just not acceptable at all.  I'm sure this is another one of those 'age things' that keep cropping up.  ;)

Hipster Barista

Hmmm...maybe the v-neck shirt is the worst offender of the group.  :D

Mom Loves YOU Best

I believe that everyone who is not an only child has, at one time or another, said/thought "{brother/sister's name} is Mom's favorite."  It is an inevitable part of growing up.  And in my case, when it seems as if the sibling has received far more from the parents/Mom than you have, the proof is right in front of you.  I am one of two children and I am the mother of two, so I have seen this issue from both sides.

Whether it is true or not, I feel as if The Brother was always the favored one.  He DID have privileges I never did, simply because of his gender.  Also, because he could never sever the apron-string ties, he has gotten more materially from The Parents than I ever did.  While I *think* I have gotten over most of the 'slights' I believe I suffered, it is kind of hard to go through life feeling as if you were not the favored child.  But life goes on.

I have tried my darndest to be as even-handed with my girls as possible.  I know I haven't succeeded as well as I would have wanted to, but I have tried.  These days it is difficult to give equally--materialistically, that is--because of where each lives.  The Youngest lives 8+ hours away and The Oldest is only 2 hours away.  Also, with The Youngest not having any children, we give much more to The Oldest and the grandchildren.  Yet, we do the best we can.

The Oldest has ALWAYS been the one who cries "You love A better than me!!!!!  She has ALWAYS been your favorite!!!"  I can't say that A doesn't feel as if SHE isn't the favored one--and she probably DOES feel as if we 'love' her sister best--simply because she is quite closed-mouthed about most things.  This is just part of growing up with siblings--kind of like "Tell him/her to stop touching me!"  :)

The Oldest can't believe that I actually did this, but I have attempted to analyze whether or not I have a favorite child.  Over the course of several days, I thought about each of my girls and what I felt.  I looked at their good and bad sides and tried to determine if one had the 'edge' over the other in my affections.  And my conclusion was:  I do NOT have a favorite daughter.  I love them equally, but in/for different ways.

The Youngest is possibly the sweetest person to ever live on this earth.  She is kind and helpful in ways that put me to shame.  She is The Animal Whisperer--her connection with animals is the most amazing thing I have ever seen.  She isn't a complainer--actually, she keeps things to herself that she SHOULDN'T.  Soft-spoken, always with a smile, and with the greatest dimples ever to be seen on earth.  Kind-hearted is much too tame of a description for her.  She has become a world-class baker and enjoys doing it--and this has freed me from having to do the baking that I did for so long.  I love spending time with her and we get along very well--she was my rock, my friend, when we had so much trouble with her sister.  (She DID give us trouble, also, but right now I'm just going with the positives.  ;))

The Oldest is the most amazing woman on earth.  She manages--I have NO idea HOW--to keep a household of 9 people running rather smoothly.  She loves her life and wouldn't change anything about it--other than have more money, but which of us DOESN'T want that ?  ;)  My Oldest could/would/and does talk to doorknobs, and can get a response!  Social situations have never appeared to frighten her--her confidence around people is something that I envy more than I can say.  She will MAKE time if someone needs her help.  She is bold, opinionated, and she doesn't care what others think of her.  In many ways, she is who I want to be when I grow up.  :)

If I needed to pick a favorite of my two girls, I would have to admit it is not possible.  Each is amazing and the only thing I could possibly want more is to have one person that combines the best of each of them.  But then I wouldn't have the pleasure of loving TWO such awesome women.

Business As Usual?

Quite uncharacteristically, we haven't had any snow here in the UP for several weeks.  Typically, we would be experiencing melting and (depending on the temperature) the possibilities of flooding.  While there usually is a late-season snowstorm of some consequence, the time is fast approaching where we don't have to worry about it.  Of course, I always like to point out the SNOWSTORM that we had within the first few days of May 1973, where the UP--or parts of it, anyway--were pretty much closed down.  It was blizzard conditions, the roads were impassable, we had white-outs and drifting, and the only way to be completely safe was to stay indoors wherever you happened to be stranded.  The biggest positive about the late storms is that the snow melts very quickly afterwards and we are back in the business of springtime.  And this year we have the strangest weather to ever be recorded.

Since we had record-breaking temperatures in the 80s during the month of March, the temps have been quite normal.  Basically, we have experienced 30s and 40s with fluctuations into the 60s.  As I said, this is quite normal, but without any snow on the ground--it all melted during the heatwave--things just don't seem 'right.'  And to make things even a bit more unusual, it really was a bit surprising to see snow actually stick to the ground here today.  And that is something I never thought I would say.  :)

At 7:30 this evening, here is what our yard looked like from our back porch:

You can't really tell from the pictures, but we have some hyacinths that have flowered near the side-fence and the chipmunk-replanted tulips are already quite high.  It will be interesting to see what this snow will do to those plants.  I'm not too concerned because these are all leftovers from years gone past, but I do worry about what this snow/cold will do to the just-emerging leaves on all of the trees.  And I don't know what will happen to our neighbors' magnolia tree.  It is/was in full bloom before this snow and it certainly isn't going to escape unscathed.

I am feeling fairly confident in proclaiming this the last measurable snow of this winter.  If things had been 'normal,' I never would make such a declaration, but I don't fear saying as much this year.  :)

In Other Words...

A few years ago, Michelle Obama was described as 'uppity.'  This caused an entire sh*tstorm across the country.  The media got involved as well as the interwebs.  (I guess everyone was talking about it, but I personally didn't follow the story, so I'm just assuming.)  From what I understand, the word 'uppity' is racist.  Well blow me away!  I guess my family has been racist all these years and never knew it.  We knew quite a few 'uppity' people and not one of them were black--probably because we didn't have many blacks in our part of the country.  But we certainly knew an 'uppity' person when we saw one.

As unpopular as it might be among some people, I have to say that I DO find Michelle to appear quite snobbish.  (I won't use the 'U' word because I don't want to appear racist.)  In no way, shape, or form can I imagine this woman down here in the trenches with us 'little people.'  I cannot see her shopping at Walmart or taking an hour and a half to do grocery shopping because of comparing prices.  I could never see her driving a used, American-made vehicle or eating at anything but a high-end, elite restaurant.  I really don't think she knows what a Holiday Inn is and would never find herself IN one.  Cost Cutters is beyond her realm, completely.

Now, before anyone accuses me of being racist, I feel as if there was no one more snobbish than Jackie Kennedy.  As much as people admire/d the woman, I believe she didn't even know there was more to the US than the east coast--specifically New York City and Massachusetts.  She was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and died with it firmly in place--and she certainly acted the part.

And don't think I am only targeting Democrats:  I have to voice my disdain for Nancy Reagan.  I think THIS woman didn't even realize that anyone outside of her social circle existed, much less know there was a middle class or middle of the country.  She built an ivory tower for herself and occupied it and only allowed her 'equals' to come and visit--or so it would seem.

The bottom line to all of this is the word 'uppity.'  The dictionary goes along with how I have always understood the word:  self-important; arrogant; conceited; haughty.  Nothing racist here, for sure.  However, I guess it means something different to people in the South?  Oh, well.  I guess I'm completely ignorant, because I never knew this.  And this is just one more reason why I hate political correctness so much:  How can we ever know just what is and what isn't offensive?  Can't any/every word be offensive to someone?  Are we going to have to have a list of approved words, eventually, that we can use just so someone's feelings aren't hurt?  When is all of this bullsh*t going to end?

It's 'THAT' Time, Again

For those who don't follow, the NHL playoffs began this past Wednesday.  And the Red Wings are in the playoffs for the 21st year in a row, thankyouforasking.  This, of course, puts my mindset just a little bit worse than a mother black bear when someone threatens her cubs.  So, for the foreseeable future, my posts here will probably NOT be very amusing.  I find when I'm in this kind of a mood, things that have been 'irking' me for a time come to the forefront of my mind.  And when this happens, I usually post here.  Just a warning to the two (three?) people who come to visit regularly.  ;D

I Hate Political Correctness

Very rarely will you find me reading the 'advice' columns, ala 'Ann Landers.'  Once they were a regular part of my newspaper-reading experience, but quickly fell into disfavor with me when the answers given began to be more 'all-inclusive' rather than 'morally, socially correct.'  It seems as if these advice columns were politically correct even before the term became common.  And I find that they are absolutely unreadable today.  The advice given is usually what 'should' be done in a 'perfect' world--something that does not exist in reality.  Anyone could be an advice columnist these days--all you have to do is open a copy of "Political Correctness for Dummies" and use it to guide your answers.  You certainly don't find the "Wake up and smell the coffee." advice of years gone by.

For one reason or another--not that I can remember why--I found myself reading 'Dear Prudence' on Slate one day a few weeks ago.  And I read a letter and answer that absolutely astonished me.  I believe this is political correctness gone WAY too far.  I will post the entire thing here:

Dear Prudie,
I have a fifth-grade son who is white and plays basketball on a mostly black team. He has made friends with many of his black teammates and hangs out with them a lot. I’m happy that he's so colorblind, but then I heard him call his new friends "my niggas." I was horrified and immediately talked to him about it. He said that his black friends use the term all the time and told him it was OK for him to use it with them, too. He said that he understood the history of the word and knows that it can be hateful when used wrongly. My son clearly isn't intolerant, but he could get in a lot of trouble throwing that word around. I don't even know if it’s OK for a white kid with black friends to use that word if they all do, and no one means it in a bad way. I usually feel confident guiding my son, but on this one I have no idea what to tell him.

—Stumped

Dear Stumped,
If only our 10-year-olds could stay so innocently well-intentioned. Unfortunately, even though you’ve had one conversation about this, and your son knows some of the history of this word, you have to revisit this so that your boy doesn’t find himself the subject of a complaint and the object lesson in a lecture at a school assembly. Perhaps when he was tiny you had some comic, endearing names for your son such as Mr. Stinkbottom or Sir Droolsalot. (If not, pretend you did.) You can tell him that within families people can call each other things that might be insulting if said to an outsider, but among relatives it’s done with a tone of teasing affection. That’s what’s going on with his friends on the team. Yes, the whole team is a kind of family, but for many people their ethnic or racial group also has the feel of a family. Because of that, there are things that the black players can call each other but which sound very different coming from his mouth. You can say you know his teammates have encouraged him to say it, but if a teacher, parent, or coach heard him, it’s likely that person wouldn’t understand. It’s possible that a parent of his teammate could be offended and report his remark, no matter how affectionately it was said. Say you know this doesn’t seem fair, but the history of this word still has the power to cause great pain. So as a sign of respect to those who might be hurt by it, he needs to understand that his friends can use the phrase with him, but he must refrain from returning it.    

—Prudie

I understand the reasoning behind telling the kid to stop using 'that' word, but how sad is that he has to be frightened for his safety when he's done/doing nothing wrong?  I can't help but think of a foster/adopted family situation where there might be kids of different races NOT being allowed to tease each other or use 'improper' words while talking to each other.  Things are just getting so out of control!

This reminds me so much of the problem we had with our local high school's logo/mascot/nickname a few years ago. The logo is a Native American in full headdress and the nickname is 'Redmen.'  (The nickname has NOTHING to do with Native Americans--it is in reference to the color of iron ore that is mined in our county and the fact that the miners were 'red' after a long day's work.)  As in so many other communities, the usage of a Native American as a logo upset some people.  There was a drive to get the high school to abandon the logo and nickname and it divided our community and caused long-term bad feelings amongst many.  My youngest was in school at the time, so we watched this very closely--the meetings were even broadcast on our cable system for those who couldn't attend.  When it was finally all done, the logo/mascot/nickname remained the same, despite the efforts of a certain group of people--and I believe the community is happy with the results to this day.

So, how did we manage to keep a politically INcorrect logo for our school?  I believe it boiled down to one thing:  the people/group who were opposed to it in the first place.  As it turned out, the people who were 'hurt' by this were part of the university community and NOT natives to our town /county/community.  Someone decided that this was disrespectful and got a bunch of PC supporters to make a protest about how horrible this entire thing was.  This, in turn, got the school board to run scared and decide that 'something had to be done about this atrocity!'  Funny thing is, very few of the locals--which includes a large group of Native Americans--had ANY problem with the logo, whatsoever!  So, a problem that WASN'T a problem, became a problem and was solved through a lot of unnecessary fighting, yelling, and tears.  How sad.

How did we get to this point in this country?  When did EVERY community have to be exactly like every other community and have to think and do things the same way?  What made this country so exciting and vital was the fact that anywhere you went would be an adventure--you could find something you were unfamiliar with and learn something new.  It seems as if we are slowly being forced into a homogeneous blend of absolute mediocrity--NO segment can be any more colorful/interesting than any other segment of society.  And some people won't be satisfied until there are actually NO differences among us.  Again, how sad.

"Just Sayin'..."

The other day, one of my Facebook 'friends' posted a bunch of videos from a drag show she had attended.  She also posted this:

"If you do not like the videos I am posting, PLEASE keep ur comments to yourself, these are friends of mine!  Just Sayin'...thanks!"  

AND:

"...if someone is thinking about it, they better stop before they even do, cuz if ur gonna bash 'em, that is bullying & cause for me to delete ur a$$ for being ignorant!" 

This got under my collar a bit and I was getting ready to send her an email in response, but decided against--she is a family member, so I didn't want to start a war.  ;)  Instead, I will post my thoughts here for all to see.


An Open Letter To The Internet

Dear Interwebs User/s,

There is NOTHING you can put online that will keep everyone happy.  Everything you post will have at least one person disagreeing with you.  (Hell, I can think of two or three people that I know who would argue with me if I said "The sky is blue."!!!!!)  And then you go and post something provocative and expect NOTHING to be said.  What the hell century were you born in?!?!?!  You are just looking for a fight, right?  And just because you add "PLEASE keep your comments to yourself..." etc, doesn't mean you won't hear things you don't want.  Right, wrong, or otherwise, not everyone will agree with you on everything, nor will everyone like the same things you do.  And you KNOW this, otherwise you wouldn't have written any 'warnings' to detractors.  If you don't want to hear anyone else's opinions about things, then STFU!!

I would like to ask, once and for all, WHY someone not agreeing with you is bullying and not to be allowed?  YOU are stating your opinion, so why can't someone with an opposing viewpoint state THEIR opinion without getting bashed for it?  We do have the right of free speech--for the time being, anyway.  Aren't YOU, in turn, doing the same bullying that you accuse others of?  I really don't understand this mindset.  I have quite a few friends/acquaintances who do NOT share my beliefs on a number of very serious topics.  I try not to step on their toes, as I am sure they try not to step on mine.  (And we DEFINITELY don't call each other 'ignorant'--even if we think that's the case!)  We have an understanding--spoken or not--where we will agree to disagree on certain subjects and not discuss them.  Case closed, problem solved.

However, when and if I DO post on a sensitive issue, I expect to have disagreements--or, at the very least, comments from those who oppose my beliefs.  And that is fine--otherwise, *I* would keep my thoughts to myself.  I still believe all are entitled to express their own opinions, despite the fact I may get angry with said opinion.  If I didn't want to hear opposing views, I would stay quiet.  And then I wouldn't have to issue any 'warnings.'

So, grow up already.  It is not cool to try and provoke people into fights.  If you want drama in your life, I'm sure there are other ways of getting it--but you probably are a wuss and don't want to have any kind of confrontation in person.

And believe it or not, if you read this carefully, it can apply to ANYONE, no matter WHICH side of the liberal/conservative line you happen to fall.

"Just Sayin'..."

As always,
ME

Crisis Averted

I have been blaming my trouble understanding people with accents to my hearing loss.  Thinking about this, I realize that I have ALWAYS had problems with accents.  (With the exception of Finnish accents--which the accents around here are based on.)  And one time this problem came very close to me being embarrassed beyond belief.

After I graduated from high school, I tried college for about a minute and a half.  Realizing that this wasn't quite what I wanted at the time, I quit and looked for work.  Finally, after several months, I was hired to work in a dental office as an assistant.  This office, for some reason, was the one recommended whenever any of the students at the university needed dental work.  The university is (and was) a world-class engineering school and attracted students from all over the world.  One day, I had one of these foreign students as a patient.

I don't remember the young man's name--and it doesn't really matter in the telling of this story.  While waiting for the dentist to come in and do an exam, I tried to make the young man comfortable and less nervous.  We began talking.  I found out that he was from Kuwait and that he was to return home shortly, after getting his degree.  His country was paying for him to attend school, as they did for anyone who wanted an education.  The only stipulation was that they must return home after getting their degrees.  He either said, or implied, that money was very plentiful for him.  While talking, he made a remark about how much he liked blonde hair, indicating my waist-length hair.  For the most part, I was pretty sure I understood everything he was saying, even with his very strong accent.  However, I did do some of the 'smile and nod your head like you understand' thing that most people do when they don't want to ask someone to repeat what they are saying.  It was shortly after that I realized I didn't quite 'get' all that he said, that he was telling me how he was looking for a wife to bring back home to Kuwait with him.  I also realized that he was implying that I would be a good candidate for the job!  It most certainly didn't take me too long to let him know that K was very much in the picture for me and that we were serious about our relationship.  Undeterred, the young man invited me to visit him in Kuwait whenever I wanted.  He promised to give me a camel as a gift if I ever made it to his country.  Obviously, I never made it to Kuwait, but I sure wouldn't have minded having a camel as a pet.  :)

A Little LOL...

I have documented my hearing struggles several times on this blog.  K, on the other hand, doesn't have any (much) hearing loss.  This is quite surprising, considering his father wore a hearing aid and the noisy places K has worked over the years.  One thing he has been SO good about, is using hearing protection--something that he is FANATICAL about.  Even when he mows the lawn or uses the snow blower, he will wear ear plugs.  I never felt the need for ear plugs and I'm sure that is part of my problem.  However, despite K's good hearing, we DO have many conversations like this:

(click on the image to read the entire thing)

And Then My Brain Went For A Walk...

I'm not sure how many people's minds work like mine, but I think mine is rather unique--even if it isn't.  (I like to think of myself as special--it helps my low self esteem.  ;))  Most of the time when I have a quiet moment, my brain will go off on its own and lead me to places I wouldn't dream of going by myself.  I kind of have a game of 'six degrees of separation' going on all of the time and it is quite interesting.  Most of the time when I'm in the shower, my mind takes a break--that is why I'll get out of the shower and not remember whether I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair or not.  And that will lead me to get back IN the shower and re-rinse, just to be sure.  But I digress...

The other night, I was thinking about how most people have a favorite movie, favorite song, favorite actor, etc, etc.  I tried coming up with ONE favorite to fit each category and it just didn't happen.  I tend to have a lot of 'favorites.'  There are a number of movies I will watch over and over again, but not one of them is my absolute 'favorite.'  I could tell you my top 10*--or any random number--movies that I love, but couldn't narrow it down to just one.  So this got my brain to working and I came up with a DIFFERENT way of telling you all of some of my favorites.  So, here goes:

--The first movie I remember sobbing about until I was sick is:

        Brian's Song

I know this was a made-for-TV movie, but it is categorized as a movie, nonetheless.  While other movies have made me cry, this one just did me in--and it continued to make me sob every time I saw it for the next several years.  I watched it again a few years ago and it didn't have the same emotional edge that it had years ago, but it WAS a good crying-time movie.

--The first movie to make me LITERALLY jump when I watched it:

Aliens

This was the first of the Alien movies with Sigourney Weaver and by far the best of the lot.  While Psycho was OMG! frightening--and kept me from showering while alone in the house for YEARS (I STILL have a hard time showering when I'm alone)--Aliens just made me jump right out of my seat.

--The movie that made me fall in love with Al Pacino was:

Serpico

He was so drop-dead gorgeous in this movie!  I had already seen him in 'Panic in Needle Park,' but this movie was why I have the biggest crush on him.

--The first movie I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants AND that I quoted for weeks after:

Young Frankenstein

To this day, I'm not sure I ever laughed as hard at another movie.  And I still haven't found another one with  as many funny quotes as this one had.

And that concludes my very short list.  My brain had to stop its wandering because I was done with my shower--AND I remembered to rinse the conditioner out, so I didn't need to reenter.  This brings a couple of questions for you:  Do you have a favorite movie, or several?  Does your mind take off and invite you along for the ride?  And are you ever afraid your mind WON'T come back when it's done walking around?  ;D

*The movies I will watch over and over again:

Slap Shot

Miracle

Mystery, Alaska

Jeremiah Johnson

Blues Brothers

Animal House

Arsenic and Old Lace

Secondhand Lions

Anatomy of a Murder

Mr Blandings Builds His Dream House

And that is only a partial list.  ;D

Love and Forgiveness

In 1970, the movie 'Love Story' came out and it brought to the world one of the most famous taglines ever:  "Love means never having to say you're sorry."  In our minds, that was one of the most profound and wonderful things that we had ever heard.  Considering we were probably sobbing so hard that our brains were muddled or we were on an acid trip and EVERYTHING seemed wonderful, I can forgive everyone for thinking this.  However, through the years I have come to realize that the statement is just so much bullshit--sounds good and means absolutely nothing.  (Kind of like politicians...)

Let's look at this a little further.  Forgiveness is pretty much part of the foundation of civilization.  We do something wrong--big OR small--and we are expected to feel remorse and ask for forgiveness from the person/people we wronged.  We see this in our courts and we see this on television and we read this in print.  Entire crime/law shows are written just so we can see the criminal allocute in court--and the criminal usually gets a lighter sentence for confessing, feeling remorse, and saying "I'm sorry."  How often have we seen politicians or celebrities take to the airwaves and apologize for saying or doing something the rest of the world sees as wrong?  And then the person usually goes off and continues with his/her career as if s/he did nothing wrong whatsoever--and we allow it because of the "I'm sorry."  (The Chris Brown 'incident/s' come to mind, however, I'm not 100% sure he ever used the words "I'm sorry.")

How often have we been wronged personally?  When our child lashes out at the age of three and slaps us, we INSIST on an apology and a promise to never hit again.  How many more divorces would there be if a spouse never apologized for wrong behavior?  Anything from leaving the wet towels in the middle of the bathroom floor to an affair can be rectified by a heartfelt "I'm sorry and will never do it again."  So, where does the statement "Love means never having to say your sorry." fit into anyone's concept of a loving relationship?

Therapists tell us--and clergy people, as well--that we CAN move forward if someone doesn't apologize for wronging us--we just need to forgive and move on.  This is something I have tried to do with The Family, and while I haven't been able to as of yet, I'm working on it.  To forgive a person's bad behavior when s/he doesn't think s/he did anything wrong takes a very strong person.  (I haven't become that strong, yet.)  We always like to have our feelings validated, that we were hurt in some way--and when the person doing the hurting doesn't see this, it minimalizes our feelings and shows just how little the wrongful person feels for us.  Causing hurt and pain to another person DEMANDS an apology and when that doesn't happen, how can a relationship continue in a loving way?  Instead of "Love means never having to say you're sorry" it should read "Love is saying you're sorry--and MEANING it."

A Favorite Recipe

Everyone has a favorite food that MUST be prepared for the holidays.  Whenever we serve ham, this is something that I have to make to go with it--and I believe there would be a total rebellion if I ever forgot.  This was my m-i-l's recipe and I have--without guilt--appropriated it as my own.

MUSTARD SAUCE
(you can 1/2 this recipe and it works out just fine)

1 cup vinegar
1 cup sugar
1 can tomato soup (I ALWAYS use Campbell's)
1 cup mustard
6 egg yolks

Cook--stirring with a wire whisk--until thickened, using a double boiler.  When cooked thoroughly, remove from heat and stir in 1/2 cup butter.  Store in covered container in refrigerator.  Serve warm or cold.


Many people don't know what to do with this sauce when they first see it--and a lot will never make it without tasting it first.  To explain this the best I can is that this is a sort of sweet-and-sour type of sauce.  As I said, we use it as a topping for ham, but many people use it other ways.  This can be used in sandwiches--ham or otherwise--and as a dipping sauce for chicken fingers, for example.  I will dip pretzels in this sauce, also.  There is an unlimited amount of ways this sauce can be used--try it and see if you like it as much as we do.

Another Step Toward Old Age

I believe everyone gets a little hard of hearing as they age.  Just as the rest of the body doesn't stand up to time, neither do the ears/eardrums.  And things go south rather quickly when there was a problem to begin with, as it is with me.  Until about seven years or so, I never knew that I had a hearing problem that quite possibly has been with me since I was young.  While I passed all of my hearing tests in elementary school, I never had a hearing test again until seven years ago, so I have no idea how long things have been going bad.  A genetic problem+aging=needing to look for a solution.

Yesterday I went for an appointment with the ear specialist and the first thing that was done was the hearing test.  And things are just a bit worse than they were seven years ago.  And both the doctor and audiologist say it is time for me to get help.  Now comes my search for the proper hearing aid/s.

I've done some research and am completely confused--there are a lot of different hearing aids out there.  And they are EXPENSIVE!  I don't think I will be able to get ONE for less than $1500!  Yikes.  And, of course, insurance companies don't pick up even part of the tab for these things.  >:-(  But, if the need is there, we will do what has to be done.  And I think I really need to get one/two of these gadgets.

One good thing about needing an aid these days is that they are VERY different from what my great-grandmother had to use.  Her hearing aid was about the size of a cigarette pack--she had pockets sewed into her undershirts so the aid could be placed there--and the earphone was attached by a cord.  There was no disguising this thing, even if you had long hair.  Today, hearing aids are pretty invisible--even the ones that sit outside of the ear.  While I would want one that sits in the ear canal completely, I probably would be best served by the type that sits on the top of the ear, with the main part behind the ear and a small wire going to the ear canal.  But, until I see a hearing aid specialist, I won't know what I'll end up with.  {sigh}

If it isn't apparent, I'm not looking forward to this and have been putting it off far too long.  (I was told it was my decision seven years ago as to whether or not I wanted to try aids.)  While I would LOVE to be able to hear well, I just don't want to get aids.  For someone who is completely NOT vain, the thought of wearing something that SCREAMS that I'm getting older just kills me.  This is so unlike me and I'm trying to get a grip--but I'm not succeeding.  I have varicose veins, I wear reading glasses, I have wrinkles, I'm very overweight, and I groan when I move my joints, yet hearing aids are what are going to make me feel old and depressed.  An attitude adjustment is definitely in my future.  And being able to hear well WILL prevent things like this from happening:

:D

****I do realize that I sound ridiculous, terrible, and ungrateful.  I know there are people who would be so happy to have my problem and I should be thankful that my problems are not worse than they are.  I apologize for my bad attitude and WILL get over this.  Bear with me, please.****

And Furthermore...

To give a little perspective on the last post:

The town I grew up in had 960 people.  The town K grew up in had less.  Our graduating class had less than 50 kids.  Our ENTIRE high school--grades 6-12--had LESS kids than The Youngest's graduating class.  The biggest town closest to us--8 miles down the road--had less than 10,000 people in it.  So, as you can see, a city with almost 25,000 people was/is big time for us.  ;)

I almost freaked out when we went to see Eric Clapton because the Xcel Center--where the concert was--held at least 25,000.  The entire population of our city could have fit in the place and still there would have been seats left empty.  Is it a wonder I get a little panic attack whenever we go to REAL cities?  ;)

Living In A Small Town--Otherwise Known As 'The Police Log'

I've mentioned the we live in a small city--population somewhere in the 20,000-25,000 range.  This is the most populous city in the UP, but still, as far as most people are concerned, this is a small town.  For anyone familiar with my on-going 'police log' posts, you can tell just by the subject matter that we are nowhere close to big city-type problems here.  And as I've said before, I'm very okay with that.  However, the problems we DO have make for some amusing reading.  These are some police logs that I collected over the past few weeks:

--2:00 AM, Subject reported footprints leading to his front porch, along with missing white plastic chair;  footprints followed, no chair observed at suspected residence.
I'm certain this HAS to be a little old man with too much time on his hands.

--1:19 PM, Suspicious items found in woods;  nothing suspicious, small animal remains.
MORE people/person with too much time on their hands.

--4:12 PM, Men reported lying on ice and in a rubber boat;  OK, ice rescue training.
This completely perplexes me.  We have a Coast Guard station here and we ALWAYS witness rescue training.  Again, some people have too much time on their hands...

--8:07 PM, Complaint of drug use; no one would answer the door.
???

--10:44 PM, Deceased black and white cat placed into freezer at Department of Public Works.
I'm assuming they are waiting for it to be claimed by the owner/s?

--1:04 PM, Snow left on bike path from sled dog races.
Oooooookay!?!?

--3:42 PM, Suspicious subject behind the counter at a closed business;  all OK, worker installing countertops.
The joys of living in a small town where everyone pokes their noses into everyone's business.  ;)

And the best was saved for last:

--9:40 PM, Possible breaking and entering in progress;  noise heard was borrowed alarm clock.
Do I even NEED to comment?  :D

At Least I Thought It Was Interesting...

Quite an interesting article here.

The first time I heard/read of hair receivers ^ and human hair jewelry was when I was much, much younger.  I'm sure they were referenced in some Victorian-set novel that I read.  I found the whole thing rather fascinating, probably because I--like anyone else my age (males included)--had very long hair at the time.  It has been years since this subject crept into my mind, but with the interwebs at our fingertips, strange and intriguing subjects are always just a click away.  And for some reason, this subject came to me a couple of weeks ago.

Hair receivers were a common item on a woman's dressing table during the Victorian era.  Most women never cut their hair at the time and hair was considered a woman's crowning glory.  Also, women were taught to brush their hair 100 strokes every evening, so there was quite a bit of hair floating around.  All of this led to hair receivers--a place for a woman to put the hair she removed from her brush.  The hair was then gathered up to make 'poufs' (rats) for hairstyles, stuffing for pillows, or jewelry.  By the Roaring Twenties, this fad had pretty much played itself out--most likely because women were bobbing their hair and there wasn't product to use anymore.

The most interesting part of all of this 'saving of the hair,' is the hair jewelry.  Human hair watch fobs, necklaces, bracelets, brooches were all commonplace.  (Hair also was used in 'mourning jewelry'--a way to remember a loved one who passed and keep a part of him/her with you always.)  Today there are collections in museums showing some of the work that was done with hair in the past--such as here.  (There are quite a few articles to read, should one be interested.  As usual, do a Google search.  ;))

Human hair necklace that is part of the collection at the Minnesota Historical Society.

For some reason or other, human hair jewelry creeps me out.  I understand and have no problem with human hair wigs, but the thought of wearing jewelry made out of someone's hair just doesn't seem right.  While some the examples I've seen are quite lovely, I don't want any--even anything made from my OWN hair would give me the willies.  And, of course, there are people trying to bring back the craft--again, search Google.  OR you can go here to see what is happening in the world of hair jewelry today.  I did find the prices that people were selling their hair for quite amazing--hundreds of dollars, as a matter of fact.  However, when/if I cut my almost waist-length hair again, I believe I will just donate it to Locks of Love or something of that nature.  I most definitely don't need to be selling my hair for profit just so someone can wear it on their wrist.

Updating...

Wow, it has been a while since I last posted.  Even though not that much interesting stuff has happened, I will still do an update.

The last time I posted, I was prepping for a colonoscopy.  Last Monday morning, I went in and had the procedure done and it went very well.  After having to go through the prep, the thing I worried about most was having the IV inserted, but the nurse who did it was WONDERFUL and I barely felt the needle go in.  I knew NOTHING after about 30 seconds of the Demerol and Versed* being put into the IV--unfortunately, I didn't know too much for the next couple days, either.  Demerol leaves me with a terrible drug hangover--it always has.  So, I slept through Monday, Tuesday, and part of Wednesday.  Actually, I didn't feel 'like myself' again until this past weekend.  But, I got the results and everything was fine--with the exception of finding one polyp and I continue to have my 'Preparation H' issues.  Because the polyp was the type that doesn't become cancerous, I won't need to go back again for another 10 years.  YAY!  I left the hospital with a handful of papers, one of which had three pictures that were taken during the procedure:  one of the very top of my colon, one of my polyp, and one of my other 'issue.'  Now I have more inappropriate pics for a bathroom gallery, should I decide to do one.  ;)

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So, for whatever reason, last week was my time to have medical procedures done.  On Wednesday, I went and had my mammograms.  As far as medical tests are concerned, mammograms are one of the easiest to go through.  I have always been pretty lucky with the techs who have done my mammograms, as they have caused me very little discomfort.  I know some women have a difficult time, but it has always been rather straight forward for me.  And things are even faster and easier than they ever were with the new digital imaging equipment that our hospital now has--I was in and out within 30 minutes.  You can't ask for any better than that.

**********

I don't know how many people pay much attention to the weather in other parts of the country from where they live.  But if you HAD heard about us last week, you would have found out that winter paid a visit--pretty much for the first time all season.  The last weekend of February found us getting hit by tons of wet, heavy snow and then last Wednesday we got another dump-on.  In total, we got somewhere in the neighborhood of two feet of snow in a few days.  While some areas did experience power outages, things went pretty well here in the UP.  Of course, school was called off for most of the peninsula for most of last week and some of the days it seemed like the entire UP was closed for the duration.  But as much as it wanted to be winter still, the calendar just doesn't support it--the last couple of days have had very spring-like temps and a good amount of the snow has melted already.  This, of course, has brought new problems: lots and lots of running and standing water.  K had to put the dehumidifier going in the basement because of how wet it is.  Oh, joy.

**********

Of course, just as the temperatures are heating up, K had to get sick.  Yesterday he started feeling pretty lousy and it seemed as if he was getting a sinus infection.  Unfortunately, he wasn't able to see the doctor until today and I think the delay in medical attention let this get hold of him and he's much worse than he would need to be.  BUT, I'm very thankful that the doctor gave him antibiotics, despite the CDC saying they do nothing for sinus infections.  I really am having a very hard time with this ruling by the CDC.  Is there anyone who has ever had a sinus infection that HASN'T gotten better, quickly, as soon as they are put on antibiotics?  Before I started on allergy meds, I would get at least two sinus infections a year.  Whether I went to see the doctor after two days or a week--sometimes I tried to fight it off by myself--I was much, much better within 24 hours of starting on meds.  I'm not understanding this, at all and this is definitely something I will have to get straight with my doctor.  Or I will just have to not get another sinus infection for the rest of my life.  ;)

**********

Other than the temperatures, I'm seeing other signs of spring coming.  These days, a lot of my time is spent watching a grey squirrel build a nest.  Well, I can't actually see the nest itself because it is in the topmost branches of our neighbor's tall fir tree, but I watch the critter gathering nesting materials.  Just before the snow came, I saw the squirrel running through our backyard while carrying a newspaper-sized piece of  newsprint.  Even though I saw it with my own eyes, I'm still not sure how the squirrel managed to get that paper up the tree.  And a couple of days later, it did the exact same thing with MORE newsprint.  I can't imagine where the paper was coming from.  I also saw it bring a few mouthfuls of dead leaves up the tree.  Today I watched as the squirrel ran around our yard 'fluffing' the dried, dead grass in several places.  It then went back to each spot and stuffed its mouth full of the grass and went up the tree.  At the rate this nest is being built and the amount of material going into it, the thing will be as big as an eagle's nest before we know it!  One thing I'm betting on, though, with all this building going on is that I WILL get to see baby squirrels this year.  That might prove quite interesting.  

I also got to see my first chipmunk of the season today--a sight that DID NOT make me happy.  I wonder if the squirrels might drive away the chipmunks?  Not my luck, though.

**********

We received very big news here in this area a couple of days ago.  Our hospital here in town--which is a regional medical facility--is being purchased by Duke Lifepoint Healthcare.  Not only is this supposed to improve healthcare, but they are talking of adding 64 new doctors in the next five years. They are also proposing to construct a new state-of-the-art outpatient surgical center and other improvements to the hospital.  While the thoughts of many new jobs being created by this acquisition is much welcome, the biggest change to this city will be the hospital going from a non-profit, non-tax paying status to a for-profit, tax paying entity.  The boost to the tax base of our city will be phenomenal.  And I certainly hope and pray that this comes to fruition.

********** 

*While the Demerol/Versed combo for sedation works wonders, if you ever need sedation like this, ask for Propofol instead.  From what I understand, you are back into the land of the living within 30 minutes of the procedure being finished.  I believe the reason Propofol isn't quite as widely used as the cocktail I had is because Propofol has to be administered by an anesthesiologist, whereas the cocktail can be given by an RN.  Also, I guess there is a shortage of Propofol right now because it is the drug of choice if there IS a choice.