Wednesday, September 22, 2010

NOT A Vacation Post

I'm really feeling tired tonight, so I will continue with the rest of my vacation pictures tomorrow.  But, I HAD to write about this.

Tonight I went to do some shopping and while I was at Walmart, there was a kid in the middle of the store having the worlds worst tantrum.  This kid was screaming and stomping and the whole nine yards.  And even though I didn't know the particulars about what set him off, I wanted to beat him to within an inch of his life! And then I wanted to beat his mother!

Okay, I realize kids have meltdowns all the time for different reasons.  And I can understand and sympathize.  However, this kid had a voice that came close to fingernails on a chalkboard in terms of being annoying.  He kept screaming that he didn't want to leave the store because he was hungry.  At one point I believe he screamed at his mother that she was being mean to him and that he would 'tell' on her to someone.  And this went on for 15 minutes, at least.  And what was the mother trying to do about the situation?  She was trying to reason with the kid.  She did NOT physically remove him from the store, she did NOT sternly tell him to shut the f*** up, she did NOT swat his butt.  I know, I know, if she would have done any of those things, she probably would have been arrested.  But still, she needed to deal with this situation in a much better way than trying to 'reason' with the kid.  The kid had no desire to be reasoned with and it was doing no amount of good.  Actually, the more the mother tried 'talking' to him, the worse he got.  The whole thing gave me a massive headache.

Now, all of us who have kids have been through similar situations--there is no avoiding it.  But, I sometimes think that many people could completely avoid these things if they planned ahead.  First, DON'T take your kid shopping too late at night.  They probably are tired and WILL misbehave.  (It was almost 10:00 PM, on a school night, when this one took place.)  Second, DON'T take your kid shopping when he/she is hungry.  Feed them a meal before leaving the house.  (Obviously, this kid was hungry, because he kept screaming it to his mother.)  And DON'T keep them shopping for things they have no interest in for too long.  Kids have short attention spans and they WILL let you know, loudly, that they are bored and not pleased.  But I think the best piece of advice I could give to a parent is this:  KNOW that this will happen and be prepared.  Figure out ahead of time what you will do when your kid has a meltdown--and then follow your plan when 'it' happens.


leazwell said...

If only more people had CS.

Love your vacation pics!

meleah rebeccah said...

Ugh! I cant stand when I see a kid in a store flipping out and a parent with no control over the situation.

leazwell said...

I see you are reading "Pillars..." me too - just started it. Jack has set fire to Kingsbridge Cathedral.

cmk said...

I REALLY hate to bash moms who are having a bad time with their kids--heaven knows, I had enough problems with mine--but there just are certain things you DON'T do. We had to quit going to every restaurant with our oldest--even McDonald's--cause we didn't want other people to be bothered by our kid. It just is COMMON SENSE to do/not do some things. >:(

leazwell: Yes, I'm reading Pillars. I have THREE books going right now, so I find myself trying to get one of the others out of the way before going back to it. I bought Pillars for my NOOK after watching the mini-series on TV--and if I would have seen the hard-copy version of it first, I don't know if I WOULD have gotten it: the damn thing is LONG! ;) It is a very fast read, however, and I am enjoying the book more than the movie--even if they did do an excellent job of translating it to film.

ordinaryjanet said...

Maybe that time of night was the only time the mom could go shopping, and she couldn't leave the kid home alone. I wonder if the kid really was hungry or if he was just saying that. I'd like to know how the tantrum ended...if it ended at all. They should show videos of public tantrums in health class in school, maybe that would help with unplanned pregnancies. Of course, everyone thinks "my kid won't be like that".

My friend tried to get me to read "Pillars" and after almost a year, I finally did. I was put off by its length, but you're right, it reads quickly, and it was one of those books that I hated to have end, I wanted it to go on.

cmk said...

That's why I said I hate to bash moms when they are having issues with their kids--there could always be extenuating circumstances. And the kid could have just been a brat and used everything in his arsenal to get his way. But, the mom should have had a plan and stuck with it--negotiating with him at that point was useless. And that's why the tantrum lasted as long as it did--she just wasn't strong and firm enough with him. I DEFINITELY believe that the more high school kids can be exposed to these sorts of things, the less likely they are to do something stupid and have kids too early. But then again, hormones aren't usually compatible with common sense thinking. :)

After I finish Pillars I will have to seriously think about the sequel to it, World Without End. It takes place two hundred years after Pillars ends--and it is another monster-sized book. I think it will take me some time to commit to that size book again. :)