Ridiculous, Bizarre Fear

I am a neurotic--I freely admit that.  I probably should be in therapy five days a week--I freely admit THAT.  However, for the most part, I don't think I'm much worse off than most people are--except, possibly, when it comes to my fears.  All I have to do is THINK about stinging insects--bees, yellow jackets, wasps, etc--or being in the middle of a lake/ocean and I can cause myself to have a full-blown panic attack--a panic attack that makes my heart race, my blood pressure go up, my breath to become rapid, my stomach to start churning.  JUST by thinking about my fears, I could make myself faint.  But still, I don't think I'm all that different than a lot of people--until I admit to one very ridiculous, bizarre fear.  For years, whenever I'm near my washing machine when it goes into the spin cycle, I worry that the agitator--or another piece of the machine--will break off, fly through the side of the machine, and cut me in half--killing me in the process, of course.  THAT is bizarre.  (This doesn't keep me from doing laundry, however--I just suck it up and stay away from the washer during the spin cycle.  :D)

Police Log

And for your amusement:

--11:50 PM, possible domestic disturbance;   no domestic disturbance, trying to give their dog a bath

I have nothing...no words at all.

My New Toy

I LOVE tech gadgets.  I always want to have the fastest, the best, the newest, etc, etc, etc.  I learned my lesson about that after purchasing my first Dell, but that's another story.  While my newest toy is one of the newest and best, it will be obsolete before I know it--so I will enjoy the hell out of it while I can.  And what is my newest toy?  My HTC Inspire smartphone!

And my feelings about this gorgeous piece of technology?  WOW.  Just WOW.

I have had a cell phone since 1996 and bought a Nokia every time I got a new one.  I LOVE Nokia products, but as phones got to be 'smarter,' Nokia wasn't keeping up--at least in North America.  (They have AMAZING phones that you can get/use in Europe, but for the most part, they are unavailable here.  And if you can get them here, the cost is prohibitive.)  It got to the point where I was using a phone that seemed like it was made for the 20th, not 21st, century.  I was beginning to feel left out when everyone else could surf the net and play games and get all sorts of 'apps' for their phones and my phone did little more than make phone calls.  (Really though, what is a phone for, right?  ;))  But I was jealous and wanted what everyone else had, so I started my research.  My contract wasn't up until August, so I had plenty of time to decide on my next phone.  I searched the interwebs and talked to people.  I read magazine articles and listened to talking heads.  I looked into Blackberry, Windows, AND Android phones.  They all had something to offer, but I liked what Android had the best.  And going with an Android phone meant I was part of the crowd and could have what I envied others having.  ;)  Besides, my carrier had some of the top-rated Android phones there are.  Then I was offered an early upgrade from my carrier and I was off and running.  I picked up my phone last Wednesday and I have been as happy as a pig in mud ever since!

I honestly don't think that the iPhone is better than what I have.  It is different, but I believe they are pretty equivalent.  A lot of people will point out that the iPhone has "SOOOOOOOO many more apps than Android does," but I say "So what?"  Yes, Apple might have 25 'fart' apps and Android only has 15, but I don't want any of them, so it doesn't matter.  With the apps that I CAN get--and I'm not even talking about the ones that ATT won't allow to be side-loaded--I am completely overwhelmed.  So far, I have found everything that I WANT and everything I NEED--and they have ALL been free.  When it comes to the 'free' part, I don't think iPhone owners can say the same--but I will retract that statement if I am misunderstanding something that I read.  With being able to have the apps that I want, I basically carry around a little computer in my pocket whenever I leave the house.  I have my email, my Twitter, my Facebook, my blogs--everything that I used to have to sit in front of the computer to do, I now can do anywhere I go.  And I thought the laptop gave me freedom!

So, for now I am one happy camper--I finally have the phone I should have gotten a long time ago.  I will use this thing to death.  But, I am already beginning to research the next one I buy.  I'm never satisfied, I guess.  ;)

Funny...Or Not?

In many instances, I have a very black, warped, macabre sense of humor.  My favorite comic of all time is/was Gary Larson's 'Far Side'--strange creatures doing weird things.  Hysterical.  Since Larson gave up writing his comic, there has been a black hole in my life that hasn't been filled--until now.  'Bunny Suicides' has filled that hole.

'Bunny Suicides' is all about rabbits trying--or succeeding--to kill themselves.  And the methods they use are quite funny.  Many of them have a very Rube Goldberg feel to them.  While some of the strips are cringe-worthy--really, who wants to see a cute little bunny have his head chopped off--most of them have me chuckling hysterically.  The 'Bunny Suicides' calendar is now the one I get for my kitchen every year.  Yes, I'm sick.

Here are a few of the strips:

 

So, I ask again, are these funny...or not?


*For more, you can go here.

Busy, Busy

Last week was, for me, a very, very busy one.  Something seemed to be going on every single day--and a lot of good stuff happened.

On Monday, K had his annual physical.  Everything is going well, his 'numbers' are fine, he is still losing weight--slow and steady--and there just doesn't seem to be any problems.  YIPPEE!!  Now, if the nephrologist gives him the exact same report when he sees him in August, then I will truly be relieved.  Hopefully, with all things pointed in the 'good' direction, he can avoid that 'almost certain' kidney transplant that was predicted he would need at some time in the future.  Fingers crossed.

On Tuesday, I went and pampered myself with a hair appointment.  I LOVE getting my hair 'done'--it is so relaxing.  I wish I had someone that would come in and do my hair every day--and by 'do,' I mean wash it, as I don't 'do' anything to my hair other than combing.  After the appointment, I decided to go and see about getting myself a new cell phone.  The girl I talked to was so adorable and we talked for a good thirty minutes before I said "I'll take it home today!"  She was back in the storeroom forever and when she came out, she had to tell me they were all out of the phone I wanted.  ACK!  She said they get shipments in daily and would call if my phone came in.

Wednesday started with no phone call about my phone.  BUMMER.  I was scheduled for an appointment with my dermatologist, so I hauled my ass to the medical center for that.  I found out that the doctor was NOT leaving the area as I had been told--I'm SO happy that I don't need to go looking for another new doctor.  I wanted some cortisone injections in a few of my 'spots,' but she is no longer allowed to use the lidocaine spray to numb the skin--it is against the law because of CFCs.  So, I have to go through the process of using lidocaine cream in order to get my skin numbed enough for me to want to be 'stuck' numerous times with a needle.  UGH.  Anyway, I was sent for my annual chest x-ray--because I'm still on Enbrel--and got that taken care of.  Then I moseyed on down to my internist's office to inquire about blood work--I have an appointment coming up next week and needed to know.  Yes, I needed it done and I was able to have the blood draw right then, as I didn't need to do a fast ahead of time.  Happily, that saved me a trip!  The biggest surprise to my trip to the medical center was this:  from the minute I left our driveway to the time I got back, only one hour and five minutes had passed!  I don't think I have ever gotten through ANYTHING medical in such a quick fashion.

Happily, when I got into the house, there was a message telling me that my new phone was waiting for me at the store!  YAY!!!!  I got an HTC Inspire and it is quite possibly one of the greatest pieces of technology I have ever purchased.  I am having so much fun with it and will do a post about it later this week.  After a few more stops for shopping, I got home for a night of hockey.  And the Red Wings won their series in a sweep and have been able to sit back and heal while waiting for the rest of the teams to get finished with the first round.  A great, great day all around.

Thursday found me back to the salon for a manicure and pedicure--another day of pampering!  I got my first shellac manicure and it is absolutely awesome!  The polish is put on in four different coats and each coat is dried with a UV light.  It is guaranteed to last without chipping for fourteen days--and a lot of women go much longer between manicures.  If there was no outgrowth, you could go a month without needing your nails to be redone!  I'm now on day three and it looks like I had my nails done just minutes ago.  I'm loving this.

We took one of our regular road trips on Friday.  While I didn't buy a whole lot, the shopping went well.  We found ourselves at a Korean sushi restaurant for dinner that evening--our friends wanted us to try it.  Anyone who has read this blog for a while knows that I am a very unadventurous eater, so this was quite an experience for me.  I just couldn't bring myself to eat sushi, but I did have bulgogi and kimchi and Korean potato salad.  I tasted K's tempura and FELL. IN. LOVE!  ANYTHING that is battered and deep fried is alright in my book!  I am looking forward to going back to the restaurant and the next time I even think I WILL try the sushi.  And FYI:  sake is powerful and a good sedative.  :)

On Saturday, we finished up our shopping and came home.  Today, we had a very quiet day of playoff hockey and rest.  And this week we will be going up to see the grandkids and bring The Mother her birthday gift.  I believe that will be the extent of what we need to do.  All in all, a good string of days.  :)  And then the second round of the playoffs will start toward the end of the week and I get to be all stressed all over again.

Good Idea, or BAD?(tm)

Today, let's play a rousing round of the game I call Good Idea, or BAD?(tm)*  And here we go:

JumpSnap

You need to exercise...you want a good cardio workout...and the first thing you think of is: ROPELESS JUMP ROPE!  Well, maybe not.  Didn't we all jump rope as kids?  And didn't we all use a rope to do so?  Why do we need to go ropeless now?  AND pay $39.95+$9.95 shipping and handling for NOT having a rope to jump with?  The people selling the JumpSnap want you to pay for the privilege of jumping rope WITHOUT the rope.

While a person could possibly get the same kind of usage out of a homemade equivalent of this, I DO see the advantages--after a lot of thought.  See, I am a klutz.  The thoughts of me trying to jump rope these days has visions of extended hospital stays for me going through my mind.  I DO believe I would be someone who could benefit from having one of these--but NOT at the price of $50!

So, Good Idea, or BAD?(tm)


BARELIFTS

 

As I have said before, I HATE BRAS!  I would do just about anything to never have to wear one ever again.  Unfortunately, my body will not cooperate in this matter.  (Here is a picture of my body--you decide whether I'm telling the truth, or not.  :))  So, any product that would help me towards my ultimate wish is something I will look at more than once.  BareLifts are supposed to be such a product.  Little, adhesive pieces of whatever that you use to 'lift' your boobs into place.

This product intrigues me.  And for more reasons than the 'not wearing a bra' one.  ANYTHING that will 'lift the girls' and give me a (slightly) more youthful look is something I WANT.  I AM skeptical about whether these would work--especially for someone that is overly large--like me--AND hanging quite low, but I may have to try them.  And considering I can get these on Amazon for less than $5, I just may have to order them.

So, Good Idea, or BAD?(tm)


BETTER MARRIAGE BLANKET
(I'll let you read the description of this product, yourself.)

 

I just don't know what to say about this one.  If this 'condition' is such a big problem in your life, I would imagine a visit to the doctor is in order.  I really see no sense in spending $79.95+ (plus shipping and handling) to 'fix' this, when a little bit of courtesy would go a long way toward making everyone happy.

So, Good Idea, or BAD?(tm)


CUCHINI

Wow.  Just wow.  Is this something that is needed?  Or am I too old to see the benefit of this product?  My feeling:  If you are having a problem with camel toe, start wearing clothes that are the correct size/fit properly!  The rare times this problem comes into play for me, are when I'm wearing clothes that are too tight or ill fitting.  Am I right?  For me, DEFINITELY not worth $16.95+$7.95 shipping and handling.

So, Good Idea, or BAD?(tm)


And that's the end of today's game.   Thank you for playing along and hope you come back the next time we play GOOD IDEA, OR BAD?(tm)



*I've decided to try and trademark this game--maybe this will be my way of making millions of dollars.  :D





 

Vengeance Is Mine

"Vengeance is mine...saith the Lord."  Romans 12:19

I don't get all religious and stuff here, and I'm not about to with this post.  However, the quote brings me right to the the heart of what I want to say.

One of The Mother's aunts was possibly my favorite aunt of all time.  The woman was the oldest of all of her siblings and her daughter was older than The Mother by 10 years or more.  The Aunt was quite a rebel in her day:  She was a flapper in the 20s and was the first (?) in the family to ever be divorced.  She married a second time and outlived him by so many years, that I don't ever remember meeting the man.  She lived most of her life in Detroit and 'came home' after she retired.  She lived with her bachelor brother in the family home and stayed there after he died.  With failing health, she wound up back in Detroit with her daughter for her last days.  I loved the woman like a grandmother.

The biggest thing I remember about my aunt was her coming to The Family home on Social Security payday.  She would stay the night and go and do all of her banking business the following day.  She always stayed with me in my bedroom, which had a small bed/cot for her to sleep in.  School days were very hard for me when she spent the night, as the woman snored like a truck driver.  I don't know if I ever got more than a couple of hours of sleep whenever she stayed the night.  I'm not sure I ever had been as angry in my young life as I would be whenever she came down to the kitchen in the morning and complained about 'not sleeping a wink all night.'  Whenever she said that, I was as close to decking her--or any of my aunts/uncles--as ever.  I'm sure I slept through most of the school day in these situations.  Fun memories.  ;)

My aunt had one big 'flaw'--she was an alcoholic.  While living with her daughter in Detroit--both before and after her retirement--I believe she was dry, or mostly, anyway.  Her being drunk would NOT have gone well with her daughter and her husband--they were EXTREMELY religious and wouldn't have stood for it.  However, when she moved in with her brother--who also was an alcoholic--the booze was back in her life big time.  She drank a lot before her health turned and she moved back downstate.  It was a big disappointment to me and it saddened me to no end--but you can't stop drinking FOR someone else, they have to do it on their own.  She just wanted to live her life in an alcoholic fog as her days came to their close.  Very sad.

Visiting with my aunt was a great deal of fun.  (NOT counting the times she was drunk, of course.)  She had led a fascinating life which was awesome AND funny.  We always had a good time talking about the things that happened in the family over the years--and we usually wound up laughing until we cried.  She had done some unbelievably ridiculous things in her day and they always brought us to our knees, clutching our stomachs while laughing, whenever she regaled us with her stories.  I still miss her today--some 30 years after she died.

Okay, I didn't mean for this post to be so rambling or so serious.  My entire point was to show how I am an example of our Lord's 'vengeance.'  One thing that my aunt did was complain about her knees--ALL. OF. THE. TIME.  They ALWAYS hurt her and she groaned and moaned about them constantly.  She NEVER went to see a doctor about them, of course, so we (read that as The Mother and me), never QUITE believed her.  We would talk about how she couldn't possibly be as bad off as she 'pretended' and we would scoff at her, a lot.  We ALWAYS would say that we'd probably pay for our laughing at her some day, but then we would laugh THAT off, too.  Boy, have I learned my lesson.  I find myself having bad knees that get worse every year.  Of course, I try to ignore the problem and say it all is age or weight related--and I, too, have not said a word to any of my doctors.  I know it won't make much of a difference, as I am just getting pay-back for the way I used to view my aunt.  :D


***I know I will have to address my knees one of these days--and I very much may need replacement surgery sometime down the road.  Right now, I'm determined to 'help' myself by losing weight first and seeing how I do.  Also, I'm not too sure that part of my problem isn't arthritis--having psoriasis, I am at risk for having psoriatic arthritis and THAT I will discuss with my dermatologist when I see her next week.  But, I'm pretty much sure it is my destiny to have 'bad knees.'  :)

We'd Rather Have The Money

My husband, K, is one of the last of a dying breed:  He will retire from the only place he has ever worked.  (While he WAS in the Navy, I don't really consider that a job--more of a school/training sort of thing.  AND a way to pay the country back.)  So, he has put in over 30 years at the same power plant he was hired into a few months after he got out of the Navy.  The job is one that he likes and the pay has been good enough that I never had to go out and work.  As far as employers are, K hasn't complained too much, nor has he piled praise--it just is what it is.

A lot of work places have taken the direction that many schools have and that is to reward everyone for everything.  "You did SUCH a good job of washing your hands after using the toilet!  Here's a certificate for that!"  "You got here on time for FIVE days in a row!  Here's your gold ribbon for that!"  And on and on and on.  Don't get me wrong, I think it's good that people are appreciated, but sometimes companies go a bit far--like rewarding employees for doing what they SHOULD do, their normal jobs.  Yesterday, K got one of those rewards.

Working in a power plant can be very dangerous.  There have been severe accidents that could possibly have been avoided.  Many things can go wrong:  explosions, electrocutions, falls, etc.  And it is up to every worker to do everything in his/her power to do right and not have an accident, or cause one.  The company pounds safety into the employees' heads at every opportunity, which isn't a bad thing.  Unless it is because the company is more concerned about how much they would have to pay an employee if he/she was injured rather than the health and safety of the workers.  And sometimes I think it is just that. 

Anyway, the company is constantly giving safety rewards.  We will get $10 gift certificates and the crew will get pizza bought for them.  And they are appreciated, but not really necessary.  However, the reward that came home yesterday just kind of made all the employees who got it say "WTF?"  In a nice enough presentation box--faux velvet-lined, black with gold lettering--was a (solidly nice, I suppose) key chain and a laminated card stating safety 'rules' to be worn on the id card lanyard every employee wears.  Okay.  While a lot of people would wonder what the problem here is, let me tell you.  First, everyone thought the laminated cards were completely ridiculous.  Next, not everyone wants a key chain with the company logo embossed in it--no matter HOW nice it is.  Besides, who DOESN'T have about thirteen key chains laying around that they don't use already.  And last, WHY the hell the special presentation boxes?  While the company gets them at a good price, I would suppose, these are not all that cheap--so why?  I guess the bottom line is this:  Why spend all of this money on something that no one wants or can possibly appreciate?  I think most of the employees would much rather have a couple extra bucks in their paychecks, rather than some of this stuff that the company gives.

So, is this wrong to feel this way?  Is this a waste of money on the part of the company?  Are the employees just being completely ungrateful?  Input would be appreciated.

Police Log

I'm hoping this is a good sign of being a banner year for the police logs--we've got another one!

--9:40 PM, report of male subject standing naked in his window while people walk by on bike path

EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!  Unless he has a nice six-pack, of course.  ;)  (You know you all were thinking the same thing.  :D)

So, I'm A Bitch

 For those who have never seen this, enjoy.  For those who know this well, it is always good to see it again.  :D


When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts, or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch entails raising my children to be strong people who have a solid sense of personal and social responsibility, who are not afraid to stand up for what they believe in and who love and respect themselves for the beautiful beings they are.

Being a bitch means that I am free to be the wonderful creature that I am, with all my own intricacies, contradictions, quirks and beauty.

Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me. When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak up against it, I am defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish. I am proud to be a bitch! It means I have the courage & strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.

I am outspoken, opinionated, and determined. By God, I want what I want, and there is nothing wrong with that!

So, try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed. And, if that makes me a bitch, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.
 



***I apologize to whoever wrote this originally--I can't give you credit.  I found this reprinted as a comment someone left at a blog.

Police Log

Can you believe it?  I have another one for you!

--4:25 PM, report of subjects screaming;  combination of subjects playing video game and drinking too much Mountain Dew

I always said that Dew'll get you!  :D

Spring Has Sprung

I KNOW spring has finally reached our very-northern part of this country.  And it has nothing to do with the grass greening up or tulips/hyacinths/narcissuses growing or warmer temperatures or any other normal spring-type of activity.  No, the reason I KNOW it is spring is because of only one thing:  THEY are back.  Yes, the sheep have made their first appearance of the year.  Spring has finally sprung.  :D

Stupid Pet Owners

I love my cat, but she is, after all, a cat.  She is not my substitute friend, child, significant other--she is my pet and I own her.  (Okay, I am owned by HER, but you get what I'm trying to say.)  Yes, she sleeps anywhere she wants and pretty much does what she wants, but I don't treat her any differently than most people treat their pets.  She eats her food and drinks her water from stainless steel bowls on the floor--unless The Husband lets her drink from the faucet, but that's another story.  I don't buy her fancy collars or clothes.  She doesn't have a house or jungle gym or special bed.  Her toys are rather routine.  And other then brushing and some fur trims, she isn't groomed by a human.  But then there are other people--the stupid pet owners.

I got this email the other day and it explained how people were painting their cats--as in, painting ON their cats so that their fur depicted something else.  Upon further research, I found out that this is a hoax, that it isn't real, and the pictures are photo-shopped.  They are quite neat, though:

One of the reasons why I couldn't believe these were real was simple:  NO cat would sit still long enough for anyone to do this to them.  Although, I don't think it would be that hard to do the first painting, or these:

The book where these pictures are from came out in 2007(?) so I'm certain someone has tried this--it just hasn't caught on.  Yet.

Painting dogs, on the other hand, is something that IS going on.  Poor puppies:

It really is sad to see some of the things we do to our pets.  Thankfully, these are done out of love and really aren't abusive.  Still, all I can think is 'Stupid Pet Owners.'

The Return of the Police Log

I'm sorry, but the police logs in our paper are not back to what they used to be.  Most everything is very dull--well, dully written--and consists of 'failure to pay' and 'report of an intoxicated male' and 'minor in possession' and not much of anything very interesting.  Until today.  Now, it really wasn't written in a very interesting manner, but the incident is interesting.

--11:31 AM, report of a 4- or 5-year-old walking down the street alone smoking a cigarette;  gone on arrival

Okay, I'm not naive enough to think that there aren't 4- or 5-year-old kids that walk down the street smoking, but I highly doubt that is the case in this town.  We do, however, have some dwarfs--is that the politically correct term these days?--and it is more likely that one of them was the 4- or 5-year-old walking down the street smoking.  And I can imagine what prompted the call to the police.  This is what I'm sure happened:

Set scene:  Edna, age 85, is looking out the front window.  She does this for many hours of the day.  Whenever she sees something that could be reportable to the police, her life is full.  Her husband Jacob, age 87, is sitting in his recliner, half asleep, watching CSPAN.

EDNA:  Jake!  Jacob!  Come here.  Someone's kid is walking down the street.  A little child.  Four, maybe five years old!  And he's smoking a cigarette!  Quick Jacob!  I'll bet he's from up the street--you know, the one whose mother is that slut who has men over all the time.  Jacob!  JACOB!  Are you listening to me?!?!  Call the police right now.  This is a disgrace!  Poor little boy.  He needs a better mother than he has.  JACOB!  Call the police!  Hurry, hurry!!!!!

JACOB (in a stupor from being half asleep):  Anything you say, dear.

Jacob dials the phone and reports the smoking child.  End of story.  :D

On Books

I just finished reading the book 'Decision Points' by George W Bush.  I don't necessarily read a lot of non-fiction, but I'm happy I read this--it gave a lot of insight into things Dubya was criticized for during his presidency.  Now, Dubya wasn't my favorite president, but I also don't think he was the Devil incarnate as so many people believe.  (I'll save that designation for an/other president/s.)  I didn't get the feeling that Bush was making excuses with the book, but I did feel as if he tried to set the record straight on some things.  He apologized and admitted mistakes, but he also stood by decisions he made, whether they turned out the way he wanted, or not.  After reading this book, I may have to read more presidents' memoirs--it certainly makes you look at a president differently.  It should be required of all of us to read presidents' memoirs--especially of those presidents we disagreed with.  It would help us to understand some of the pressures the POTUS is under and how difficult a job it really is.  And it might stop some of the horrible things that people say.

**********

These days, I find that my 'go-to' genre of books is 'fantasy.'  However, I'm a bit disconcerted over that particular designation for what I read.  The 'Twilight' Series, Harry Potter, and 'Alice in Wonderland' are all considered 'fantasy.'  The books I read are a bit darker than those.  Not only do the books I read have more blood and gore, but the characters tend to be harsher than the villains in some of the other 'fantasy' books.  A lot of what I read has more demons and monsters--and a lot of what I read seems to have more religious-like themes, good vs evil.  I understand how what I read is considered 'fantasy,' but calling the books such makes them sound much more lightweight than what they are.  While I'm sure there are sub-divisions in the 'fantasy' category, I think the books that I read should be in a category of their own.  However, I don't know what it could possibly be called.

**********

While I haven't been reading as much as I would like, I get a chance to read every day.  Since getting my NOOK and NOOKcolor--yes, I own both--I find that I'm not buying quite as many books.  When I was only buying hard-copy books, I would get them as soon as I saw them.  These days, with my NOOKs, I put whatever books I want on my WishList and then buy as I need.  It is so much nicer to get the books as I want them, rather than stockpiling like I always have done.  No matter what, I will never live long enough to read all of the books I own--whether they are hard-copies or ebooks.