Being Pissy

Yeah, I know my last post had my mis-adventures while peeing in a cup, but this is a different kind of pissy. I have really been in a lousy mood lately--not so much that I'm crabby, just that anything can set me off at any time. And of course, the only one I can go off on is K. (Well, I can get pissed off at the cat, but she just gives me a withering look and turns her back on me.) And, for the most part, he doesn't deserve my moodiness. It isn't so much that I will SAY anything to him, it is just my general lousy attitude right now. Not sure what is going on.

I guess I can put the blame on the time of year. Yes, people, we are coming into that wonderful time called the 'holiday season.' Oh, yay. I have gone on and on at different times about how much I hate the holidays, so I won't do so and bore everyone again. I DO know that part of my problem is the fact that the holidays are supposed to be for family time--and I don't have family to share the season with. And I definitely DO know it is my own fault--I could be with my family any time I wanted to, I just CAN'T. But, I then feel badly about not being with family... It is a vicious cycle and I just have to get through it best I can.

With Thanksgiving, K and I have been asked to two different places for dinner. Dear friends of ours want us to go there and C has invited us to their house. And K wants to have the meal at home so we can have left-overs--because, what is Thanksgiving WITHOUT left-overs?!?! I already told C we probably wouldn't be there--it is too worrisome to be traveling at that time of year, especially to the 'snow-belt' of Michigan. And she totally understood, thankfully. As she said, that is quite a distance to travel just to eat and turn around and go home again. What probably will happen is this: we will have Thanksgiving dinner here at home on Wednesday and then spend the following day with our friends. Good solution and the best of both worlds.

My birthday is the week after Thanksgiving and K will be working the night shift on the day. There goes any plans for ANY kind of a celebration. Not that we ever do anything that special, it just is nice to have the option--which we don't have this year.

And, of course, then comes Christmas. For years and years I worked myself ragged trying to put on the perfect Christmas for everyone around me and now I barely get the house decorated. I realized my efforts weren't really that appreciated, so I decided to scale down--a lot! And I also realized that no matter how hard I tried, I could NEVER make it a perfect Christmas. The big problem I have now is there just doesn't seem to be anything overly special about the time for me. There is no real reason for me to do any of the cooking, baking, decorating, gift-buying that I used to do, so the holidays are pretty flat for me. I am kind of thinking about putting on a Christmas party this year, though--it would give me a reason to look forward to the season. I have to think about it and talk to K and see what he has to say. It is an idea.

But anyway, I wasn't planning on going on like this. I just wanted to let everyone know that I haven't been posting as much because I have been quite pissy lately and haven't had much to say. Maybe now that I got all of this off my chest I will be better. I can only hope.