Monday, October 23, 2006

My Life--That's All

Not a whole lot to report from here--just life going on as I know it. So, here goes.

--K came home from work four hours early last night. No real explanation, just took the time off. I have a suspicion that he isn't feeling completely well--he has a bit of a cough and that may be why he came home. Of course, it isn't like you can ACTUALLY go to see a doctor if you're not feeling well--you have to wait till you get so bad that it will take twice as long for you to get better! Chances are he'll go see someone tomorrow.

--Today K decided to cook dinner--which he does every once in a while. The biggest reason he does it is so he can make ONE dish: pot roast. Now, I don't mind the meal--it IS easy to make and clean up--but if he had his way we would have it every week or two. BORING and I get very tired of the same thing, so I don't make it very often anymore. I truly appreciate it when he cooks, but I have one question: When I cook, I clean up afterwards. When K cooks I STILL have to clean up afterwards. WHY? I could never understand this.

--The temp has been in the 30s here and it snowed off and on most of the day. We had flurries, ice pellets, and 'Christmas Eve' snow at different times. I have a feeling we may get snow to stay by Halloween. I don't mind the cold, I just don't particularly like driving in the snow.

--Watched the Red Wings lose their third in a row on Saturday. They won't be playing again until Wednesday. I must say they actually were playing better on Saturday than they had the other nights--at least they got their penalty killing together. On Thursday, EVERY goal--for BOTH teams--was a power play goal. Not good. They didn't camp out in the penalty box on Saturday, either--another good thing. I don't see a great year, but I think they will do a decent job of playing once they learn to work together--after all, they have a lot to work through after losing Yzerman and Shanahan.

--Today I went for my semi-regular blood-letting--yep, it was lab work time again! I have my physical on Monday, so I had to go and be jabbed with a needle. I looked at the tech's teeth just to make sure she didn't have fangs, and she didn't, but I still think she may be a vampire. After all, the office is totally enclosed with NO outside light, so she could be out during the day. I'm fairly certain my doctor isn't a vampire--despite his absolute delight in sending me for blood-work--I did once see him at a Bat Mitzva in the middle of the day!

--As for the rest of my labs, I also had to give a urine sample. Now, with men, it is a very easy situation. Plain, simple, pee in a cup. For women, it is a production. First, you must settle yourself on the toilet so that you can place your arm, WHILE holding a cup, between your legs and under your bottom. Next you have to clean yourself in order to give a sterile sample. THEN you must start peeing--NOT TOO MUCH--and stop, so that the urine is sterile. FINALLY, you have to place a cup--which has an opening the size of a Coke bottle--in the proper spot so that you can direct a few drops of urine into it. Of course, it doesn't work that well. To begin with, there are no mirrors. Let's face it, if there WAS a mirror, positioning the cup would be much easier--at least you could see WHERE the cup should be placed. So, this is all a guessing game. Place the cup, start peeing. Pee on hand, move the cup. Pee in toilet, move the cup. Pee on hand once more, move the cup. Pee on arm, move the cup. By the time the cup is where it should be, you are lucky to have enough urine left for them to test! And, of course, the whole while you are trying to 'catch' a sample, you are also aware of the fact that you could, very easily, miss everything and pee on your clothes. Once you have a sample, you must decide where this pee-soaked cup must be placed by your pee-soaked hand. Then you must decide how to wipe and pull your pants up with your pee-soaked hand. This leads to the scrubbing of the hands and arms--all the way to the shoulders--in order to make sure no stray drops of pee are left anywhere they are not supposed to be. As I said, it is quite a production and not at all fun. The only thing I can figure out is this: a man must have decided this would be funny!

5 comments:

Red said...

You crack me up!!

I'm a total "pee" sympathizer!! When I was pregnant, I peed in many, many cups. I think we should get together and make the worlds first mirrored toilet!

Cindi said...

Oh that is so true re. peeing in a cup! You gave me a good chuckle while reading that! I hate it when I am peeing and thinking it is going in the cup and then I get done and realize I didn't quite get it in there.

cmk said...

Red: I guess we will have to patent the idea...I'm sure some toilet manufacturer will buy it for MILLIONS! I always figured things got easier with practice--been pregnant twice, so lots of practice--NOT so with peeing in a cup.

Cindi: Yeah, peeing in a cup: a universal problem. For women, anyway!

Leazwell said...

I politely requested after dinner that my husband rinse off his plate and put it in the dishwasher. His response was that it was a squaw's job. AFter my response he did as he was told.

cmk said...

Leazwell: That is too, too funny!