Adventures With Wildlife

I would never go into a court of law and SWEAR everything happened exactly the way I am saying it did, but this is how I remember the events...

Last night I had to go out to buy a new coffee maker.  When I woke up yesterday, I poured the water into the Bunn, as usual, but all I got was light-brown colored cold water instead of coffee for my efforts.  To say I wasn't pleased, is putting it mildly.  And I knew I had to go out shopping.

K is on night shift, so I waited until he went to work before getting myself ready to go out.  After putting myself together--which is a job in itself--I finally was ready to leave the house.  Just before I open the storm door to leave, I ALWAYS look out the window to see if there is anything sitting on the porch that might impede my exit.  I could have seen the neighbor's dog looking for a hand-out, a raccoon scouting for garbage, a bear checking out the bird feeders, or any number of other scenarios.  What I DID see in the middle of the porch, was a chipmunk.  Because our chipmunks are so tame, I refuse to open the door with one anywhere close by--I'm too afraid it will come into the house.  And we don't want THAT to happen again.  The chipmunk looked up and we glared at each other for a nano-second.  He KNEW I wanted him gone, but I could see the look in his eye that said, "In your dreams, lady."  Being much, much bigger than the chipmunk, I figured I could scare him off of the porch.  Yeah, right.  To try to get him to move, I decided to make some noise.  After I yelled at him, he laughed.  I stomped my foot and he stuck his tongue out at me.  I banged on the door hard enough to break my hand and he gave me the finger.  Finally, he sat up, looked at me as if to say, "I leave when I want leave," and s-l-o-w-l-y moved to the edge of the porch and jumped down to the ground.  The last I saw of him, he was going into the entrance to his den that is right next to our sidewalk.  I distinctly heard a maniacal cackle as he went underground--and I believe I heard him say, "I'll be back."  It's going to be a long, long summer.