Saturday, May 07, 2011

He and She and She and She

I KNOW this isn't the right way to begin this post, but I have to do it like this.  I am NOT trying to be judgmental with what I am about to write--I really am confused and wanting to understand.  The questions I have concerning this topic have nothing to do with my feelings of whether any of this is right or wrong.  Now, with that said, on to my post.

I remember when Renee Richards became a woman.  It quite possibly was the first time that a sex-change was talked about openly, even though it still was discussed in slightly hushed tones.  Now, almost 40 years later, sex changes are discussed quite matter-of-factly on talk shows and in magazines.  A bit of a difference.  Agree or disagree, this is something that is here to stay.

While I don't understand why someone would want to undergo a sex change--sorry, sex reassignment surgery (damn PC police!)--I don't think those of us who are comfortable in our own skins are really supposed to.  This is another of those things that is supposed to be between a person and his/her doctor and shouldn't concern anyone else.  From what I understand, a person is supposed to go through quite a bit of counseling and therapy so that it can be determined if there is a just cause to having the surgery and not just some whim--and thank goodness for that!  I would assume that reversing the surgery wouldn't be a walk in the park, by any means.  A psychiatrist/counselor is supposed to determine that the person seeking sex reassignment is, in fact, a male/female trapped inside a female/male's body before the surgery takes place--and this is for the good of everyone involved.

Now we will examine the story of an individual who had reassignment surgery.  We'll use a male as an example.  We'll call him Sam.  Sam always felt as if he wasn't 'right.'  He always gravitated more towards the feminine and as he got older, he KNEW that he was in the wrong body, that he was meant to be a girl.  Over the years, he tried to deny his true self and be 'one of the guys'--he drank, played football, dated, had sex, but it didn't 'feel' right.  Eventually, he sought sex reassignment.  After the surgery, Sue--as she was now called--was happier than she ever had been.  She loved to dress in feminine clothes and have her hair and nails done.  She embraced her femininity to the point where she was almost a stereotype/cliche, but she was happy.  And, finally, she began to date again.  And she dated women, because she now was a lesbian.

Using the above example as a starting point, here is my problem:  If someone wants to be the opposite sex because he is 'in the wrong body,' shouldn't he have been gay BEFORE the surgery?  Wouldn't he have been attracted to men because he truly was a woman inside?  Doesn't this just prove that he WASN'T a woman trapped in a man's body all along?  It doesn't make any bit of sense to me and I really wish it could be explained in a way I could understand.  But then, I guess I'm not meant to understand.


ordinaryjanet said...

I don't understand it either. It sounds like an awful lot of trouble to go through. I'm confused-Sam dated, had sex, "didn't feel right", had a sex change and as a woman, became a lesbian. I think there might have been more testosterone in there than he thinks.

As far as "embracing femininity", I think it would be only fair if all male-to-female sex change patients were also given the capacity to have periods-THEN they'd have the full "woman experience". Bet if that was possible, they'd start to wish they'd stayed guys!

cmk said...

And if he/she was expected to give birth, there would be no more man-to-woman sex reassignment. I honestly think that God knew only women would be strong enough to go through childbirth.

meleah rebeccah said...

I don't understand it either. Not even a little!

cmk said...

Sometimes when I ask these questions, I worry that my beliefs/prejudices are showing way too much. Thank goodness I'm not the only one that doesn't understand this--and that I'm not a total jerk for thinking this is 'off.'

kristi noser said...

I shudder to think what this poor man's childhood was like.

cmk said...

Isn't that true, Kristi.