"Please God, if you can't make me thin, make my friends fat!"
"Friends don't let friends drink and take home ugly men."
"I might as well work. I'm in a bad mood anyway."
"THOUGHT FOR THE DAY. Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where shitty ideas come from!!!!!"
"THE SEVEN DWARVES OF MENOPAUSE: Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, & Psycho."
"Unattractive woman to her boss: "All the other women in the office are suing you for sexual harassment. Since you haven't sexually harassed me, I'm suing you for discrimination.""
Have a great Friday and a more wonderful weekend!
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