You Want Me To Wear What?

We are leaving in the morning for another road trip--this time we are going to see 'The Lion King.' (YAY!!!) And, once again, I don't have a clue as to what I am going to wear. Okay, before you start screaming 'JUST BUY SOME CLOTHES ALREADY,' I have to tell you the story.

I have been looking through the catalogs for months--since we got the tickets--trying to decide what I wanted to buy. Finally, about three months ago I found the cutest top and pants imaginable and figured those were what I was going to get. A month ago I put in the order--I didn't order them earlier in case my fantasy of dropping 30 pounds overnight would happen to come true and the clothes wouldn't fit anymore. Of course, it took more than two weeks for the order to get here. (I refuse to pay the extra postage for rush delivery unless it 'absolutely, positively, has to get here' faster.) I was really excited as I opened the package because I was ahead of the game, for once. First, I tried on the pants. I'm not quite sure WHAT I was sent, but they were not what I expected. They fit quite nicely and I would have been happy to keep them except for the fact that they were too short. Granted, I ordered the 'petite' length, but petite is supposed to be for women 5' 3" or 5' 4" or shorter--I am BARELY 5' 1" tall, so I figured there would be no problem. WRONG! They looked like 'flood' pants--and they definitely were not short enough to be cropped or capris. So, those had to be sent back. I figured, fine, I can find pants to go with the top--I just might have something in the closet that will do. Then I tried the top on. Frankly, I don't know what they did to make the top look good in the catalog, but when I saw the thing on me I wanted to take a pointy stick and poke my eyes out! It was horrid! Back that went.

My trying to get clothes through a catalog didn't work, so I tried to get something locally. HA!! There is NOTHING out there to be had. EVERYTHING is so damn ugly that I just wanted to cry. Now, I know I am age, weight, and height challenged, and that WILL cause me to have problems finding clothes, but the clothes in EVERY size are ugly. I even went into the part of the stores that carry the Nicole Richie/anorexia sizes and the clothes were not any better there. (As an aside: are there REALLY healthy people that can wear a size 2? There is not enough material in an article of clothing that is a size 2 to cover my right thigh, much less anything else!) If something is a cute shape, then the material is ugly. If the material is exactly what you want, then the cut is disgusting. Just a vast wasteland of ugly clothes. I was astonished at the materials/patterns there are--the kinds of material we used to call 'old ladyish.' I just don't get it. And WHEN are the manufacturers/designers going to realize: if a woman is big enough--with a big enough bust--to wear certain sizes, she PROBABLY needs a little bit of a bigger cut in the torso/stomach area. She IS NOT LOOKING TO WEAR FORM-FITTING CLOTHES!

All of the trouble I have in trying to get clothes that I like could be solved if I went back to making everything myself. Good idea, except we have NO PLACE TO BUY MATERIAL. When JoAnne's closed, we were left with WalMart as pretty much the only place to buy material. Have you checked out their selections lately? Laughable. I used to decide on the spur of the moment to make an article of clothing--which was easy to do when we had a store where all of the 'raw materials' could be bought. That ship has sailed.

I know I will find SOMETHING to wear to go to the play--and it isn't as if anyone is really going to be looking at me anyway. But, still, it is nice to have something new, that you like, and that fits well, once in awhile. I can only dream.