One of My Favs

We have cable TV. While K has digital cable with all of the movie channels, etc, in the living room, I ONLY have 75 channels on my kitchen TV. This is more than enough for me and I find things to watch most of the time. When I sat down to read the newspaper this evening, I channel surfed so I would have something on in the background. I happened onto AMC (the American Movie Channel) and they were playing one of my favorite movies: The Blues Brothers. Unfortunately I didn't get to see more than the last half hour or so, but I enjoyed what I did see. I still think John Belushi was one of the most talented people in entertainment--it is too bad we lost him so young. I guess I have to get to one of our local stores very soon as they are having a sale and The Blues Brothers is one of the sale titles. Then I don't have to worry about missing the beginning of the movie ever again.

My Oldest Daughter

In a comment for my last post, cantellya asked if C was a rambunctious child. Well. First off, she gave us an endless amount of grief during her teenaged years. She hasn't lived with us since she was in ninth grade. A big problem child. But, more on this will wait till another day.

As a young child, C was extremely outgoing and smart. She was reading before she started school and was in an accelerated program for all of her grade school years. She was in the Gifted and Talented program. C has a musical gift from God and plays the flute like an angel--it came naturally to her and she didn't have to struggle at all. (I only wish she still had time to play.) She was an only child till she was 6, so she was spoiled way too much. She also was my parents only grandchild until the age of 5, so that doubled her spoiledness. Spoiled or not, she wasn't too much of a brat. She was headstrong and difficult at times, but I think she was more of a wiseass. Here is a story to illustrate what she was like:

Now, I almost think she did the following in a calculated manner--even though she was no more than 4 years old. One day we were in a local discount department store. K and I were looking at clothes for C and didn't notice she had wandered off. Suddenly we heard her voice coming from the next aisle, talking to one of the store clerks. "Excuse me. Would you happen to know K and C _____? They are my parents and they seem to be lost." Try to keep a straight face as you are telling your child not to go off alone, after hearing that! :) I can actually imagine this was something she planned ahead of time. To say she was precocious is being mild. And her middle child, Noelle, is just like this--only I think she may be smarter and more calculating than C was. The mother's curse is at work. Bwhahahahaha!!!!!

The Kids

It has been some time since I posted about C or her kids, so here goes.

C is still waiting to hear anything from the hemotologist. She saw her the beginning of January and nothing showed up wrong at that time. The dr. was going to get all of the pathology reports and all the reports from the high-risk pregnancy specialist and go over them to determine what C's problems could possibly be. So far, no word. Meanwhile, C has to have biopsies on the "lumps" she has been getting. They can't figure out what they are, but the feeling is they might be some kind of fatty tumors. We'll find out more after the biopsies. Other than that, C is feeling good and is doing very well.

The baby is now somewhere around ten pounds--about the size a non-premie would be. She is still on a high calorie formula and C said she is sure the dr. will stop that after the next appointment. Grace has learned to eat and she does it very well!

The rest of the kids are doing fine. The two oldest are enjoying school and have a lot of friends. Christina is taking ski lessons and is enjoying that. Catie has calmed down in school and is being much less of a chatterbox. Noelle and Marcus are getting bigger and sassier every day. Sometimes it is scary just how smart Noelle is--I think she is going to be the smartest of all of them. Or she is going to be the biggest smart ass there ever was--it's a toss-up as to which will happen. Marcus is well on his way to becoming a stuntman--he will make MANY trips to the emergency room before he is grown up.

All in all, C has her hands full. I don't know how she does it--they would have had to put me in the purple padded room a long time ago if I were in her situation.

Saturday

Not a whole lot of excitement around here. K goes back to work tomorrow for four days and then it is long weekend time! Yeah! A whole seven days that we can use to plan an out-of-town trip. It's been more than six weeks since we've done a road trip and it will be nice to take off. I sure hope the weather cooperates.

Talking about the weather--we are under a heavy snow warning for tonight and tomorrow. They are saying about 12 inches of wet, heavy snow when it is all said and done. Hmmmm, I wonder if this is it for our nice winter? Just the other day we had record breaking temps and now we are going to have a winter storm! The joys of living here near the big lake.

Well, The Parents were here today. It actually turned out to be okay. I think the fact that I don't see or talk to The Mother for months and months at a time actually made for a pretty nice visit. I definitely know that I would NOT be able to be around them too often--I've learned and grown too much over the past years to put up with all the bullshit. But seeing them once in awhile is okay. So, anyway, I took her shopping for the fabric for her dress for the wedding--and, yes, I decided to do it. We settled on a gorgeous baroque satin in a color that is so hard to describe that I couldn't get a perfectly matching thread! It is a kind of greenish, brownish, goldish color--as I said, very hard to describe. It will be just beautiful made up. The only problem with it is that it is dry clean only--bummer. But, for the price per yard, you couldn't go wrong. Still didn't get my fabric, though. I have to think on it a little bit more. Surprisingly, the fabric store here has TOO many selections at this time. I will have to decide soon, though, or there won't be anything I will want.

Geek or Killer?

Can you tell a computer geek from a serial killer just by looking at a picture? Go here and see how well you do. (I managed to get 7 correct. Yippee!)

Not My Idea

I must make a correction here for all of my readers. Several of you have commented on how much you have enjoyed "my" Book Game. Well, I am very glad you have had a good time, BUT I DID NOT come up with the idea. I actually "stole" the idea from somewhere on the web--can't for the life of me remember where. (I surf WAY too much.) So, whoever came up with the Book Game:

Thank you for the fun we have all had! Great idea!

Lies, Lies, and More Lies

Well, I guess Oprah took her author, the "man who kept her awake all night," out back to the woodshed and gave him a whooping. Baaad move on your part, James Frey. You disappointed the great and powerful Oprah Winfrey. Now all her followers will look down on you with disdain for the rest of your life and your 15 minutes of fame are gone. Hope you invested the money you duped out of people well, because you ain't having lunch in this town ever again!

But, wait! Not everyone thinks Oprah is the second coming of Christ. There still are millions of people who will follow their own minds and do what they want WITHOUT Oprah's approval. Oh, oh. I am beginning to have a bad feeling about this. What do they say about ANY publicity--good OR bad--being a good thing? Sure enough. There it is in all its splendor--A Million Little Pieces is still a bestseller. Barnes & Noble has it at number 4, Amazon has it at number 5, and the New York Times has it at number 1. I am afraid this controversy is just going to make people want to read the book more. I wish he would just go away--but I'm not sure that is going to happen.

UPDATE: I wrote this about three hours ago and in that time the book has gone from number 5 to number 4 on Amazon's list. So, are my fears coming true?

The Birds Must Go

Several years ago we had an outbreak of dead birds around backyard feeders in our area. The cause was determined to be salmonella. Our backyard had quite a few dead birds and we quit feeding them for the remainder of the winter--a much easier way to control the bacteria spread than the recommended cleaning and disinfecting of the feeders. Well, it looks as if we have another outbreak, so my feeders will be coming down and probably not be up again for the rest of the season. Damn! I so enjoy watching the birds--they will be missed.

Don't Let The Bedbugs Bite

I am a total bug phobic--I am so freaked by them that I have a hard time to get near enough to kill them. And I have ALWAYS, mistakenly so sometimes, associated bugs with being dirty. That is one of the reasons I almost lost it when our Oldest came home with head lice when she was in the 8th grade. I just about had to be hospitalized after that one. So imagine my delight when I read that we are now facing an epidemic of bedbugs! This just makes me want to stay at home forever! Read the story here.

Oh, Boy

Some people have WAY too much time on their hands. Check this out.

Bird's Eye Maple

Bird's eye maple is an unusual and rare form of maple wood. It is very distinctive in appearance and highly prized but many. This, of course, is the cause of the high prices of items made out of the wood. Here is a site that has handmade items made of bird's eye maple. Especially beautiful are some of the rocking chairs.

Killer Flying Shrimp

Okay, this is just too crazy: Family: Man Died After Ducking Flying Shrimp
What lawyer thought this was a good reason for a lawsuit? I don't understand.

Refrigerator Magnets

I can't believe I am actually doing another post with the word "refrigerator" in it! Has nothing to do with my frig, however. I'm sure everyone has seen the magnetic letters that can be put on frigs. Well, here is a site that has virtual refrigerator magnets--the letters are all there and you can spell whatever you want. The problem is, there are other people at the same time trying to spell words, so someone is ALWAYS stealing your letters. It is not nearly as boring as I just made it sound, and it can become quite addicting.

Jumped Off The Cliff

Yeah, I did it--said I would make The Mother her dress for the wedding. I hope it isn't my biggest mistake yet. However, I have come so far that I believe I will know if I'm getting sucked back in their world--I should be able to keep myself "safe." AND, because I did this all on my own, I will keep the pissing and moaning to a minimum--no one needs to hear it. I will only talk about the really big stuff--the kind where you either "pee yourself laughing" or "look for a gun so you could shoot someone," type of things. I think I will re-order my Prevacid today--I can just feel the GERD starting up again. Don't want to start an ulcer. :)

What The HELL Am I ABOUT To Do?

Anyone who has read this blog for a while knows that I have some definite issues with my family. As of yet, I haven't really written about what the problems are, but they are there. Now I am thinking about doing something that I can't even believe is a thought in my mind.

Our youngest daughter is getting married in May. We've known about this for a few months and I have been trying to find to wear--no such luck. I am 5ft 1in, and I DEFINITELY have more than 10 pounds to lose, so it is not an easy task. I finally found a pattern that I think could look good on me, so I have decided to make my own dress. Of course, I told my decision to C and I explained what I was going to do with the dress: the color and type of fabrics, any embellishments, etc. We both agreed it could be very nice. Now the beginning of my dilemma. C told The Mother about my dress. The Mother (in her best drama queen fashion, I'm sure) said, "Oh, if your mother could only make ME a dress!" To which C suggested she call me and ask. The Mother said she "could never" do that. (Why? Is she afraid I would squeeze through the phone wire and rip her head off? Not possible--I use a cordless phone!) So, C called and asked if I would do it. The Mother has no knowledge of this phone call, so I could say "no" without her knowing--only C would be aware of my negative attitude. But, The Mother did a wonderful job raising me--I would have the guilt of the world on my shoulders for all eternity if I said "no." I DON'T want to get involved with my family again--it is too nice to not be around them. But The Mother is getting old and I won't have her around to ignore too much longer. I could do the fittings at times I would KNOW The Brother wouldn't be around, so I wouldn't have to see him. I could be in the same room as The Father and not acknowledge him--we've never had a conversation so far, why worry about starting now? AND this is the last of my kids to get married--no more BIG occasions to have to be around them. AND my doctor will ALWAYS prescribe me a "happy pill" if I need one. Did I just talk myself into saying "yes?" Unfortunately, I think I did.

Cuteoverload.com

Okay people, you MUST get to Cute Overload--they are just outdoing themselves in pictures that cause you to go "awwww" when you see them. Those pictures are enough to melt ANY bitches heart!

NOT Another Post About My New Frig

We are going to go broke feeding the birds this year. The last few years they have been pretty much staying away, but this year we have actual FLOCKS coming by every day. Yesterday I counted at least 2 dozen mourning doves--I can't keep an actual count of the various finches, chickadees, sparrows, and whatever else shows up. I could really be filling the feeders every day, but I do it every other day--this way everything is fresher for them. We have various snowy owls in the immediate area, so I'm just waiting for when my backyard becomes a killing field for them.

Got the cable for my cellphone yesterday and it actually worked! Yeah! At last I have a ringtone that isn't annoying: an old phone ringing. I am a bit upset that I couldn't get the ringtone of Robin Williams yelling "Good Morning Vietnam" in a format to go with my phone. That WOULD have been annoying, but I think it would have been fun--at least the first three times I heard it!

The other day I was sitting in the kitchen and the TV was on, as usual--it's usually on for background noise. Anyway, K had changed the channel at some point and there was a story about Benjamin Franklin on. They were talking about his discovering, or working with, electricity and they had an actor portraying the famous key-on-a-kite string story. Now, this is good: in the upper left-hand corner of the screen, as a man wearing a curly wig and clothing from the 1700s played with a kite, there was a disclaimer reading "A RE-ENACTMENT." I almost fell over I started to laugh so hard. But then, it occurred to me, there probably are some people out there--more than I want to know, actually--who would believe that TV was around in the 1700s! Oh, my gosh.

Oh, Happy Day

I hugged my refrigerator. Yes, it is a bit out there, but I missed having cold food! We don't always realize how addicted we are to modern conveniences (electricity, running water, refrigeration, etc.) until we don't have them. I am a happy camper today--I have a refrigerator.

The delivery guy (who REALLY reminded me of Matthew Fox) called about an hour before he was scheduled to be here and asked if he could come early--how often do you hear of someone being ahead of schedule? When he got here, it was determined that the frig couldn't be brought through the door--the doors had to be removed from the frig and K had to remove part of the storm door just to get the thing into the house. It didn't take all that long to get it in place and leveled. I then had to clean the inside and outside and plug it in to start cooling. I managed to get everything we had in the cooler into the frig and then we went to the grocery store to get what was needed to fill the new addition.

This is going to take some getting used to. First, the inside is laid out VERY differently from the old refrigerator. Secondly, it is not as big as the old one. But, I do think I will be even more pleased than I am now once I am fully used to having it.

Thus concludes my VERY snooze-worthy saga of the death of my old appliance and purchase of the replacement. I want to hear everyone give a collective sigh of relief and shout, "Thank goodness!" I would promise that I will never mention my frig again, but I have learned to never say never. (But I highly doubt you will be hearing more about it!) :)

Frig Update

I know all of you are waiting with bated breath (I never understood that statement) but my refrigerator is going to be here at 1:00 PM tomorrow. I am singing the "Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy" song! And whether you like it or not, I WILL be talking about the frig tomorrow--so THERE! :)

Book Game

Here are the rules:

1. Grab the nearest book
2. Open the book to page 123
3. Find the fifth sentence
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences (#5,6,7) on your blog, along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it. Just grab what is closest!

""Were there tigers?" Jimmy asked.
Oryx shook her head for no. No tigers."

--This selection was taken from Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood.

If anyone plays the Book Game on their blog, let me know--it will be interesting!

UPDATE/EDIT: Forgot the rest of the instructions--sorry. Anyway, copy and paste the rules into your blog. Then, follow the rules and put your book passage following. Easy and fun!

Public Service Announcement, Lies, and A Dying Refrigerator

First off, my Public Service Announcement: Tomorrow (Monday) there will be no mail service and the banks will be closed because of MLK, Jr's birthday holiday. Just wanted to pass that on. See, it is hard for me to keep track of these things as K doesn't get holidays off, unless they come up as "off" in his schedule. And not to worry, he DOES get holiday pay for some of them--not tomorrow, though. So, anyway, it is hard for me to remember these things and just thought I would announce it in case any of my readers have the same problem as I do. :)

The last time we did a shopping trip, C asked if I could find the book A Million Little Pieces by James Frey, for her. No problem. (Well, there actually was a problem: it had the Oprah Book Club endorsement on it, but it was a removable sticker, so that was okay. I have Oprah issues.) The book sounded interesting so I bought myself a copy, also. I haven't had a chance to read it, yet, and now I don't know what to do. I KNOW I will be reading EVERY word and wondering, "Is THIS a lie, or the truth?" It might be difficult. I also know that I will be questioning myself if I don't think the book is so good that I can't put it down. Did I not like it because of how it is written, or is it because of the controversy? Quite a dilemma.

I read quite a few of the editorials and news stories about this whole thing. Most are, at the very least, leaning towards condemning Frey. Very few are actually supporting him wholeheartedly. Here is one of the better takes on the whole thing. (The article also comments on the controversy of JT LeRoy.) The best part was: "The real crime here, of course," Cohen said, "is that someone lied to Oprah. I'm not a constitutional scholar, but I believe that's still a capital offense in America." Made me chuckle.

I know everyone is just sitting on the edge of their seats for the following: the refrigerator is still working, barely! The freezer works for a day and then it stops. At times it seems as if the fresh food part is too warm, but then it gets to the temp it should be. I only hope it will keep going until the new one gets here, otherwise I will be up the proverbial creek without a paddle!

Another Saturday Night...

...and I ain't doing anything exciting! Between K's screwy work schedule and our getting to be older than dirt, Saturday isn't a day that we especially wait for. Just another day.

Of course, I could have been doing quite a few things--some that really NEED to be done--but I have spent the entire evening sitting at the computer. And I could have been doing something constructive here--doing some upkeep, updating various stuff--but I decided to just mess around with some fun stuff. I downloaded Yahoo! Widget Engine (fomerly Konfabulator) and decided to give it a try, again. (I tried Konfabulator a year ago on this computer and I even tried it with my old computer several years ago.) While it is fun and in many ways useful, I just don't know if I sit at the computer enough to justify using up resources to keep the TV schedule and weather report on my desktop. I just don't understand some of the Widgets and why they would be needed--does anyone really need a traffic-cam going at all times on their desktop? Whatever floats your boat, I guess. So, right now, the Widgets I have on my desktop are: my TV schedule, a digital clock, National Weather Service alerts, Yahoo weather, and the US map showing the current temps. Good grief, I must be obsessed with weather! I'll keep this going for now and see if there are more Widgets I want. It might be something I find I can't live without.

Of Phones and Refrigerators and Such

K and I have had our new cell phones for about two weeks now and are pretty happy with them. Having flip-phones when you're used to the "candy bar" style definitely is different. But, K wanted something that you didn't need to keep the keys locked all the time, so we got these. The phones we have are the Nokia 6101--GSM and able to surf the web, take pictures, etc. I won't be doing any of the text messaging and probably will never send a picture, but other features I plan on taking advantage of. I want to be able to sync the phone with my PC and be able to add wallpapers and ringtones, etc. And to that end, I ordered a cable to hook to the PC. Well, I decided to try and save a lot of money, and I ordered a cable that wasn't made by Nokia--BIG mistake. Thankfully, the cable only cost $10, so I don't have to feel too bad about not sending it back. (I ordered this from Hong Kong and it just isn't worth the shipping to send it back.) Anyway, I spent quite a few hours working on the drivers and surfing the net for solutions, etc. and I couldn't get the damn thing to work. I am pretty sure I am just going to cut my losses and order an ORIGINAL cable and, hopefully, be able to do exactly what I wanted to in the first place! At least it wasn't TOO expensive of a lesson to be learned.

A couple of days ago I posted about the impending death of my refrigerator. Well, it isn't completely dead, but it is about to go, so K said we should go shopping. And we ordered our new frig today. We should be getting it the middle of next week and I can't wait! We bought another GE because we have always had wonderful luck with the brand and we got the closest thing we could find to the size we already have. Now, this wasn't our first choice, but we have a specific space that the frig has to go in, so we can't go over certain dimensions in size. If we had our druthers, we would have a HUGE side-by-side or 3-door with an ice-maker and water dispenser--maybe if we ever get another house, we will do that.

Not much else going on. K just ended his long weekend--and he worked all but two days of it. The overtime is crazy, again, but it is nice to have the extra money. He will be going on night shift tonight and we will see if we can do a day-run shopping trip next week when he has a day or two off--that is, as long as there isn't overtime! Oh, well, we'll have to wait and see.

A Funny Feeling

Our youngest daughter, A, has been gone from here for over 2 years. This is the LAST time she has left our home. The three times previous she left, she came back--not under great circumstances, either. Thing is, I STILL feel as if she will be back on our doorstep, unexpectedly and heartbroken, asking if she can move back in. My stomach jumps every so often when the phone rings or I hear a vehicle outside--at times I KNOW it is her (and so far, it hasn't been.) I can't figure out why I feel like this. I definitely want her to be happy and move on with her life, but I really am not sure she has made the best or wisest decisions. I think this relationship she is in now happened because she was on the rebound and wanted SOMEONE in her life--I don't know if she really thought this through. I just don't want to see her hurting again--it breaks my heart.

The 50 Greatest Gadgets of the Past 50 Years

PC World magazine has a list of their picks as the greatest gadgets of the past 50 years. It makes for quite a fascinating read--and in many cases, a fun walk down memory lane! Find the list here: 50 Greatest Gadgets

Monday Blues

I thought today was going to be a fairly good day. After all, the temp is hovering around the freezing mark, the sun is shining, and I haven't gotten any upsetting phone calls. All of the good feelings changed when I went to the freezer to take out something for dinner tonight. When I opened the door, it sounded as if a hampster was running on a wheel in a metal cage--and the wheel was loose. I really wish I could describe the sound. Something like "chunka-chunka-chunka, dit-dit-dit, tic-tic-tic." Altogether, not something I wanted to hear. Of course, my way of handling the whole situation: take a cup of coffee and go to the computer and read my mail! The rest of the story: every time I go back to see if the fridge is still working, the sound is not there. K is going to accuse me of "hearing things"--something I am NOT in the habit of doing. The situation is this: whenever something mechanical goes wrong, be it the Jimmy, washing machine , or furnace, I am the only one who hears the "noises" until it is too late to get the problem fixed. By the time K actually experiences the problem, we have to get a replacement for the broken appliance. So now, I will have a "death watch" going on for my refrigerator. The only good thing about all of this is, we will, finally, be able to go out and get a new fridge with totally clear consciences!

A True Friend

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying,
"Damn...that was fun!"
--author unknown--

I hope you have at least one friend you can think of when you read that quote. Make sure and get in touch with him/her this week--you always have to stay in contact.

Hope you all have a great week--and stay out of jail! :)

Black Box Recorders

(While this isn't TECHNICALLY politically correct, it still is funny. Enjoy!)

Black Box Recorders

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with U.S. auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black box voice recorders in four-wheel drive pickup trucks and SUV's in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last moments before the crash.

They were not surprised to find in 44 of the 50 states the recorded last words of drivers in 61.2% of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!"

But the states of Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Arkansas, Alabama and Kentucky were different, where 89.3% of the final words were, "Hold my beer, I'm gonna try somethin."

Back To Normal

FINALLY it looks like the world is going back to normal: the mail is being delivered, banks are opened, schools are back in session. All's right with the world. I REALLY like normal. :) And as per normal, my life is quite quiet--nothing to report. Don't know if I will have time to post tomorrow--it is K's birthday and I still don't know what we will do to celebrate. I will have him decide whether he wants to go out and eat or if he wants me to cook--his birthday is about the only time we go out to a seafood restaurant, so we might do that. I probably will make a cake--as if we NEED one. I guess I better start planning! Have a good one, all!

Number 1000

One of my fellow bloggers, Ranger Tom, became the 1000th person to visit Out of My Mind. Congratulations, R.T. Wish I had a great gift for you, but, sorry, I don't. Maybe if you become number 5000...Oh, well.

Anyway, R.T. posted awhile back about the searches that people did that led them to his blog, so I figured that I would use his idea and do the same. Nothing like stealing another's ideas. :) To make it more my own idea, I will add some other info.

Most of the people that visit my blog use Windows as the operating system on their computers. Other than the VAST majority using XP, a few use ME and 2000. Every once in awhile I will get someone using a MAC OS and I have a regular visitor using Linux UNIX and she is a friend of mine from a local university. Most people use Internet Explorer as their browser, but there are some that use Firefox. I get someone using Netscape, rarely, and the ones with Macs use Safari. So, from this very small amount of statistics, it truly shows that it is a Microsoft world.

Now onto the way some people find this blog. This past summer and into the fall A LOT of people were searching for ways to get rid of spiders in their basements. There were so many people searching for that, I was beginning to think we were experiencing the movie Arachnophobia in real life! Another common search was about getting rid of chipmunks, so I know I am not alone in the world when it comes to having pests around the house.

During the last month, there were two searches that really bothered me--I wanted to reach out to the ones doing the searches because they seemed to need someone to talk to. One of the searches was for "father AND I was molested," and the other one was "should I give my third child up for adoption, husband is gone." I hope and pray these women (I'm assuming both are women) get whatever help they need--I wish they could have found answers on my blog, but that just wasn't to be. Be at peace my dears, be at peace.

News of The Weird

For something to do when you want to waste time, News of The Weird is a good place to do it. There are strange stories from all over the world--some you have a hard time believing. I love the following list the author has made--these types of stories have appeared so often in the news, that they are no longer considered weird. Frightening!

NO LONGER WEIRD
by Chuck Shepherd Copyright 2003. All rights reserved. Updated: August 1, 2003

The following kinds of stories were formerly weird, but they now occur with such frequency that they must be retired from circulation:

1. an old, widely-advertised phone-sex number is reassigned to a church/charity
2. suspicious package thought to be a bomb, turns out to be something stupid
3. robber leaves his ID [wallet or appointment card for probation officer or etc.] at the scene
4. peace/brotherhood conference erupts into violence
5. robber on getaway accidentally hails unmarked police car
6. political candidate dies but still wins the election
7. family thinks he's dead, but he's not and attends his own funeral
8. hunters shoot each other
9. funeral home owner neglects/mixes up bodies
10. "victimized" drug buyer complains to police that someone sold him weak or bogus drugs
11. some countries prohibit giving children certain names
12. in middle of an obvious drug raid, customer wanders up and asks cop if he can buy some drugs
13. shoots himself while supposedly demonstrating gun safety
14. global warming caused by animal methane
15. burglar gets stuck in vent or chimney
16. courthouse visitor/defendant inadvertently places contraband on the x-ray tables at entrance
17. burglar falls asleep during job.
18. family accidentally leaves behind a kid at a highway rest stop
19. driver's license applicant crashes into examiner station before or during test
20. [Oops! It's about the same as number 15]
21. overdue-library-book scofflaws actually go to jail
22. DUI tickets for "driving" a bicycle [or horse or riding lawn mower or etc.]
23. starts fire because can't stop smoking even though hooked up to oxygen machine
24. gasoline thieves check quantity in tank by using a match or lighter to peer inside
25. older teacher/younger boy relationship
26. firefighter with an arson habit [to keep in practice or to feel wanted or etc.]
27. local election ends in tie, settled (by law) by coin flip or draw of cards
28. Japanese men committing suicide because of overwork
29. angry customer drives car right through store's front door
30. heating-oil delivery to wrong house, resulting in flooded basement
31. postal worker hoards mail because he's behind in delivering it
32. bank robber hails taxi or municipal bus for getaway
33. the annual student cheating riots in Bangladesh
34. criminal on the lam goes on national tv talk show and mentions that he's wanted
35. dog steps on gun, shooting the master
36. pack of animals breaks into liquor cabinet or fermenting vat, get drunk
37. a loved one died at home, but the relative never gets around to burying him or her
38. school zero-tolerance policies for "weapons" that are purely, obviously ornamental
39. amateur videographers set up miniature cameras in restrooms
40. animal-hoarding (mostly of cats) women
41. carjackers who never learned to drive stick shift and must abandon the car
42. criminal suspect evading police, jumps in river to escape, and drowns
43. young-looking adults impersonate teenagers and return to high school
44. African nation's rumors of people with power to make penises disappear
45. humongous abdominal cysts removed in surgery
46. unlabeled urn with loved one's ashes mistakenly stolen or sold at yard sale
47. husband takes his wife back even though she just tried to kill him
48. judges punish young people by forcing them to listen to [classical or polka or etc.] music
49. hit-and-run driver drives on and on with body or bicycle in grille or windshield
50. criminal, cornered by police dog, bites the dog
51. burglars leave footprints in snow, directly to their homes
52. [Oops! It's about the same as number 48]
53. video shoe-cams or smoke-detector-cams to spy on women
54. Japanese making many silent hang-up telephone calls against former lover or business partner
55. robber smashes store's surveillance "camera," but it's only the lens, and it captured his face
56. inadvertently tries to cash a stolen personal check at the store [bank] where his victim works
57. accidental bombing of house by airliner's "blue ice"
58. elderly citizen trying to convince bureaucrat that, contrary to records, he's not really dead
59. elderly motorist makes wrong turn, gets lost for days
60. bands of criminals videotape their entire crime sprees for kicks, but makes it easy for cops
61. parents frolic while their small kids are left home alone
62. people trying to outrun police while driving slow-moving vehicles
63. combining jellyfish gene to produce another plant or animal that glows
64. imposter cop has car with flashing light, stopping motorists, accidentally stops real cop
65. parents who leave their small kids locked in hot cars while they frolic
66. inmates who advertise innocently for penpals on lonely-hearts pages on the Internet.