Unexpected

The Mother called today. Just that statement alone can send me off to an eating binge of epic proportions--and it probably will. Of course, the first thing I think when I see the Caller ID is, "NOW what the hell did I do wrong!" And it certainly doesn't matter that I have no contact with them. Somehow, with my abilities of superhumanness, I can do things just with my mind. And I can do things retroactively: I AM, after all, to blame for the fall of Adam and Eve as well as everything that has ever gone wrong on this Earth. So, I brace myself as I answer the phone whenever She calls.

Surprisingly, she was in a good mood. The reason for the call was that I don't have to make her dress for The Niece's wedding, after all. (I got into the dress thing here.) Seems She was "joking" with a woman from her church and said if I wasn't making her dress, She would have asked the lady to do it. The lady said she would be happy to: it would make it easier for The Mother to not have to come 100 miles for fittings, etc. This being The Father's busy time of the year, She doesn't know how She would get here, so it would be better all around if the dress was done there. This, of course, is if I would rather not do it myself.

Pretty nice, hey? I got an out if I want and The Mother was really good about it. HA!!!! Here is the REAL story! (Or, what-I-know-really-happened-because-I-know-the-way-the-woman-thinks-because-after all-I-am-her-daughter-and-I-put-up-with-her-bullshit-for-far-too-long-before-I-got-smart.) First of all, The Mother has (probably) been "concerned" because there has been no progress on the dress thus far. (The wedding is in September, so there is plenty of time. Because the dress is so simple, it would take me only one day to put the damn thing together!) I'm sure she did her "I hope it gets done--I don't know what is taking C so long to make it!" lament to anyone who would listen. And she did this as often as possible. So, someone got sick of hearing her martyr speech and put the bug in the lady's ear, which prompted her to make the offer. (This is The Mother's way: get people so sick of hearing her bitching that someone has to take care of the problem for her. This way, SHE never is the bad guy!) AND this also gave her an out when it comes to The Father. Now, I am sure he told her way back in January that he would NOT be bringing her back and forth to my house for fittings. And it has nothing to do with the distance. See, The Father NEVER forgives or forgets and I think I am on his "not forgiven" list. He didn't speak to his brother for over 30 years and wouldn't even be in the same room with him if he had a choice. Well, the brother died a couple of years ago and I think I have now taken his place. (They did "reconcile" a few years before the death. They would stay in the same room and actually would talk about the weather!) The Father is retired, so the "being so busy" excuse just doesn't fly with me. Unless, of course, he is making firewood by cutting down every tree left within a 200 mile radius of their house! (That is what is causing him to be so busy: making firewood.) This is something he was able to do with no problem while he held down a fulltime job, but now he can't find the time to do other things now that he is retired! Not the truth.

After thinking about all of this for about two seconds, I have decided to let the lady do the dress. The only thing I would have gotten out of the deal was an exaggerated "atta-boy" from The Mother. She can go on and on about something so "wonderful" as me making her a dress. And this is even when I KNOW I didn't do anything special! She overcompensates, or something, so I don't need that in my life--I KNOW I am talented without her gushing over me! This gives me an out--I never was too sure whether my doing it was right, or not--and this gives her an out with The Father. Tomorrow I will go to pick up my sewing machine from the shop and I will drop off the material, etc. and be done with the whole damn thing! Good plan.