Another Reason Why I Am The Way I Am

The Father has a younger cousin who, along with her husband, were very close friends of The Parents during my early years. Somewhere around my middle-school days, The Cousin and her husband moved downstate. (We're talking about 8 hours away.) The only time The Parents got together with them, was when they came 'back home' on vacation--which would have been about once a year. As The Parents NEVER went on vacation, ANYWHERE, they always relied on people coming to them to visit.

As it would happen, when someone came back to my hometown area, a 'get together' would usually be planned so that all the family could gather in one place and visit with whoever was on vacation. Most of the time, if it was The Father's family member, his younger sister would be the one having the party. This ALWAYS was a source of irritation for The Mother, as this woman wasn't/isn't one of her favorites. (But then, who DOES The Mother actually like, I ask you?) This would cause The Mother to whine and piss and moan and say how much she didn't want to attend--but she WOULD go for The Father's sake. (This happened ALL. OF. THE. TIME. whenever his family was involved.) And, just as inevitably, The Father would make the pronouncement that he WAS NOT GOING. BUT, The Father would say, The Mother would have to come up with the excuse and make the phone call declining the invitation. And I would have to listen to them argue back and forth for days about this--her saying she was not going to make the call and him saying he was not going to call, but they would not attend no matter what, etc, etc. And I heard this from a very young age. It was quite unnerving, to say the least--and it is most likely one of the biggest reasons why I don't care for family.

Another big reason why The Parents wouldn't attend these shindigs was The Father's way of thinking. He decided that, since whoever was around and was on vacation, THEY should be the ones going from house to house visiting and paying homage to those who lived in the area. After all, THEY were on vacation and had the time to do the visiting, not those who still had to work. And it didn't matter if the vacationers were around for two days or two weeks--The Father figured their time wasn't nearly as valuable as his. The fact that he came from a big family and most of them lived in the area, didn't seem to matter to him. Somehow, the vacationers were supposed to find the time to visit in each of the 8+ family homes for a substantial period of time during their 4 day vacation. And, not surprisingly, many, many times when the vacationers left the area, The Parents were one of the few family members who didn't get to see them during their stay. And The Parents were always pissed.

Back to The Cousins-who-were-good-friends. One summer, The Cousins came to the area to visit, as they did almost every year. Now, not only did The Cousin have family in the area, but her husband had a decent sized family, also--and HE was a 'local' as well. So, they didn't get to everyone's house during their vacations, as most people wouldn't. Again, this particular year, there was a gathering where everyone could visit with the vacationers and The Parents didn't attend, as was their MO. This had happened year after year, and I assume The Cousins got pissed at The Parents. So, one afternoon, a car drove passed The Parents' house, beeping its horn. The Parents looked out to see The Cousins driving by, waving. And they continued on and never stopped. That was their 'visit' to The Parents.

Okay, I can see why The Parents were not happy by this situation, but I also can see why The Cousins did this. Year after year, The Parents not going to see The Cousins was a slap in the face, so The Cousins decided to 'slap' back. This was a way to do it. And this caused The Parents to refuse to talk to The Cousins for a couple of decades.

Finally, The Cousins moved back to the area after retirement. They spent most of their time with The Father's youngest sister--one gossip (The Cousin) joining another gossip (younger sister), as The Mother said it--and they became 'thick as thieves.' Of course, this was a source of irritation for The Parents--and I heard about it often. Not long after this, I severed my close ties with The Family, so I didn't hear what happened next.

A couple of years ago, lo and behold, The Parents and The Cousins became close, once again. I don't know what happened, I don't know when it happened, and I don't want to know. The only thing I DO know is that neither couple can leave a shit without the other couple knowing about it, so I give this relationship five more years at the most. SOMETHING The Cousin or her husband will do WILL piss off The Father or The Mother and that will be the end of The Great Friendship, once again.

And people wonder why I am the way I am? With a family like I have, it's a wonder I'm not even MORE screwed up!