Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Coming Soon To A TV Near You

(DISCLAIMER: This is something that hasn't happened--YET.)

Announcer: He confessed…He was extradited…He was let go. Next week on Oprah: John Mark Karr! (fade out)


Morning Talk Show Talking Head (looking intensely serious): This morning we are talking to Oprah Winfrey. She has caused quite a stir by announcing that John Mark Karr, the man who confessed to killing JonBenet Ramsey will be a guest on her show. Good morning Oprah.

Oprah (looking just as serious): Good morning, MTSTH.

MTSTH: Let’s get right to it. Why would you put this man on your show? And during sweeps week?

Oprah (looking even more intensely serious—if possible): The man disgusts me, as he disgusts everyone. I just want to get him in that chair and ask him “Why?” This is the question all of America wants to know. I just want to understand what was going through his mind. I want to understand what kind of sickness he has to do such a thing. We all want to know, and I will ask him the questions my viewers want answered. (now, getting a totally innocent look on face) And this has nothing to do with sweeps week—this was the only time we could book him…(and more lying drival we don’t need to think about.)

3 comments:

  1. Just the thought of him on Oprah makes me want to puke. Just the guy fade away willya? all he wanted was 15 min. of fame and he will get it, thanks to people like her.

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  2. Are you kidding, or has Okra really sunk that low?

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  3. When I wrote this, all I could think about was her having the author of A Million Little Pieces on her show a second time just so she could rake him over the coals--and make herself look good. (I don't watch her show, but I read enough about it that I might as well have watched it. AND I think James Frey is an idiot, so I'm not on his side, either.) You just know the woman is trying to figure out a way she can get Karr on her show without making herself look like what she exactly is: a money-hungry, media whore. If she can spin it right, she knows the amount of people that would watch the show would break records. And nothing would satisfy her ego more than that.

    ReplyDelete

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