Saturday, August 26, 2006

In The News

Here are two news stories that I missed this past week:

--Olympia, Washington. The raccoons are out of control. They are rampaging and killing cats. The citizens don't have a clue as to what to do about them varmints--they seem to believe that hand-wringing is a good choice. To read the whole story, go here. Be sure to read the comments that are posted--some of them are just hysterical. You probably will come away from reading them with the same response as me: shaking your head and wondering what is wrong with people! (The comments are in reverse-order from when they were posted--scroll to the bottom and work your way up.)

Here is my take on the matter. If the raccoons are killing your cats and rampaging around your neighborhood, this is what you do:

1. QUIT FEEDING THE RACCOONS!!! Do NOT put food out for them specifically. Do NOT leave domestic animal food out for the raccoons to go after. Put your garbage cans in secure locations so the raccoons cannot get to them.

2. If the raccoons are killing cats, then KEEP YOUR CATS IN THE HOUSE!!! Is that such a hard solution?

3. Hire someone who KNOWS what they are doing--such as someone who has actually hunted raccoons--to come and get rid of the problem. Yes, it will probably involve guns and shooting the poor defenseless animals (sarcasm there), but IT IS BETTER THAN BEING BIT BY ONE OF THEM! (One woman WAS bit and underwent rabies shots.)

I guess I just figure, if there is a problem, deal with it! Quit whining and saying 'oh, woe is me!'

--Chicago, Illinois. O'Hare airport. A man has been charged with federal disorderly conduct following an incident where he was accused of trying to take a bomb aboard an airplane. Turns out, his 'bomb' was actually a penis pump. When asked to identify the object, he whispered what it was to the security officer. The officer said the man claimed it was a bomb--the man said he told the officer it was a pump and that the officer misheard him. All of this took place because the man was with his mother and didn't want her to know he was taking a sexual aid with him on their trip to Turkey. The whole story can be read here.

My question is this: How big is the male ego that a man won't admit--to security personnel, in this day and age--that he is carrying a sex aid. Rather, he would allow them to believe he was carrying a bomb so that his mother wouldn't know he needed help when it comes to his sexual performance. Granted, it would be embarrassing to have people know of your 'short-comings,' but isn't a little embarrassment better than a possible prison sentence?

2 comments:

  1. Just two more reasons I believe the world would be a much better place without all the people...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I would imagine the guy with the sex aid is NOT a Flyers OR Wings fan! :)

    ReplyDelete

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