Police Log

For some reason or other, the stupid police calls have stopped around here. All I have been seeing are about drunks and failure to pay for gas, etc. Very, very dull, boring stuff. But there is always hope and I was rewarded for my patience over the past couple of days. I now present the police logs:


--11:08 PM, woman with finger stuck in ironing board

Ouch? But, HOW do you do this? And why do you call the police?

--1:56 PM, lost cell phone and envelope containing bridge cards

Okay, I understand the cell phone, but lost bridge cards????

And now for the 'stupidest person in the world' award--AND an award for 'making lemonade when you are handed lemons':

--1:55 AM, caller reported orange light on lake, possible boater in distress, turned out to be the moon rising, but officer found minors partying on beach

Really, we AREN'T all this stupid around here!