Just popping in for a short time today...I am just crazy busy here. And I will be through the weekend. We are having a small open house for A and her husband on Saturday and I am trying to get things done. So far, I have gotten the house cleaned--and believe me when I say it needed it. I kept expecting the health department inspectors to show up and condemn my house! (Needless to say, I am no longer Suzy Homemaker...the anal retentive nutcase I used to be!) Anyway, tonight, tomorrow, and Saturday will be all about the food prep...and I am soooooo afraid I haven't planned enough food to feed everyone! Every time I plan a "get-together," I worry about running out of food. I NEVER have, but there is always a first time. I am expecting no more than 30 people, so I hope I will have enough.
Anyway, I don't know if I will have time to post before next week, so I will leave you with this--hope you get a little chuckle out of it!
Material Things
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he got out, a truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver’s door. Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus, his lights flashing.
But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. “I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are,” he said. “You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life.”
“How can you say such a thing?” asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, “Don’t you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!”
“Oh, my God!” screamed the lawyer. “My Rolex!”
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
I'm Still Crying...
Recently I saw "my boy" again. He is not doing any better than he was a year ago. I ask for your indulgence as I re-run a post I did last year. I'm still crying...
He wasn't quite 5 years old and I was still a newlywed when we first met. I fell in love immediately--his white-blonde hair, big blue eyes, and impossibly low voice were too much to resist. He just stared at me for the longest time, trying to figure out if I was worthy of his attention. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he held out his hand to me and said, "You want some candy?" When I accepted a jaw breaker, we became fast friends.
He was the sweetest boy God ever put on this earth. He always called me "Auntie," even though there wasn't any blood between us. Every time he saw me, he held his arms out and gave me a hug. I felt joy when I was around him--his smile was genuine and his sense of humor was wonderful.
I was there through his school days. I saw him graduate and I was there the day of his wedding. After getting to know his wife, I realized she was worthy of his love. I gave them my blessings. I was with them for the births of their children and the start of their business. They were there for K. and myself when we had our problems with C.--they offered help with no sense of judging us, just with pure love. Through the years we have gone lengths of time without seeing each other, but it was always as if we never parted whenever we were together again. He was "my boy."
And, now, "my boy" is a cocaine addict. He started out snorting, moved on to smoking, and is now injecting. He is slowly killing himself and there is nothing that can be done. He has lost his wife and children. He has lost his business. He is about to lose his life. And I can't do a thing for him. He has been through rehab several times and each time he goes back to the cocaine. He has to want to be clean for himself, or it won't work. I pray for him constantly and hope God intervenes before it is too late.
And I cry.
He wasn't quite 5 years old and I was still a newlywed when we first met. I fell in love immediately--his white-blonde hair, big blue eyes, and impossibly low voice were too much to resist. He just stared at me for the longest time, trying to figure out if I was worthy of his attention. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he held out his hand to me and said, "You want some candy?" When I accepted a jaw breaker, we became fast friends.
He was the sweetest boy God ever put on this earth. He always called me "Auntie," even though there wasn't any blood between us. Every time he saw me, he held his arms out and gave me a hug. I felt joy when I was around him--his smile was genuine and his sense of humor was wonderful.
I was there through his school days. I saw him graduate and I was there the day of his wedding. After getting to know his wife, I realized she was worthy of his love. I gave them my blessings. I was with them for the births of their children and the start of their business. They were there for K. and myself when we had our problems with C.--they offered help with no sense of judging us, just with pure love. Through the years we have gone lengths of time without seeing each other, but it was always as if we never parted whenever we were together again. He was "my boy."
And, now, "my boy" is a cocaine addict. He started out snorting, moved on to smoking, and is now injecting. He is slowly killing himself and there is nothing that can be done. He has lost his wife and children. He has lost his business. He is about to lose his life. And I can't do a thing for him. He has been through rehab several times and each time he goes back to the cocaine. He has to want to be clean for himself, or it won't work. I pray for him constantly and hope God intervenes before it is too late.
And I cry.
New Math??
(Hope you get a chuckle out of this--I did!)
Math 1950-2006 (new version)
Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.
Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:
1. Teaching Math In 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
2. Teaching Math In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In 1970: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
4. Teaching Math In 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 1990: A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.)
6. Teaching Math In 2006: Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80.
Math 1950-2006 (new version)
Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.
Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:
1. Teaching Math In 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
2. Teaching Math In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In 1970: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
4. Teaching Math In 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 1990: A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.)
6. Teaching Math In 2006: Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Happy Mother's Day!
For all who read this blog--and are mothers--I hope you have a great day today.
Mother's Day is one of those holidays which has been rather hard for me over the years. Way too many years I have not been on good terms with my mother--this year is no exception. So, while I give her gifts and cards, I don't make a point of calling her to see how her day is going. No big deal--at least I acknowledge the day.
For far too many years, things haven't been good with one or the other of my girls, either. (Boy, I can't get along with ANYONE, can I?) This is the first year, in a long, long, time, where all is well. Today I can actually be happy that the day will be acknowledged by, at least one, of my kids. So far, C sent me an e-card and she said the "hard copy" cards will be here tomorrow or Tuesday. But that is expected from her--she is late for EVERYTHING! I haven't heard from A yet, but I expect she will call later.
K has never let a Mother's Day go by without getting me a card or a gift. This year was no exception. I actually thought he wasn't going to acknowledge the day, but he did--with a beautiful pair of earrings! Every day I realize what a great guy he is--I guess I'll keep him around for awhile longer!
So, to say it again:
Mother's Day is one of those holidays which has been rather hard for me over the years. Way too many years I have not been on good terms with my mother--this year is no exception. So, while I give her gifts and cards, I don't make a point of calling her to see how her day is going. No big deal--at least I acknowledge the day.
For far too many years, things haven't been good with one or the other of my girls, either. (Boy, I can't get along with ANYONE, can I?) This is the first year, in a long, long, time, where all is well. Today I can actually be happy that the day will be acknowledged by, at least one, of my kids. So far, C sent me an e-card and she said the "hard copy" cards will be here tomorrow or Tuesday. But that is expected from her--she is late for EVERYTHING! I haven't heard from A yet, but I expect she will call later.
K has never let a Mother's Day go by without getting me a card or a gift. This year was no exception. I actually thought he wasn't going to acknowledge the day, but he did--with a beautiful pair of earrings! Every day I realize what a great guy he is--I guess I'll keep him around for awhile longer!
So, to say it again:
Happy
Mother's
Day
Mother's
Day
Saturday, May 13, 2006
I Must Be Getting Better
So, here I sit eating popcorn and drinking Coke Zero--instead of downing shots of tequila. I surely MUST be getting better. Here's what happened:
This afternoon/evening, K and I had to head up north for his ex-brother-in-law's wake. His death was unexpected, but he went the way he wanted: quickly and painlessly. Anyway, we got up there and had to stop at a friend's greenhouse to pick up a mother's day gift for The Mother, then we went to C's to drop off her birthday gift and headed for The Parent's house. They weren't home, so we went to the funeral home. It wasn't a real somber affair, so we got to visit with people we haven't seen in years--actually some classmates of ours that we hadn't seen since graduation: a long, looooooong time ago! So, as far as wakes go, we had a (relatively) good time. Of course, The Parent's weren't home yet when we left the funeral home, so we went to K's sister's house, where everyone was going to go after the wake. We all ate--too much--and visited for awhile. One of the niece's lives in Phoenix, so it was nice to be able to catch up with her--don't get to see her nearly often enough. We had to bug out of there a bit early, as K has to work in the AM, so we made our way back to The Parent's.
When we got there they had company, but it was someone I have known my entire life, so there was no problem there. (Although, I think the woman is a bit cold to me--after all, it is my fault for what has happened. I'm not sure WHAT has happened, I just know it is my fault!) It was kind of a casual visit--not much conversation about anything too substantial. And it would have been okay if it would have been left like that, but noooooooo, The Mother just can't let well enough alone.
First of all, I now know what she is pissed about. (I have known she is pissed because I haven't heard from her since before the wedding--over six weeks ago.) We started talking about the party/reception that C is putting on for A in July, and The Mother told me--flat out--that I WILL be helping out with the party, because SHE is. Now, don't get me wrong, I AM going to do for the party. I already said I would buy the cake and I will make some food for it--I just am not in charge and don't feel as if I have to do a whole lot of work, considering it isn't my affair. I am having a party for A and her hubby in a week--I don't think I have to break my back when it comes to someone else's party! And I just want to sit and relax and enjoy the whole thing, not be stuck in the kitchen with the setting up, cleaning up, etc, and not even be appreciated or acknowledged for my effort! A and her husband would be grateful, but the rest of the bunch would act as if it was to be expected of me--and that I did nothing special. I know, cause it has happened many times before! K and I were going to have that be a weekend of enjoyment--our friends were going to be there and we were going to stay at the same hotel and visit and go to our old stomping grounds, etc--after all, we will all be back "home" together! Of course The Mother has to screw with my plans whenever she can. And this isn't even what got to me tonight!
The topper of the evening--and we were at their house 30-45 minutes, tops--was when she looked at me as if she didn't quite recognize my face. You know what I am talking about, when someone does a double-take, as if they don't believe what they are seeing. This happened just before we got ready to leave. Anyway, she looked at me as if there was something wrong and said, "Don't you wear contacts? Why aren't you wearing them?" Now, you have to understand, I WORE contacts almost 30 years ago, for about a year off-and-on. That is it--no more than that. And MY MOTHER acted as if she never saw me wearing glasses before tonight. I KNOW this is a little thing, but this is just a great illustration of what this woman is like--and why I wonder, many times, why I am not residing in that purple, padded room at the local hospital. And now you know why I must be getting better: because I AM NOT drinking shots of tequila as I sit here!
This afternoon/evening, K and I had to head up north for his ex-brother-in-law's wake. His death was unexpected, but he went the way he wanted: quickly and painlessly. Anyway, we got up there and had to stop at a friend's greenhouse to pick up a mother's day gift for The Mother, then we went to C's to drop off her birthday gift and headed for The Parent's house. They weren't home, so we went to the funeral home. It wasn't a real somber affair, so we got to visit with people we haven't seen in years--actually some classmates of ours that we hadn't seen since graduation: a long, looooooong time ago! So, as far as wakes go, we had a (relatively) good time. Of course, The Parent's weren't home yet when we left the funeral home, so we went to K's sister's house, where everyone was going to go after the wake. We all ate--too much--and visited for awhile. One of the niece's lives in Phoenix, so it was nice to be able to catch up with her--don't get to see her nearly often enough. We had to bug out of there a bit early, as K has to work in the AM, so we made our way back to The Parent's.
When we got there they had company, but it was someone I have known my entire life, so there was no problem there. (Although, I think the woman is a bit cold to me--after all, it is my fault for what has happened. I'm not sure WHAT has happened, I just know it is my fault!) It was kind of a casual visit--not much conversation about anything too substantial. And it would have been okay if it would have been left like that, but noooooooo, The Mother just can't let well enough alone.
First of all, I now know what she is pissed about. (I have known she is pissed because I haven't heard from her since before the wedding--over six weeks ago.) We started talking about the party/reception that C is putting on for A in July, and The Mother told me--flat out--that I WILL be helping out with the party, because SHE is. Now, don't get me wrong, I AM going to do for the party. I already said I would buy the cake and I will make some food for it--I just am not in charge and don't feel as if I have to do a whole lot of work, considering it isn't my affair. I am having a party for A and her hubby in a week--I don't think I have to break my back when it comes to someone else's party! And I just want to sit and relax and enjoy the whole thing, not be stuck in the kitchen with the setting up, cleaning up, etc, and not even be appreciated or acknowledged for my effort! A and her husband would be grateful, but the rest of the bunch would act as if it was to be expected of me--and that I did nothing special. I know, cause it has happened many times before! K and I were going to have that be a weekend of enjoyment--our friends were going to be there and we were going to stay at the same hotel and visit and go to our old stomping grounds, etc--after all, we will all be back "home" together! Of course The Mother has to screw with my plans whenever she can. And this isn't even what got to me tonight!
The topper of the evening--and we were at their house 30-45 minutes, tops--was when she looked at me as if she didn't quite recognize my face. You know what I am talking about, when someone does a double-take, as if they don't believe what they are seeing. This happened just before we got ready to leave. Anyway, she looked at me as if there was something wrong and said, "Don't you wear contacts? Why aren't you wearing them?" Now, you have to understand, I WORE contacts almost 30 years ago, for about a year off-and-on. That is it--no more than that. And MY MOTHER acted as if she never saw me wearing glasses before tonight. I KNOW this is a little thing, but this is just a great illustration of what this woman is like--and why I wonder, many times, why I am not residing in that purple, padded room at the local hospital. And now you know why I must be getting better: because I AM NOT drinking shots of tequila as I sit here!
Friday, May 12, 2006
Not The Sharpest Knife In The Drawer
From Popbitch:
On a fashion shoot in a derelict house, Kate Moss wanted to take a pee.
The assistant told her: "Well, there is a loo, but there's no door on it".
Kate replied: "Well how the f*** do I get in there then?"
An embarrassed silence ensued...
On a fashion shoot in a derelict house, Kate Moss wanted to take a pee.
The assistant told her: "Well, there is a loo, but there's no door on it".
Kate replied: "Well how the f*** do I get in there then?"
An embarrassed silence ensued...
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Worst Songs Revisited
I will now finish up the worst songs. I thought long and hard about it and finally came up with some I wish to nominate--but, first, some from my readers:
RT nominates "American Pie." I agree with what he said: I think we ALL know all of the words to the song--and not necessarily because we want to!
Yoopergirl chooses "Don't Worry, Be Happy." She also nominates "You Light Up My Life" and "Loving You." Don't worry about having "You Light Up My Life" as one of your wedding songs, yooper, the theme to my wedding was "We've Only Just Begun"--you know, the Carpenters!
LZ Blogger has a hate going for "Purple People Eater." Were there EVER any novelty songs that were any good? I couldn't abide "My Ding-a-ling!"
Doug: I guess "You Light Up My Life" might not have been as bad if it wasn't overplayed! I hated "Sound of Silence" for years after the radio stations wore out every copy ever made! (I believe I did read about Debby Boone afterward--and yes, it is nice to hear that some people have moral convictions they abide by.)
Red is not happy with "Mmm Bop." I agree it is one of those songs--along with most of these--that gets stuck in your head and you just want to use an ice pick to perform a lobotomy on yourself! Unfortunately, even that probably wouldn't wipe some of these out of your mind!
Now for a few of my nominations:
"Ben" by Michael Jackson has to be one of the stupidest songs. Excuse me! A love song to a rat?! I guess he has ALWAYS been strange.
"Ebony & Ivory" by Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder. "Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony/Side by side on my piano keyboard, Oh Lord, why don't we?" Enough said.
And finally, I have to nominate just about every song Paul McCartney has ever done without John Lennon. I guess their greatness was in their togetherness--at least Sir Paul's was!
And that--probably--concludes the worst songs! But then, you never know. After all, there are new songs coming out every day.
RT nominates "American Pie." I agree with what he said: I think we ALL know all of the words to the song--and not necessarily because we want to!
Yoopergirl chooses "Don't Worry, Be Happy." She also nominates "You Light Up My Life" and "Loving You." Don't worry about having "You Light Up My Life" as one of your wedding songs, yooper, the theme to my wedding was "We've Only Just Begun"--you know, the Carpenters!
LZ Blogger has a hate going for "Purple People Eater." Were there EVER any novelty songs that were any good? I couldn't abide "My Ding-a-ling!"
Doug: I guess "You Light Up My Life" might not have been as bad if it wasn't overplayed! I hated "Sound of Silence" for years after the radio stations wore out every copy ever made! (I believe I did read about Debby Boone afterward--and yes, it is nice to hear that some people have moral convictions they abide by.)
Red is not happy with "Mmm Bop." I agree it is one of those songs--along with most of these--that gets stuck in your head and you just want to use an ice pick to perform a lobotomy on yourself! Unfortunately, even that probably wouldn't wipe some of these out of your mind!
Now for a few of my nominations:
"Ben" by Michael Jackson has to be one of the stupidest songs. Excuse me! A love song to a rat?! I guess he has ALWAYS been strange.
"Ebony & Ivory" by Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder. "Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony/Side by side on my piano keyboard, Oh Lord, why don't we?" Enough said.
And finally, I have to nominate just about every song Paul McCartney has ever done without John Lennon. I guess their greatness was in their togetherness--at least Sir Paul's was!
And that--probably--concludes the worst songs! But then, you never know. After all, there are new songs coming out every day.
Snow, Birds In The Attic, and a Fun, Icky Fact
A few little items today:
We are under a severe weather watch for tonight into tomorrow--high winds, cold, rain turning to wet, heavy snow. Now, what was that they are talking about? Global warming?
Instead of bats in the belfry, we have birds in the attic--or, at least, in the eaves. I can see what kind of a summer this is going to be: first raccoons, now birds. Yippee!
Now for the fun, but icky, fact: A ten-year-old mattress weighs twice as much as it did when it was new. This is from all of the accumulated dust, debris, sweat, dirt, skin, dust mites, and all other nasties that make their way into the innards. And now I defy you to have a great night's sleep without thinking about this once! (Aren't I sassy!?) :)
We are under a severe weather watch for tonight into tomorrow--high winds, cold, rain turning to wet, heavy snow. Now, what was that they are talking about? Global warming?
Instead of bats in the belfry, we have birds in the attic--or, at least, in the eaves. I can see what kind of a summer this is going to be: first raccoons, now birds. Yippee!
Now for the fun, but icky, fact: A ten-year-old mattress weighs twice as much as it did when it was new. This is from all of the accumulated dust, debris, sweat, dirt, skin, dust mites, and all other nasties that make their way into the innards. And now I defy you to have a great night's sleep without thinking about this once! (Aren't I sassy!?) :)
Sunday, May 07, 2006
A Mother's Love
Well, I sure can rest easy now, cause mama raccoon came and moved her babes. It is nice to know we didn't screw up TOO much. I'm really not sure where she moved them to, but they are out of our house. The only problem now: are they all going to stick around forever? Just what I need, another family of animals who call my yard home! Animals sure are wonderful--even the ones you don't want in your house.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Critters and Creatures of All Sorts
For some reason or another, our house attracts all sorts of critters/pests. And I am talking about attracting them to come INSIDE of the house. This has been going on since we moved in and the list of things we have "boarded" just keeps getting longer. So far we have had: an infestation of carpenter ants, bats, mice, spiders, Japanese lady beetles, numerous wasp/hornet/ yellow jacket nests, birds (both alive and dead) in our chimneys, soffits, and attic--and I am sure there are others that I can't think of right now. We now have another species to add to the list--here's the story:
Last night around 6:30, I was getting ready to go out to do a short errand. While in the bathroom, I heard noises. Thinking they were coming from our neighbor's I investigated to see what they were doing. Turns out, I could hear the noises in the bathroom, sewing room, and pantry--coming from inside the wall. That is when I knew we had a new "tenant." Of course, K was on night shift, so I called him at work when I returned home. By this time, the noises had stopped, but I was not under the illusion that the critter had left my house. K said he would check on what was going on when he got home this morning and that is where it stayed all night. Considering the noises were so loud and consisted of scratching/gnawing sounds, I figured we had a chipmunk or squirrel inside the wall--K thought we had a bird.
We have a walk-out basement with stairs leading down from the outside. Over the stairs we have a shelf built for storage. Being the smart man that he is, K figured our creature was somewhere trapped in the stairwell, so he first went and looked into the door window to see what was there. Sure enough, when he shined the light onto the shelf, there were the two shiny black eyes of a raccoon looking back at him. Upon further investigation, he found out she was on her nest with her babies--all four of them. The noise I had heard was the raccoon trying to dig further into the house to get into the attic. Try as K might, she had no intention of leaving her comfy accommodations--except for trying the attic once more--until K pounded on the wall from in the attic. This caused mama to leave and we haven't seen her since. Of course, we left the door open all day so that she could rescue her babes, but it just didn't happen. It finally got so late--K had to go to work--that we couldn't wait for mama any longer. So the decision was made: the babes had to be dragged outside--with their nest--and hopefully mama will come back for them. I checked on them about an hour ago and she still hadn't returned.
I guess an argument could be made that we acted cruelly, but we didn't know what else to do. First, we couldn't just leave these critters in our house--the basement stairs lead directly into our living space. Second, we couldn't find any kind of wildlife rescue organization here in our area. And third, our local Humane Society is run by a bunch of wackos, so they were definitely out of the question. We figured we would let nature take its course--whether that means mama rescues her babes or another animal has a meal, so be it. Nature isn't always pretty.
Last night around 6:30, I was getting ready to go out to do a short errand. While in the bathroom, I heard noises. Thinking they were coming from our neighbor's I investigated to see what they were doing. Turns out, I could hear the noises in the bathroom, sewing room, and pantry--coming from inside the wall. That is when I knew we had a new "tenant." Of course, K was on night shift, so I called him at work when I returned home. By this time, the noises had stopped, but I was not under the illusion that the critter had left my house. K said he would check on what was going on when he got home this morning and that is where it stayed all night. Considering the noises were so loud and consisted of scratching/gnawing sounds, I figured we had a chipmunk or squirrel inside the wall--K thought we had a bird.
We have a walk-out basement with stairs leading down from the outside. Over the stairs we have a shelf built for storage. Being the smart man that he is, K figured our creature was somewhere trapped in the stairwell, so he first went and looked into the door window to see what was there. Sure enough, when he shined the light onto the shelf, there were the two shiny black eyes of a raccoon looking back at him. Upon further investigation, he found out she was on her nest with her babies--all four of them. The noise I had heard was the raccoon trying to dig further into the house to get into the attic. Try as K might, she had no intention of leaving her comfy accommodations--except for trying the attic once more--until K pounded on the wall from in the attic. This caused mama to leave and we haven't seen her since. Of course, we left the door open all day so that she could rescue her babes, but it just didn't happen. It finally got so late--K had to go to work--that we couldn't wait for mama any longer. So the decision was made: the babes had to be dragged outside--with their nest--and hopefully mama will come back for them. I checked on them about an hour ago and she still hadn't returned.
I guess an argument could be made that we acted cruelly, but we didn't know what else to do. First, we couldn't just leave these critters in our house--the basement stairs lead directly into our living space. Second, we couldn't find any kind of wildlife rescue organization here in our area. And third, our local Humane Society is run by a bunch of wackos, so they were definitely out of the question. We figured we would let nature take its course--whether that means mama rescues her babes or another animal has a meal, so be it. Nature isn't always pretty.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Giving Birth
On 4 May 1978--28 years ago--I gave birth to my first child. My first child is having a crisis because she is "so old!" I just laughed when she said she will have a breakdown when she turns 30. I told her getting older is a whole lot better than the alternative--and, besides, as her mother, I really don't feel old enough to have a 28 year old daughter and 5 grandchildren. It is all in the way you look at things.
Twenty eight years and a few days ago, I really wasn't feeling too well. The pregnancy wasn't the easiest time I had in my life. I had borderline toxemia and was put on a no/low-salt diet. This had been going on for weeks and I was sick to death of only eating salt-free bread, fruit, fresh veggies, and peanut butter. There wasn't a snack food around that I could eat and don't even get me started about how much I missed fast food! And besides all that, I looked like I was smuggling an over-inflated beach ball under my shirt. And I was puffy from retaining water, too. None of that "pregnancy glow" that you see on other women. I was fat, bloated, had high blood pressure, was cranky and irritable, and still had three weeks before the "blessed event" was to take place. I felt as if I had been pregnant for the better part of three years and was not happy about it.
Sometime around the first of May, I had started to feel like I was experiencing contractions. Well, I asked other women about it, called my doctor's office, etc., and everyone told me it wasn't time. Okay, fine. I wasn't feeling too much like I was in labor and there wasn't any rhyme or reason to the pains, so I ignored how I was feeling. I kept getting these pains off and on for the next few days. On May 4, I had a morning appointment at the doctor's office and told the nurse what was going on. Her take on the whole thing? "Oh, well, you might be starting labor, but then you might not. We'll see you for your next appointment on Monday."
For the rest of the day I tried to relax and forget about the pains. I tried timing them and they weren't getting any closer and weren't getting regular. I figured it was just another one of those things they forgot to tell us about in birthing classes. After all, the way it was explained to us was this: you begin labor pains, they increasingly get stronger, your water breaks, you go to the hospital, you give birth. Simple. I sat around all day waiting for my water to break.
Around 6:00 PM, I finally got K up--he had been on midnight shift the night before and was still sleeping. I told him that I really felt lousy and he should call the hospital. When he explained to the nurse what was going on, she kind of dismissed it, but told us to come in and they would check me, but I probably would just have to turn around and go right back home. All this time I was getting stronger pains, but still didn't think I was in labor because my water hadn't broken. So, off we went to the hospital. Because we didn't think there was anything going on, we took the long route to get there--just sightseeing along the way.
Several times at home and in the car I felt an intense pressure making me feel as if I had to go to the bathroom. I also experienced the same in the vestibule of the hospital. Again, I didn't think anything of it. We finally got to the OB floor and the nurse took us into a room so I could be examined. They all took their sweet time getting me ready and they had the unit clerk come in to get my information, etc. Everything was very leisurely and calm. Then the nurse examined me. Her face went white. She yelled out to the first person who walked by the room, "Get the doctor here, STAT! She's dilated 10! She's about to deliver!"
Things started to get hectic. I don't remember much of what went on. I was in full labor, about to drop my kid, and I was told I couldn't do anything about it until the doctor got to the hospital. Oh, yay. They got me into a gown and to the delivery room. (This was back in the days before you had birthing suites.) I was put on the delivery table, strapped down, had an IV inserted, and had to wait until the doctor showed up. He barely walked into the room, gave me my epidural and held out his hands to catch my 5 pound little girl. From the moment I arrived at the hospital till I gave birth to C, 45 minutes had passed. I cut it a little close.
Twenty eight years and a few days ago, I really wasn't feeling too well. The pregnancy wasn't the easiest time I had in my life. I had borderline toxemia and was put on a no/low-salt diet. This had been going on for weeks and I was sick to death of only eating salt-free bread, fruit, fresh veggies, and peanut butter. There wasn't a snack food around that I could eat and don't even get me started about how much I missed fast food! And besides all that, I looked like I was smuggling an over-inflated beach ball under my shirt. And I was puffy from retaining water, too. None of that "pregnancy glow" that you see on other women. I was fat, bloated, had high blood pressure, was cranky and irritable, and still had three weeks before the "blessed event" was to take place. I felt as if I had been pregnant for the better part of three years and was not happy about it.
Sometime around the first of May, I had started to feel like I was experiencing contractions. Well, I asked other women about it, called my doctor's office, etc., and everyone told me it wasn't time. Okay, fine. I wasn't feeling too much like I was in labor and there wasn't any rhyme or reason to the pains, so I ignored how I was feeling. I kept getting these pains off and on for the next few days. On May 4, I had a morning appointment at the doctor's office and told the nurse what was going on. Her take on the whole thing? "Oh, well, you might be starting labor, but then you might not. We'll see you for your next appointment on Monday."
For the rest of the day I tried to relax and forget about the pains. I tried timing them and they weren't getting any closer and weren't getting regular. I figured it was just another one of those things they forgot to tell us about in birthing classes. After all, the way it was explained to us was this: you begin labor pains, they increasingly get stronger, your water breaks, you go to the hospital, you give birth. Simple. I sat around all day waiting for my water to break.
Around 6:00 PM, I finally got K up--he had been on midnight shift the night before and was still sleeping. I told him that I really felt lousy and he should call the hospital. When he explained to the nurse what was going on, she kind of dismissed it, but told us to come in and they would check me, but I probably would just have to turn around and go right back home. All this time I was getting stronger pains, but still didn't think I was in labor because my water hadn't broken. So, off we went to the hospital. Because we didn't think there was anything going on, we took the long route to get there--just sightseeing along the way.
Several times at home and in the car I felt an intense pressure making me feel as if I had to go to the bathroom. I also experienced the same in the vestibule of the hospital. Again, I didn't think anything of it. We finally got to the OB floor and the nurse took us into a room so I could be examined. They all took their sweet time getting me ready and they had the unit clerk come in to get my information, etc. Everything was very leisurely and calm. Then the nurse examined me. Her face went white. She yelled out to the first person who walked by the room, "Get the doctor here, STAT! She's dilated 10! She's about to deliver!"
Things started to get hectic. I don't remember much of what went on. I was in full labor, about to drop my kid, and I was told I couldn't do anything about it until the doctor got to the hospital. Oh, yay. They got me into a gown and to the delivery room. (This was back in the days before you had birthing suites.) I was put on the delivery table, strapped down, had an IV inserted, and had to wait until the doctor showed up. He barely walked into the room, gave me my epidural and held out his hands to catch my 5 pound little girl. From the moment I arrived at the hospital till I gave birth to C, 45 minutes had passed. I cut it a little close.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Today's Top Ten List
Top Ten Things Men Understand About Women
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Just smile and send it on. :)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Just smile and send it on. :)
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Life Goes On
I can't believe it has been so many days since I actually posted, but life has been a bit hectic. Here's what has been going on:
On Sunday we had to go to Rhinelander to see K's sister , who took an early retirement staring last Friday. She said she didn't want a party and we said, "Who cares! PARTY TIME!!!!!" So the extended fam and some close friends descended on their house and we had food for days--and ate it all in a matter of a few hours! Needless to say, I felt like a tick full of a blood meal on our drive back home.
We got home in the early evening and I had to start getting us ready to go to Appleton for Monday and Tuesday. Of course, we didn't think past our a--holes or we could have just stayed at the sis's and left from there on Monday morning. K and I have gotten into the habit/routine/agreement of: he will do all the driving on our trips and I will do everything else. This means I get the house taken care of, the cat squared away, the packing done, the garbage done, call-forwarding set, etc., etc., etc. So this is another reason I sleep when we travel: I'm exhausted by the time we hit the dusty trail!
Our routine is pretty well set when we get to Appleton: eat breakfast, do some shopping, check-in at the hotel, more shopping, back to the hotel, go out to eat with J & S, go to the next eating establishment for dessert, back to the hotel to sleep, breakfast in the AM, finish shopping, head back home. Not what you would actually call a vacation, but it sure breaks up the daily routine at home. And K really needed the time away: he finally finished up the overtime work. He went over thirty days without a day off. Poor guy was tired.
I am in the beginning planning stages for the open-house we are giving A and the new hubby later this month. There won't be all that many people here, but in our relatively small place, it will seem like a lot. I also have the UP Finnish mentality about food: you NEVER run out of anything your guests might want, so you make (at the very least) twice as much food as you could possibly need. That said, I have to start getting food preparation done beginning yesterday! So much to do, so little time. But it will be fun.
While I am not prepared to talk about it--emotionally I am a wreck--the Red Wings lost their game last night and are out of the playoffs in the first round. The memorial service will be held at a later date. (In other words: the Red Wings are dead to me! And this will last all of about three days and I will start planning for next year--THE YEAR THEY WILL WIN IT ALL!! Lord Stanley's Cup will, once again, be with it's rightful owners: the Detroit Red Wings!)
I will wait till later in the week, hoping to get more comments on the worst songs of all time, and then I will list them in a regular post--along with some that drive me insane. Tell everyone you know to give suggestions and I will list them all then.
On Sunday we had to go to Rhinelander to see K's sister , who took an early retirement staring last Friday. She said she didn't want a party and we said, "Who cares! PARTY TIME!!!!!" So the extended fam and some close friends descended on their house and we had food for days--and ate it all in a matter of a few hours! Needless to say, I felt like a tick full of a blood meal on our drive back home.
We got home in the early evening and I had to start getting us ready to go to Appleton for Monday and Tuesday. Of course, we didn't think past our a--holes or we could have just stayed at the sis's and left from there on Monday morning. K and I have gotten into the habit/routine/agreement of: he will do all the driving on our trips and I will do everything else. This means I get the house taken care of, the cat squared away, the packing done, the garbage done, call-forwarding set, etc., etc., etc. So this is another reason I sleep when we travel: I'm exhausted by the time we hit the dusty trail!
Our routine is pretty well set when we get to Appleton: eat breakfast, do some shopping, check-in at the hotel, more shopping, back to the hotel, go out to eat with J & S, go to the next eating establishment for dessert, back to the hotel to sleep, breakfast in the AM, finish shopping, head back home. Not what you would actually call a vacation, but it sure breaks up the daily routine at home. And K really needed the time away: he finally finished up the overtime work. He went over thirty days without a day off. Poor guy was tired.
I am in the beginning planning stages for the open-house we are giving A and the new hubby later this month. There won't be all that many people here, but in our relatively small place, it will seem like a lot. I also have the UP Finnish mentality about food: you NEVER run out of anything your guests might want, so you make (at the very least) twice as much food as you could possibly need. That said, I have to start getting food preparation done beginning yesterday! So much to do, so little time. But it will be fun.
While I am not prepared to talk about it--emotionally I am a wreck--the Red Wings lost their game last night and are out of the playoffs in the first round. The memorial service will be held at a later date. (In other words: the Red Wings are dead to me! And this will last all of about three days and I will start planning for next year--THE YEAR THEY WILL WIN IT ALL!! Lord Stanley's Cup will, once again, be with it's rightful owners: the Detroit Red Wings!)
I will wait till later in the week, hoping to get more comments on the worst songs of all time, and then I will list them in a regular post--along with some that drive me insane. Tell everyone you know to give suggestions and I will list them all then.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Songs You Love To Hate and Some Cuteness
Over on CNN.com they have a story about the worst songs of all time. I guess they asked their readers to send them their choices and they have published the five top vote-getters. Here they are:
5. "Seasons in the Sun," by Terry Jacks. This is a definite classic. If you don't remember this, it is only because you don't know the title. I can GUARANTEE you have heard it at some point in your life.
4. "I've Never Been To Me," by Charlene. I am sure I have heard this, but it really doesn't ring a bell.
3. "You Light Up My Life," by Debby Boone. This one has to be the most over-played song of all time. Even if you DID like it when it first came out, you were trying to gouge out your eardrums with anything handy (paper clips, soup spoons, car keys, pencils, etc.) by the time they stopped playing it.
2. "Muskrat Love," by The Captain and Tennille. What more can you say.
And the all time worst song, as voted by the people:
1. "(You're) Having My Baby," by Paul Anka. WHAT was he thinking?
I'm not sure if I feel these were MY top five worst songs, but they sure are at the top of my list. I will think on it for a few days and post some of my picks. What are YOUR picks for worst songs? You can read the rest of the article here.
For those of you who take exception to "Muskrat Love" being named a bad song, you can go here for some of the cutest darn pictures of otters you have ever seen. I believe a muskrat is just another name for a river otter. (We used to have a family living in the stream that used to run next to The Parent's house when I was growing up. Totally adorable.)
5. "Seasons in the Sun," by Terry Jacks. This is a definite classic. If you don't remember this, it is only because you don't know the title. I can GUARANTEE you have heard it at some point in your life.
4. "I've Never Been To Me," by Charlene. I am sure I have heard this, but it really doesn't ring a bell.
3. "You Light Up My Life," by Debby Boone. This one has to be the most over-played song of all time. Even if you DID like it when it first came out, you were trying to gouge out your eardrums with anything handy (paper clips, soup spoons, car keys, pencils, etc.) by the time they stopped playing it.
2. "Muskrat Love," by The Captain and Tennille. What more can you say.
And the all time worst song, as voted by the people:
1. "(You're) Having My Baby," by Paul Anka. WHAT was he thinking?
I'm not sure if I feel these were MY top five worst songs, but they sure are at the top of my list. I will think on it for a few days and post some of my picks. What are YOUR picks for worst songs? You can read the rest of the article here.
For those of you who take exception to "Muskrat Love" being named a bad song, you can go here for some of the cutest darn pictures of otters you have ever seen. I believe a muskrat is just another name for a river otter. (We used to have a family living in the stream that used to run next to The Parent's house when I was growing up. Totally adorable.)
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
No More Noise Or Smell
While I agree it is a problem, I think this has to be a slow news day in order to generate SO many world-wide headlines for this story: gas-free beans. The headlines in Australia are: Fart-free beans and Not to be sniffed at: a chance for bean-eaters to go fart-free. The UK says: Beans That Don't Give You Wind and Experts make flatulence-free bean. In the US: Study shows secret to gas-free beans and Helping Beans Run Out Of Gas. Just wanted everyone to know the problem had been solved, so you can have baked beans at ALL of your summer barbeques this year!
I Cannot Believe It
I'm still in a state of shock. Halfway through the second overtime period, Edmonton scored and won the game. They now lead 2-1 in the series. I am sad. I will now go and overeat to try and heal my shattered soul. Next game: Thursday.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
mental_floss
I get a variety of magazines every month--and I ACTUALLY read them. There is Time, (to keep me informed,) People, (because I'm nosy,) a couple of "women's" magazines, (because I'm, well...) three, yes THREE, computer mags, and mental_floss. I used to get more, but decided to downsize--there are, after all, only so many hours in each day!
mental_floss is a magazine of trivia. But it isn't presented in the normal way trivia is; i.e., as lists of facts. The style is very informative, educational, and a bit snarky, but thoroughly enjoyable. It really is the best $21.97 I spend every year. The biggest problem I have with the mag is that it only comes out 6 times a year. It is absolute hell waiting for the next issue to arrive, as I devour the issues as soon as I get them. Happily, they have a website where I can get my daily dose of trivia AND their daily quiz, which I usually fail. Anyone who professes to be a "knowledge junky" should go to the site and enjoy. And, just maybe, if enough people subscribe, the mag MAY start being a monthly! I can dream, can't I?
mental_floss is a magazine of trivia. But it isn't presented in the normal way trivia is; i.e., as lists of facts. The style is very informative, educational, and a bit snarky, but thoroughly enjoyable. It really is the best $21.97 I spend every year. The biggest problem I have with the mag is that it only comes out 6 times a year. It is absolute hell waiting for the next issue to arrive, as I devour the issues as soon as I get them. Happily, they have a website where I can get my daily dose of trivia AND their daily quiz, which I usually fail. Anyone who professes to be a "knowledge junky" should go to the site and enjoy. And, just maybe, if enough people subscribe, the mag MAY start being a monthly! I can dream, can't I?
Monday, April 24, 2006
Monday Blahs
You would think a person who is a stay-at-home wouldn't get the Monday blahs. I don't know what it is about Monday, but it isn't a favorite day of the week. I suppose the fact that it is cloudy, cool, and grey outside has something to do with the way I am feeling. It is supposed to rain/snow tonight. Yeah.
I usually have tons of phone calls to make on Mondays. You know the kind: those phone calls that you think about making all weekend long but can't because the people you need to talk to don't work weekends. For someone who lives with a shift worker, businesses that don't have weekend hours just seem so wrong on so many levels. Or, are businesses WITH weekend hours the ones that are wrong?
K is in the middle of his fourth week without a day off--and I am the one feeling burnt out! How can that be? Right now he is scheduled to be off on Friday and we won't know till Thursday whether or not that will happen. Yeah: overtime--feast or famine. Well, we need the money as car insurance is going to be due and we have to pay off our trip to Canada. Another thing to be mad at Canada for: K having to work overtime! (j/k) :) K works at an electrical power plant, so, being a public utility, workers can be FORCED to work overtime if the need exists. K does mostly volunteer overtime 'cause he can pick and choose his times and days to work, rather than have them dictate to him.
I'm still trying to get over the Red Wings losing to Edmonton yesterday--this after BARELY winning the first game of the series! I hate to say it, but, if they don't start playing any better, and lose the series, they deserve it. The Wings had the best record in the league and Edmonton JUST made it into the playoffs, yet they are making life hell for the Wings--what gives? Hopefully tomorrow's game will be A LOT better. Go Wings?
I usually have tons of phone calls to make on Mondays. You know the kind: those phone calls that you think about making all weekend long but can't because the people you need to talk to don't work weekends. For someone who lives with a shift worker, businesses that don't have weekend hours just seem so wrong on so many levels. Or, are businesses WITH weekend hours the ones that are wrong?
K is in the middle of his fourth week without a day off--and I am the one feeling burnt out! How can that be? Right now he is scheduled to be off on Friday and we won't know till Thursday whether or not that will happen. Yeah: overtime--feast or famine. Well, we need the money as car insurance is going to be due and we have to pay off our trip to Canada. Another thing to be mad at Canada for: K having to work overtime! (j/k) :) K works at an electrical power plant, so, being a public utility, workers can be FORCED to work overtime if the need exists. K does mostly volunteer overtime 'cause he can pick and choose his times and days to work, rather than have them dictate to him.
I'm still trying to get over the Red Wings losing to Edmonton yesterday--this after BARELY winning the first game of the series! I hate to say it, but, if they don't start playing any better, and lose the series, they deserve it. The Wings had the best record in the league and Edmonton JUST made it into the playoffs, yet they are making life hell for the Wings--what gives? Hopefully tomorrow's game will be A LOT better. Go Wings?
Friday, April 21, 2006
New Rules For 2006
I got this as an email claiming it was written by George Carlin,--his site says it wasn't--I found it quite amusing no matter who wrote it! Enjoy reading and have a great weekend!
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're gay. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket - water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the a**hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge a**hole.
New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your webcam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
New Rules for 2006
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're gay. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket - water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the a**hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge a**hole.
New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your webcam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Getting More Famous
I was going to make note of the fact that I have had more than 1500 visitors to this blog, but the number came and went before I had a chance! People continue to come here from the article with my quote in it--amazing what will bring people. And I truly am amazed at the people who actually stay for awhile and read the posts. I guess they aren't ONLY interested in tech talk, even if they are geeks or work in the technology field. :)
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Cat Lover
I love cats. I know, this makes me less of a good person in some people's eyes, but, whatever. Cats are not like dogs--DUH! Dogs will crawl all over themselves just to make a person happy--cats couldn't care less if their person is happy. As long as a cat is fed, the litter is clean, and they can sleep where ever and whenever they want, it's good enough for them. I love cats' "I don't give a shit" attitude. And cats definitely have a lot of attitude. The world would be a better place if more of us were a little bit like cats: just do what we WANT, not what others always think we should. (That is, as long as we aren't hurting anyone.)
My cat is the queen of the world--and she lets me know that at every opportunity. She came in bed with me again last night, and proceeded to sleep across my left leg. Now, this wouldn't be that big of a problem except for the fact she weighs somewhere in the vicinity of 16 pounds! This really is a bit uncomfortable for me, but does she care? NOOOOOO!!!!!! She is happy and comfortable, so I should be okay with that. And she has the gall to give me dirty looks if I try to move her! Queen of the world, like I said!
The attitude of hers that I can really do without is the one where she feels she doesn't have to work for her keep. You know, where she could be catching flies, spiders, and various other bugs, or catching, and killing, the occasional mouse I get in the house. But will she put herself out enough to help me? Again, NOOOOOO!!!!!! If there is a fly in the window, she will sit on the windowsill and call for me, asking me to kill the damn thing. Once it is dead, she will sniff it and then leave for her post-breakfast, pre-snack, nap. Thank you very much! And she was NO help with the last mouse we had--she just sat there and stared at it, looking at me every once in awhile as if to say, "Well, are you going to DO something about this?" And she doesn't even have the decency to act embarrassed by this! She has forgotten that her cousins are the king of the jungle, obviously.
Another attitude she has is the one where she ALLOWS me to pet her--and I should be grateful for the opportunity, in her eyes. Of course, she is not happy if I should decide to stop petting her before she is done being petted. The act of stopping too soon will produce a series of headbumps to my leg--actually hard enough to leave bruises, sometimes--until I resume the petting. Oh, the life of a cat! If there was such a thing as reincarnation, I would LOVE to come back as a cat living in a household like mine--then I could be queen of the world, too.
Here is a picture of her sunning herself:
And here is picture of her being quite indifferent:
She IS one fluffy kitty cat!
My cat is the queen of the world--and she lets me know that at every opportunity. She came in bed with me again last night, and proceeded to sleep across my left leg. Now, this wouldn't be that big of a problem except for the fact she weighs somewhere in the vicinity of 16 pounds! This really is a bit uncomfortable for me, but does she care? NOOOOOO!!!!!! She is happy and comfortable, so I should be okay with that. And she has the gall to give me dirty looks if I try to move her! Queen of the world, like I said!
The attitude of hers that I can really do without is the one where she feels she doesn't have to work for her keep. You know, where she could be catching flies, spiders, and various other bugs, or catching, and killing, the occasional mouse I get in the house. But will she put herself out enough to help me? Again, NOOOOOO!!!!!! If there is a fly in the window, she will sit on the windowsill and call for me, asking me to kill the damn thing. Once it is dead, she will sniff it and then leave for her post-breakfast, pre-snack, nap. Thank you very much! And she was NO help with the last mouse we had--she just sat there and stared at it, looking at me every once in awhile as if to say, "Well, are you going to DO something about this?" And she doesn't even have the decency to act embarrassed by this! She has forgotten that her cousins are the king of the jungle, obviously.
Another attitude she has is the one where she ALLOWS me to pet her--and I should be grateful for the opportunity, in her eyes. Of course, she is not happy if I should decide to stop petting her before she is done being petted. The act of stopping too soon will produce a series of headbumps to my leg--actually hard enough to leave bruises, sometimes--until I resume the petting. Oh, the life of a cat! If there was such a thing as reincarnation, I would LOVE to come back as a cat living in a household like mine--then I could be queen of the world, too.
Here is a picture of her sunning herself:
And here is picture of her being quite indifferent:
She IS one fluffy kitty cat!
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
On To The Playoffs!
I'm sitting here feeling a bit depressed because the Red Wings lost their last regular season game tonight. Even though it didn't mean a thing in terms of standings, etc., it would have been nice for them to go into the playoffs with a win. Oh, well, Friday starts the playoffs and, essentially a whole new season. They will be playing Edmonton for the first round and I am hopeful they will do well--the regular season was absolutely awesome for them, so they have a good chance for the Cup this year. We will see.
If all of the rounds go the full seven games to determine the winners, we could be watching hockey all the way into June! Yeah! It would be nice, but I couldn't take that many nerve-wracking games, so I will hope for easy, short rounds and a quick end to the season--hopefully with the Red Wings bringing home the Cup! Go Wings!
If all of the rounds go the full seven games to determine the winners, we could be watching hockey all the way into June! Yeah! It would be nice, but I couldn't take that many nerve-wracking games, so I will hope for easy, short rounds and a quick end to the season--hopefully with the Red Wings bringing home the Cup! Go Wings!
About My Youngest
I talk so much about my oldest daughter, it is easy to forget I actually have TWO children. Of course, the youngest, A, did get a lot of coverage lately because of the wedding, but I thought I would post a bit of an update on her today.
Last night A and I had a marathon phone session: we talked for over 4 hours! We both were home alone as our husbands were working, so it was a good time to catch up on what all has been going on. She and her husband are finally settled in to their new place--they had to start packing as soon as they got home from the wedding, as they only had four days to move from where they were living. I guess they are almost completely unpacked. If this is true, I give her a lot of credit--I STILL have a couple of boxes that were never unpacked after we moved into this house: 25+ years ago!
A works as a vet tech in a veterinarian's office. (DUH!) She is somewhat of a phenomenon when it comes to handling animals. I have never seen anyone who could become "friends" with every animal she comes across as easily as A can. She loves the animals and they love her--she could be a female Dr. Dolittle! Whenever I think of the book "The Horse Whisperer," I think that A could be just like the guy in the book. She is a wonder to watch whenever she is with an animal. (She cannot abide snakes or rats, though--will not work with them if she can help it. The practice she is at does not handle reptiles and only one of the drs. handles rodents--and he isn't the dr. she works for. She got lucky.)
A and her husband have three pets--ONLY three?--a dog and two cats. While the cats are allowed to be just cats, the dog is being trained. Last night when we were talking, I heard a bell. When I asked her what that noise was, she informed me that the dog rang the bell to let her know he wanted to go outside! EXCUSE ME!!!!! One smart dog, that one is.
A and her husband had their first wedding party over the weekend. I think this "almost eloping" might be the way to go when getting married: when all is said and done, they will have had AT LEAST four separate parties/receptions! Her friends from work threw the party last weekend, I will have a small get-together here at the house in May, and in June there will be one at her in-laws' place, and C will have a party for them up north! They should have a nice haul when it is all over with! :) And the best part of all: I WILL NOT HAVE TO DO TOO MUCH PLANNING OR WORK!! YIPPEE!!
(An update: I am still getting quite a few hits from the article I was quoted in. I am amused!)
Last night A and I had a marathon phone session: we talked for over 4 hours! We both were home alone as our husbands were working, so it was a good time to catch up on what all has been going on. She and her husband are finally settled in to their new place--they had to start packing as soon as they got home from the wedding, as they only had four days to move from where they were living. I guess they are almost completely unpacked. If this is true, I give her a lot of credit--I STILL have a couple of boxes that were never unpacked after we moved into this house: 25+ years ago!
A works as a vet tech in a veterinarian's office. (DUH!) She is somewhat of a phenomenon when it comes to handling animals. I have never seen anyone who could become "friends" with every animal she comes across as easily as A can. She loves the animals and they love her--she could be a female Dr. Dolittle! Whenever I think of the book "The Horse Whisperer," I think that A could be just like the guy in the book. She is a wonder to watch whenever she is with an animal. (She cannot abide snakes or rats, though--will not work with them if she can help it. The practice she is at does not handle reptiles and only one of the drs. handles rodents--and he isn't the dr. she works for. She got lucky.)
A and her husband have three pets--ONLY three?--a dog and two cats. While the cats are allowed to be just cats, the dog is being trained. Last night when we were talking, I heard a bell. When I asked her what that noise was, she informed me that the dog rang the bell to let her know he wanted to go outside! EXCUSE ME!!!!! One smart dog, that one is.
A and her husband had their first wedding party over the weekend. I think this "almost eloping" might be the way to go when getting married: when all is said and done, they will have had AT LEAST four separate parties/receptions! Her friends from work threw the party last weekend, I will have a small get-together here at the house in May, and in June there will be one at her in-laws' place, and C will have a party for them up north! They should have a nice haul when it is all over with! :) And the best part of all: I WILL NOT HAVE TO DO TOO MUCH PLANNING OR WORK!! YIPPEE!!
(An update: I am still getting quite a few hits from the article I was quoted in. I am amused!)
Almost Famous...
...well, among certain geeks, maybe? Here's the story:
I couldn't quite figure out why I had so many hits here yesterday and then I went to my tracker and found most of the people came here from another site--a comment/review blog post about the Dell E1505, my laptop model. Turns out, my comments about my new laptop were quoted in this article. Who would have thought I would have been quoted by some geek--and who would have thought I could actually sound knowledgeable and articulate about something relating to computers! I am humbled over the fact that Mr. Moltzen thought I sounded informed enough to quote me! Thank you so much, Mr. Moltzen, for the boost to my ego! You made my day.
I couldn't quite figure out why I had so many hits here yesterday and then I went to my tracker and found most of the people came here from another site--a comment/review blog post about the Dell E1505, my laptop model. Turns out, my comments about my new laptop were quoted in this article. Who would have thought I would have been quoted by some geek--and who would have thought I could actually sound knowledgeable and articulate about something relating to computers! I am humbled over the fact that Mr. Moltzen thought I sounded informed enough to quote me! Thank you so much, Mr. Moltzen, for the boost to my ego! You made my day.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
T-Shirt Slogans
Here are some of my fav t-shirt slogans:
--Some days, it's not even worth chewing through the restraints.
--It's Better To Have Loved & Lost Than To Live With The Psycho The Rest Of Your Life
--With Luck & Planning I'll Retire at 149
--I'm only wearing black until they make something darker.
--Good Morning is an oxymoron.
--My mind's been gone for years. I hardly miss it.
--I work for the fun of it. It sure ain't for the pay.
--Am I getting older or is the supermarket playing great music?
--They say I have A.D.D. but they just don't understand. Oh Look! A chicken!
--Most of the people who drive me nuts are in my family.
--I've stopped listening-why haven't you stopped talking?
--Some days, it's not even worth chewing through the restraints.
--It's Better To Have Loved & Lost Than To Live With The Psycho The Rest Of Your Life
--With Luck & Planning I'll Retire at 149
--I'm only wearing black until they make something darker.
--Good Morning is an oxymoron.
--My mind's been gone for years. I hardly miss it.
--I work for the fun of it. It sure ain't for the pay.
--Am I getting older or is the supermarket playing great music?
--They say I have A.D.D. but they just don't understand. Oh Look! A chicken!
--Most of the people who drive me nuts are in my family.
--I've stopped listening-why haven't you stopped talking?
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Trip Pics
Nothing exciting happening in my life right now, so I decided to post a few more pictures from our trip.
This is a place that is down from the actual falls. It is called the whirlpool, I believe. The cables you see are for the cablecar that runs between the American and Canadian sides. It wasn't running while we were there--the off-season, you know--but I'm not sure I would have ridden in the car, anyway!
In this picture, you just MIGHT be able to see
the cable car parked on the American side. It is that little, red thing at the top of the pic, right in the middle.It definitely would be a bit of a drop if anything happened while you were halfway across!
Here's another shot of the whirlpool, looking
down-river.And one last shot looking up-river.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Another Wedding Pic
Here is one more pic of the happy couple right after the ceremony. I thought it was rather nice. :)
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Getting To Know You
Well, actually, I'm getting to know my laptop. I am actually writing this post on it. So far, so good.
I got the laptop on Wednesday and spent that night and Thursday getting it to behave like my desktop--or, at least, as close as possible. I put Thunderbird and Firefox on here and changed all the settings to make it as familiar as I could. I even put my Red Wings background as wallpaper! It all seemed to be going okay and then some glitches reared their ugly heads--only ONE of which I was responsible for creating. I couldn't figure my way out of the mess I was in, so I had to restore this thing back to the way it was when I got it--two days worth of work down the drain!
On Friday I restored everything back to original and started all over again. Luckily, I had just been through everything, so it took much less time to work on settings, etc. All was going well and then a program started to try to update itself and I kept getting error messages and nothing I did worked. By that time, I was tired and shut down for the night.
Saturday evening I finally felt up to trying again. I vowed to myself that I WAS NOT going to call tech support. Sorry, but most of them don't know much more than I do about how to fix these problems. And the reason I say this is, their first and "best" fix for any problem is reformatting the hard drive and reinstalling the OS. Not gonna happen if I can help it! So I decided to find a solution on my own and turned to Google. Turns out, the problem I had wasn't all that uncommon and it was easily fixed. This brought me to a conclusion: computer manufacturers PURPOSELY have sent their tech support overseas so that we won't use it--we can't understand most of them, anyway. This forces us to try to fix the problem on our own--which might or might not happen. Best case scenario is that you can find a solution, as I did. OR you can screw the thing up so much that you have to pay the manufacturer to fix it, and this helps them make more money. A method to the madness.
Although this thing is pretty close to how my desktop is, it still isn't the same--and never will be. I'm having some problems with configuring one of my email accounts, but it really doesn't matter: I can just go online to check it. Also, I will never be able to do some of the things on this that I can on my desktop: photo editing and storage, or storing a lot of music. But, that's what a desktop is for. While I'm happy with this laptop, it isn't what I REALLY want. (See the post from 21 November 2005.) It isn't nearly as powerful as I want, but it is more than adequate for what I NEED. Let's have a drumroll, people, and then you can follow this link to see my newest baby, a Dell Inspiron E1505! (Mine is the second one from the right--the one that says it's for music and pictures.) Pretty, isn't it?
I got the laptop on Wednesday and spent that night and Thursday getting it to behave like my desktop--or, at least, as close as possible. I put Thunderbird and Firefox on here and changed all the settings to make it as familiar as I could. I even put my Red Wings background as wallpaper! It all seemed to be going okay and then some glitches reared their ugly heads--only ONE of which I was responsible for creating. I couldn't figure my way out of the mess I was in, so I had to restore this thing back to the way it was when I got it--two days worth of work down the drain!
On Friday I restored everything back to original and started all over again. Luckily, I had just been through everything, so it took much less time to work on settings, etc. All was going well and then a program started to try to update itself and I kept getting error messages and nothing I did worked. By that time, I was tired and shut down for the night.
Saturday evening I finally felt up to trying again. I vowed to myself that I WAS NOT going to call tech support. Sorry, but most of them don't know much more than I do about how to fix these problems. And the reason I say this is, their first and "best" fix for any problem is reformatting the hard drive and reinstalling the OS. Not gonna happen if I can help it! So I decided to find a solution on my own and turned to Google. Turns out, the problem I had wasn't all that uncommon and it was easily fixed. This brought me to a conclusion: computer manufacturers PURPOSELY have sent their tech support overseas so that we won't use it--we can't understand most of them, anyway. This forces us to try to fix the problem on our own--which might or might not happen. Best case scenario is that you can find a solution, as I did. OR you can screw the thing up so much that you have to pay the manufacturer to fix it, and this helps them make more money. A method to the madness.
Although this thing is pretty close to how my desktop is, it still isn't the same--and never will be. I'm having some problems with configuring one of my email accounts, but it really doesn't matter: I can just go online to check it. Also, I will never be able to do some of the things on this that I can on my desktop: photo editing and storage, or storing a lot of music. But, that's what a desktop is for. While I'm happy with this laptop, it isn't what I REALLY want. (See the post from 21 November 2005.) It isn't nearly as powerful as I want, but it is more than adequate for what I NEED. Let's have a drumroll, people, and then you can follow this link to see my newest baby, a Dell Inspiron E1505! (Mine is the second one from the right--the one that says it's for music and pictures.) Pretty, isn't it?
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Oil Change
This is for all the women out there--and all the SECURE men that read this blog! Enjoy.
Oil Change
Oil Change instructions for Women :
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent:
Oil Change $20.00
Coffee $1.00
Total $21.00
Oil Change instructions for Men:
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.
2) Stop by 7 - 11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.
18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it back to Kragen to recycle.
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug.
27) Drink beer.
28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.
29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
30) Drink beer.
31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
33) Begin cussing fit.
34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
36) Beer.
37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
38) Beer.
39) Beer.
40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
41) Beer.
42) Lower car from jack stands.
43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 - 43.
45) Beer.
46) Test drive car.
47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
48) Car gets impounded.
49) Call loving wife, make bail.
50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts $50.00
DUI $2500.00
Impound fee $75.00
Bail $1500.00
Beer $40.00
Total - - $4,165.00
But you know the job was done right!
Oil Change
Oil Change instructions for Women :
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent:
Oil Change $20.00
Coffee $1.00
Total $21.00
Oil Change instructions for Men:
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.
2) Stop by 7 - 11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.
18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it back to Kragen to recycle.
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug.
27) Drink beer.
28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.
29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
30) Drink beer.
31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
33) Begin cussing fit.
34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
36) Beer.
37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
38) Beer.
39) Beer.
40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
41) Beer.
42) Lower car from jack stands.
43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 - 43.
45) Beer.
46) Test drive car.
47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
48) Car gets impounded.
49) Call loving wife, make bail.
50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts $50.00
DUI $2500.00
Impound fee $75.00
Bail $1500.00
Beer $40.00
Total - - $4,165.00
But you know the job was done right!
Just HAD To Post This!
Okay, this is a real groaner, but here goes:
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck Cuddles has passed away.
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around, and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat! The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150.00."
(Told you it was a groaner!) :)
And, finally, after reading this headline from Reuters, "Couric leaving "Today" for CBS News," all they have to do is get rid of Matt Lauer and I can start watching "Today," again! (And, no, I don't want any "I love Katie" comments.)
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck Cuddles has passed away.
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around, and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat! The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150.00."
(Told you it was a groaner!) :)
And, finally, after reading this headline from Reuters, "Couric leaving "Today" for CBS News," all they have to do is get rid of Matt Lauer and I can start watching "Today," again! (And, no, I don't want any "I love Katie" comments.)
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Just To Say Hi
Just popping in for a minute to say I MAY not be posting for a couple of days. I got my new laptop today and I have been trying to get it in the shape I want it to be in. I had to set up a wireless network and get it all updated, etc. Now I have to rid the thing of all the bloatware that came with it and start to personalize it the way I like it to be. I'm in hog heaven! (I'm such a geek.)
Mini Chapel
I don't really know what the reason is behind a mini-chapel, but there seem to be a few all over the world. Some were built as shrines, some are there for travelers to use for worship, and some are just novelty items. I am not sure why the one was built in Niagara Falls. I wish I would have taken a picture of the inside, looking from the outside. Unfortunately, you couldn't take a pic that really showed what the inside was like. Any pic of the inside just made it look much bigger than it actually was. (Don't know what kind of optical illusion was in effect for THAT to happen!) The "aisle" was barely wide enough for two people to stand side-by-side. There was a pew on each side of the aisle, facing the center of the chapel. Because we "sardined" 10 people into the place, no one had the opportunity to sit during the ceremony. And there were three of us taking pictures the entire time--made for some interesting shots of backs, bald spots, and hands. Needless to say, the Pastor REALLY didn't need to heat the place up before the wedding. (He brought in heaters so the bride wouldn't be cold.) With ten people standing "ass-to-jowl" in a little room, our collective body heat was more than enough to make the place toasty!
There will be more pictures posted in a few days. I have to sort them out, first.
There will be more pictures posted in a few days. I have to sort them out, first.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Pictures
I decided to post some pictures from our time in Niagara Falls. The first one is a picture of The Living Water Wayside Chapel--the only authentic Miniature Chapel of its kind in the Niagara Falls area. We managed--I still don't know how--to squeeze ten people in here for the wedding.
Also, here is a pic of A and her husband so that you can get a little bit of a better idea of the size of the place. The trees on either side of the photo are cherry trees--there is a small cherry tree orchard surrounding the chapel. Must be gorgeous in the spring!
Friday, March 31, 2006
Don't Know Why I Do This
I spend more, per year, on skin care products than the average third world worker makes in wages. At least, I must. I have enough products to open a store. I can't help myself: if I see something I think might be good to try, I buy it. I have products from WalMart, department stores, "only able to buy from a physician's office," high end websites, and low end websites. I have products from "Naked Skin" to "Lush" to "Biomedics" to "Kinerase." And why do I do this? Is it to try to make myself appear younger? Absolutely not!
I realize I am getting older, and I don't particularly mind it. After all, getting older IS better than the alternative. I really am blessed with very few wrinkles and I don't mind if I have any. Wrinkles are just a sign of wisdom and living a full life. So if it isn't for the wrinkles, then why do I spend so much on my skin? The Reason: I want what they call a "peaches and cream" complexion. I want to be able to leave the house without a bit of makeup on and still look halfway decent! It should not be that hard of a thing to do, but it is. I want my skin to be even-toned, no dark sun-damaged spots. I want no more blemishes. I want no more bumps, lumps, dry patches, or anything that doesn't look normal. I WANT SKIN THAT LOOKS LIKE A BABY'S!!!!! Is this too much to ask? Apparently so. And so, I continue to search for that illusive elixir that will be the answer to all of my prayers--and I continue to spend and spend and spend. And IF I should ever find the magic potion, I will NEVER tell anyone else--it will be my little secret!
I realize I am getting older, and I don't particularly mind it. After all, getting older IS better than the alternative. I really am blessed with very few wrinkles and I don't mind if I have any. Wrinkles are just a sign of wisdom and living a full life. So if it isn't for the wrinkles, then why do I spend so much on my skin? The Reason: I want what they call a "peaches and cream" complexion. I want to be able to leave the house without a bit of makeup on and still look halfway decent! It should not be that hard of a thing to do, but it is. I want my skin to be even-toned, no dark sun-damaged spots. I want no more blemishes. I want no more bumps, lumps, dry patches, or anything that doesn't look normal. I WANT SKIN THAT LOOKS LIKE A BABY'S!!!!! Is this too much to ask? Apparently so. And so, I continue to search for that illusive elixir that will be the answer to all of my prayers--and I continue to spend and spend and spend. And IF I should ever find the magic potion, I will NEVER tell anyone else--it will be my little secret!
Our Trip: Sunday And Then Home
I'm happy we decided to stay through Sunday because we got a chance to do some fun things and to spend time with A and her husband. After breakfast, K and I went to do some sightseeing. I wanted to take pictures of the valley, or gorge, and he wanted pics of the nearby hydro and bridges. (I know, I know--BORING!)
In the afternoon we went with A and A ( A's husband) to the Butterfly Conservatory. Sounds really nerdy, doesn't it? But I have to say, it very possibly was the highlight of the trip! (Other than the wedding, of course.) The conservatory is a big building which has a fake rainforest in it. There are many plants and trees and free-flying through the whole place are thousands of butterflies. There are butterflies of every shape, size, and color imaginable. It really was neat to be walking through and have the little critters fly around--and land--on you. I was really skeptical as to how I was going to hold up there, as I am extremely bug-phobic, but I loved every minute. I could have stayed there for days just watching the butterflies and snapping pictures.
After dropping A and A off--they were going to take the "Walk Behind the Falls"--K and I decided to walk from our hotel down to the edge of the Falls. This was going to be the last chance to get pics of the Falls, and I was determined to do it! We then went back to our room with the thoughts of making it an early night.
We decided to eat at the T.G.I. Fridays that was there in the hotel. K had a couple of bottles of beer, I had a daiquiri, we had potato skins, K had a steak, and I had chicken fingers. And for that, we paid $103CAN. Just a little bit pricey! I swear, anyone with a bad heart better never go to Canada and buy anything! I almost had a stroke when I saw the bill--K went a little white, himself.
Again, talking about the cost of things in Canada: I'm amazed at the amount of taxes and fees that were charged for EVERYTHING. We ONLY paid two different taxes for what we bought at WalMart. For the hotel bill--the room, phone calls, and valet parking--there were three taxes/fees per day, or phone call. Then, at T.G.I. Fridays, there were FOUR different taxes we had to pay! $16.08 of the $103 was for taxes! And WE complain about taxes in this country. There is one tax--the Goods & Services Tax--that you can be reimbursed for if you are not a citizen of Canada. At least in some instances. Basically, it is a tax on EVERYTHING you buy there, but in the case of the tax on a hotel room, for instance, you can get your money back if you ask for it. In our case, it will be about $30, so I have to send in the application tomorrow to get that back. Better in MY pocket than in theirs!
One thing we didn't get to do while we were there was to tour some of the wineries in the area. I had NO idea that the area surrounding Niagara Falls was laden with wineries! We noticed a lot of them as we were driving into the city and then when we drove to the chapel there were many, many signs pointing to wineries. I found that very interesting--something I never knew before.
Another thing I would have loved to do was go into the Buddhist temple that was at the edge of the Falls. We drove past it quite a few times--A and A's hotel was right next to it--and it was just gorgeous. It really did seem to be out of place when you saw it there in the middle of tourist-trap country! (The non-Asian Buddhist monk that we saw eating a plate of celery in our hotel lobby was also surprising to me!)
K went to sleep around 9:00PM on Sunday and I packed, showered, and got a couple of hours of sleep. We left Niagara Falls at 4:30AM on Monday. This gave us a chance to get through the big cities--Hamilton, St. Catherines, etc.--before rush hour started. Thank goodness. We were home by 4:00PM.
We had a nice time and I'm happy we were able to make the trip. I don't really know if I want to go back to Canada any time soon, but it is a possibility. There were other cities that would have been fun to explore, but I don't know if I can afford going there too often! :)
And this concludes our trip. I probably won't be posting about it anymore. Unless I post some pictures, that is.
In the afternoon we went with A and A ( A's husband) to the Butterfly Conservatory. Sounds really nerdy, doesn't it? But I have to say, it very possibly was the highlight of the trip! (Other than the wedding, of course.) The conservatory is a big building which has a fake rainforest in it. There are many plants and trees and free-flying through the whole place are thousands of butterflies. There are butterflies of every shape, size, and color imaginable. It really was neat to be walking through and have the little critters fly around--and land--on you. I was really skeptical as to how I was going to hold up there, as I am extremely bug-phobic, but I loved every minute. I could have stayed there for days just watching the butterflies and snapping pictures.
After dropping A and A off--they were going to take the "Walk Behind the Falls"--K and I decided to walk from our hotel down to the edge of the Falls. This was going to be the last chance to get pics of the Falls, and I was determined to do it! We then went back to our room with the thoughts of making it an early night.
We decided to eat at the T.G.I. Fridays that was there in the hotel. K had a couple of bottles of beer, I had a daiquiri, we had potato skins, K had a steak, and I had chicken fingers. And for that, we paid $103CAN. Just a little bit pricey! I swear, anyone with a bad heart better never go to Canada and buy anything! I almost had a stroke when I saw the bill--K went a little white, himself.
Again, talking about the cost of things in Canada: I'm amazed at the amount of taxes and fees that were charged for EVERYTHING. We ONLY paid two different taxes for what we bought at WalMart. For the hotel bill--the room, phone calls, and valet parking--there were three taxes/fees per day, or phone call. Then, at T.G.I. Fridays, there were FOUR different taxes we had to pay! $16.08 of the $103 was for taxes! And WE complain about taxes in this country. There is one tax--the Goods & Services Tax--that you can be reimbursed for if you are not a citizen of Canada. At least in some instances. Basically, it is a tax on EVERYTHING you buy there, but in the case of the tax on a hotel room, for instance, you can get your money back if you ask for it. In our case, it will be about $30, so I have to send in the application tomorrow to get that back. Better in MY pocket than in theirs!
One thing we didn't get to do while we were there was to tour some of the wineries in the area. I had NO idea that the area surrounding Niagara Falls was laden with wineries! We noticed a lot of them as we were driving into the city and then when we drove to the chapel there were many, many signs pointing to wineries. I found that very interesting--something I never knew before.
Another thing I would have loved to do was go into the Buddhist temple that was at the edge of the Falls. We drove past it quite a few times--A and A's hotel was right next to it--and it was just gorgeous. It really did seem to be out of place when you saw it there in the middle of tourist-trap country! (The non-Asian Buddhist monk that we saw eating a plate of celery in our hotel lobby was also surprising to me!)
K went to sleep around 9:00PM on Sunday and I packed, showered, and got a couple of hours of sleep. We left Niagara Falls at 4:30AM on Monday. This gave us a chance to get through the big cities--Hamilton, St. Catherines, etc.--before rush hour started. Thank goodness. We were home by 4:00PM.
We had a nice time and I'm happy we were able to make the trip. I don't really know if I want to go back to Canada any time soon, but it is a possibility. There were other cities that would have been fun to explore, but I don't know if I can afford going there too often! :)
And this concludes our trip. I probably won't be posting about it anymore. Unless I post some pictures, that is.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Our Trip: Saturday
Now on to the BIG day.
K and I got up and went to the breakfast buffet in the hotel. It was worth every penny we paid for it: it was free. The food was okay--looking back, much of what went on during our trip was okay, nothing more. We had to find a WalMart so that I could get something for the blister I got on my heel the night before, so that was our first mission of the day. (I got the BandAid blister repair strips--they are FANTASTIC!)
While we were out and about, we decided to find the chapel where the wedding was going to be. It was true, if you blinked for a moment, you missed the thing! (If you turned around in the chapel during the wedding, you got to be REAL good friends with the person next to you.) I have actually seen kids' playhouses that were bigger than this chapel--very cute, though. While we were taking our ride, we watched for the sightseeing, touristy things we wanted to come back to the following day. I just couldn't see driving all that distance and not get the usual pics. We still hadn't gotten a real good look at the Falls--something I said we HAD to do.
We went back to the hotel and started to get ready for the wedding. Thankfully it was a small affair, so we didn't have to do the real dressy, "wedding" type of getting ready. We got to the chapel about 45 minutes early and then we waited.
The first to arrive--other than the tourists--were the new in-laws. This was the first time we ever met, so it was interesting. They were fine enough, but I don't think we really clicked in a "our new best friends" kind of way. WE don't have to love them--or even like them--as we won't see much of each other. And that is fine.
The Pastor and his wife showed up next, so we got a chance to get to know them, also. He was perfect for this chapel--quite small and leprechaunish. A very nice couple.
And then we waited. A and her fiance were 30-45 minutes late--something the mother of the groom wasn't too happy about. The ceremony was over in about 10 minutes. It was a very simple, nice ceremony. The bride and groom told each other how they felt about each other and that left us all crying--very touching and sweet. They did very well. And my baby is now a married woman.
The most interesting and funniest part of the entire wait were the tourists. This chapel seems to be a very popular tourist stop and most of the tourists who stopped there were Asian. Now, we all have seen the sitcoms where they have the Asian tourists with their cameras just going on and on with their picture-taking--this is NO JOKE. They took pictures of the chapel, inside and out, both with and without people in the pics. I believe they even took pics of US! The Pastor kept telling them that this was a private affair, but it made not much of a difference: none of them spoke English! And this just wasn't the occasional person--we're talking BUSLOADS of people stopping by. There was a van load of Asians there when A finally showed up, and the tourists started buzzing about the bride being there--at least that's what I THINK they were saying. They stayed and watched her get out of the car and go into the chapel--taking pictures the whole time. As the door was closed on the chapel, we don't know how long they stayed waiting for us to come out. At least once during the ceremony, someone opened the door to see what was going on. The Pastor's wife was there to keep uninvited guests away--that was her job.
Following the ceremony, we went to eat at a gourmet Italian restaurant. When we got there, the dads and the couple left for a short time to take some pictures with the Falls as a backdrop. K got reprimanded by the cops while they were doing this. I guess he parked where he shouldn't have parked--the signage was ambiguous, at best. The comment the cop gave as he was entering his vehicle: "Hmph! Americans!"
The meal went fine--thankfully, the dads split the check--and then we spent the evening together wandering through the shops at the casino. We couldn't go INTO the casino as the groom's brother was only 16. We sat at the food court and visited for several hours and then parted ways. They went to their hotel observation deck to look at the Falls and K and I went to the casino to donate more money to their economy. And that was the end of the second day.
Two things I really noticed, again, about Niagara Falls: there is NO PLACE to park for free and prices are outrageous! The closet parking to the Falls that we saw, was about two blocks away from them--and you had to pay to park there. There might have been one other place that was just a little more than two blocks from the Falls, but I'm not sure. If you wanted to get to the edge of the Falls, you had to walk, ride shuttles or other forms of public transportation, or take a cab. Before we got there, I wasn't aware of how much walking you have to do to see ANYTHING. And, again, the outrageous prices. We stopped in Starbucks on our way back to the room--I know Starbucks is expensive, anyway--and we paid over $10 (CAN) for a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. Believe me, neither one of the beverages was worth over $5!
K and I got up and went to the breakfast buffet in the hotel. It was worth every penny we paid for it: it was free. The food was okay--looking back, much of what went on during our trip was okay, nothing more. We had to find a WalMart so that I could get something for the blister I got on my heel the night before, so that was our first mission of the day. (I got the BandAid blister repair strips--they are FANTASTIC!)
While we were out and about, we decided to find the chapel where the wedding was going to be. It was true, if you blinked for a moment, you missed the thing! (If you turned around in the chapel during the wedding, you got to be REAL good friends with the person next to you.) I have actually seen kids' playhouses that were bigger than this chapel--very cute, though. While we were taking our ride, we watched for the sightseeing, touristy things we wanted to come back to the following day. I just couldn't see driving all that distance and not get the usual pics. We still hadn't gotten a real good look at the Falls--something I said we HAD to do.
We went back to the hotel and started to get ready for the wedding. Thankfully it was a small affair, so we didn't have to do the real dressy, "wedding" type of getting ready. We got to the chapel about 45 minutes early and then we waited.
The first to arrive--other than the tourists--were the new in-laws. This was the first time we ever met, so it was interesting. They were fine enough, but I don't think we really clicked in a "our new best friends" kind of way. WE don't have to love them--or even like them--as we won't see much of each other. And that is fine.
The Pastor and his wife showed up next, so we got a chance to get to know them, also. He was perfect for this chapel--quite small and leprechaunish. A very nice couple.
And then we waited. A and her fiance were 30-45 minutes late--something the mother of the groom wasn't too happy about. The ceremony was over in about 10 minutes. It was a very simple, nice ceremony. The bride and groom told each other how they felt about each other and that left us all crying--very touching and sweet. They did very well. And my baby is now a married woman.
The most interesting and funniest part of the entire wait were the tourists. This chapel seems to be a very popular tourist stop and most of the tourists who stopped there were Asian. Now, we all have seen the sitcoms where they have the Asian tourists with their cameras just going on and on with their picture-taking--this is NO JOKE. They took pictures of the chapel, inside and out, both with and without people in the pics. I believe they even took pics of US! The Pastor kept telling them that this was a private affair, but it made not much of a difference: none of them spoke English! And this just wasn't the occasional person--we're talking BUSLOADS of people stopping by. There was a van load of Asians there when A finally showed up, and the tourists started buzzing about the bride being there--at least that's what I THINK they were saying. They stayed and watched her get out of the car and go into the chapel--taking pictures the whole time. As the door was closed on the chapel, we don't know how long they stayed waiting for us to come out. At least once during the ceremony, someone opened the door to see what was going on. The Pastor's wife was there to keep uninvited guests away--that was her job.
Following the ceremony, we went to eat at a gourmet Italian restaurant. When we got there, the dads and the couple left for a short time to take some pictures with the Falls as a backdrop. K got reprimanded by the cops while they were doing this. I guess he parked where he shouldn't have parked--the signage was ambiguous, at best. The comment the cop gave as he was entering his vehicle: "Hmph! Americans!"
The meal went fine--thankfully, the dads split the check--and then we spent the evening together wandering through the shops at the casino. We couldn't go INTO the casino as the groom's brother was only 16. We sat at the food court and visited for several hours and then parted ways. They went to their hotel observation deck to look at the Falls and K and I went to the casino to donate more money to their economy. And that was the end of the second day.
Two things I really noticed, again, about Niagara Falls: there is NO PLACE to park for free and prices are outrageous! The closet parking to the Falls that we saw, was about two blocks away from them--and you had to pay to park there. There might have been one other place that was just a little more than two blocks from the Falls, but I'm not sure. If you wanted to get to the edge of the Falls, you had to walk, ride shuttles or other forms of public transportation, or take a cab. Before we got there, I wasn't aware of how much walking you have to do to see ANYTHING. And, again, the outrageous prices. We stopped in Starbucks on our way back to the room--I know Starbucks is expensive, anyway--and we paid over $10 (CAN) for a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. Believe me, neither one of the beverages was worth over $5!
Our Trip: Friday
We left the house at 4:30 AM on Friday--just to try to get a jump on the traffic. Everything went along quite well. We got to the Mackinac Bridge while it was still early--so early, in fact, that the bridge was enclosed in fog. It was a bit weird to look ahead and see--or rather, not see--the tops of the towers above the roadway. Traffic was still extremely light when we crossed over. After the bridge, I went to sleep.
I woke up before we got to Flint. I had told C that I would call her just before we crossed over, as I didn't want to have to pay roaming charges from Canada. (Little good it did me--A and I kept in contact the whole while we were in Niagara Falls by cellphone.) We stopped to have lunch and gas the Jimmy before crossing the bridge at Port Huron.
We had to pay a toll to get across the bridge at Port Huron and I have never seen anyone so unfriendly as the toll-taker who "waited" on us. Not only did she NOT SAY A WORD to us--NOTHING--but her face, literally, would have fallen off if she had even tried to smile. The look she gave us was the very definition of "if looks could kill." The customs agent who "interrogated" us before we got into Canada wasn't much better than the toll-taker. Neither one of them made us feel very welcome or wanted--if you don't want tourists, put up a damn fence!
Again, I went back to sleep and was very happy until I woke a few hours later as we were passing Brantford. Now, I had thought the biggest city in that area was London, and because we weren't getting too close to it, I didn't think traffic was going to be too big of a problem. Well, I was wrong! Brantford wasn't too bad at a population of 86,000, but then we got to Hamilton. The population there was 491,000 and by this time we were racing at speeds I don't want to think about and were surrounded by eighteen-wheelers doing their best not to crowd us too terribly. I came very close to a full-blown panic attack, but I calmed myself by saying this wouldn't last too long. HA! We still had to go through Burlington (151,000) and St. Catherine's (130,000). The traffic, I'm sure, was normal for a Friday afternoon, but I grew up in a town of less than 1,000 people, so I was not a happy traveler! Niagara Falls, at 79,000 people, was a cakewalk compared to what we had just gone through. Thank goodness K has no problem driving in that traffic.
We got to our hotel before 4:00 PM--much earlier than I had expected. We used the valet parking--so glad we did--and had a bellhop bring us to our suite. All of that was very nice. The suite was nice enough--probably not worth what we paid. It DEFINITELY was not as clean as it should have been, but I don't think any hotel room would be clean enough for me! I'm anal that way.
A and her fiance were already in town, so we went out to dinner with them. Afterwards we went to the casino. It was very cool--I've never been to Vegas, but I would imagine this was very much like it, only on a smaller scale. A had never gambled in a casino, so we put her in front of a nickel slot machine and had her go at it. She didn't win, but she had fun.
So, that concluded our first day of the trip. Eventful in some ways and easy in others.
I woke up before we got to Flint. I had told C that I would call her just before we crossed over, as I didn't want to have to pay roaming charges from Canada. (Little good it did me--A and I kept in contact the whole while we were in Niagara Falls by cellphone.) We stopped to have lunch and gas the Jimmy before crossing the bridge at Port Huron.
We had to pay a toll to get across the bridge at Port Huron and I have never seen anyone so unfriendly as the toll-taker who "waited" on us. Not only did she NOT SAY A WORD to us--NOTHING--but her face, literally, would have fallen off if she had even tried to smile. The look she gave us was the very definition of "if looks could kill." The customs agent who "interrogated" us before we got into Canada wasn't much better than the toll-taker. Neither one of them made us feel very welcome or wanted--if you don't want tourists, put up a damn fence!
Again, I went back to sleep and was very happy until I woke a few hours later as we were passing Brantford. Now, I had thought the biggest city in that area was London, and because we weren't getting too close to it, I didn't think traffic was going to be too big of a problem. Well, I was wrong! Brantford wasn't too bad at a population of 86,000, but then we got to Hamilton. The population there was 491,000 and by this time we were racing at speeds I don't want to think about and were surrounded by eighteen-wheelers doing their best not to crowd us too terribly. I came very close to a full-blown panic attack, but I calmed myself by saying this wouldn't last too long. HA! We still had to go through Burlington (151,000) and St. Catherine's (130,000). The traffic, I'm sure, was normal for a Friday afternoon, but I grew up in a town of less than 1,000 people, so I was not a happy traveler! Niagara Falls, at 79,000 people, was a cakewalk compared to what we had just gone through. Thank goodness K has no problem driving in that traffic.
We got to our hotel before 4:00 PM--much earlier than I had expected. We used the valet parking--so glad we did--and had a bellhop bring us to our suite. All of that was very nice. The suite was nice enough--probably not worth what we paid. It DEFINITELY was not as clean as it should have been, but I don't think any hotel room would be clean enough for me! I'm anal that way.
A and her fiance were already in town, so we went out to dinner with them. Afterwards we went to the casino. It was very cool--I've never been to Vegas, but I would imagine this was very much like it, only on a smaller scale. A had never gambled in a casino, so we put her in front of a nickel slot machine and had her go at it. She didn't win, but she had fun.
So, that concluded our first day of the trip. Eventful in some ways and easy in others.
Monday, March 27, 2006
So, What Did You Do This Weekend?
To answer my own question: I went to WalMart. In Canada. Twice.
Yep, I couldn't even go the whole weekend in another country without showing up at the place that inhales more of my money than any other! I must admit I had a very legitimate reason for going there--rather TWO reasons: first, I had to buy something to put on my heel where I developed a very bad blister the very first night we were in Canada, and the second time we went for a map of Ontario. Can you believe it, I printed out all of the directions on how to GET to Niagara Falls and neglected to print out how to get back home! (And please don't say all you have to do is go in reverse order! As it turned out, WITH a map, K didn't listen to my directions and we wound up halfway to Toronto before he would admit we were driving in the opposite direction of where we were supposed to be going!)
All in all, the weekend was fun: our daughter DID get married, we met the new in-laws, and Canada sucked more money out of us in three days than Walmart can in six months! It was an expensive experience, but well worth it. I will post more about the trip in the next few days. Thanks for all the well wishes--I missed being on line and each and every one of you!
Yep, I couldn't even go the whole weekend in another country without showing up at the place that inhales more of my money than any other! I must admit I had a very legitimate reason for going there--rather TWO reasons: first, I had to buy something to put on my heel where I developed a very bad blister the very first night we were in Canada, and the second time we went for a map of Ontario. Can you believe it, I printed out all of the directions on how to GET to Niagara Falls and neglected to print out how to get back home! (And please don't say all you have to do is go in reverse order! As it turned out, WITH a map, K didn't listen to my directions and we wound up halfway to Toronto before he would admit we were driving in the opposite direction of where we were supposed to be going!)
All in all, the weekend was fun: our daughter DID get married, we met the new in-laws, and Canada sucked more money out of us in three days than Walmart can in six months! It was an expensive experience, but well worth it. I will post more about the trip in the next few days. Thanks for all the well wishes--I missed being on line and each and every one of you!
Thursday, March 23, 2006
I'll Be Back
Just wanted to say good bye to all of you--we will be leaving in about 10 hours or so. I will post about our trip next week--have a good weekend ya all!
You Might Find This Interesting...
The people who live in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan are called Yoopers. Yoopers call people who live in the Lower Peninsula, Trolls, because they live below the bridge.
A great amount of the Yoopers are of Finnish heritage--at least partly. I think so many Finns found themselves in the UP because it reminded them of home--four seasons, snow, lots of trees.
A lot of the early Finns in the UP either worked in the lumber industry or the mining industry. The UP has both copper and iron mines. There have been other kinds of mines, but those two types were the most profitable. Iron mining is still a big thing in the central UP.
People who live in the UP--whether they are Finn or not--have a lot of "sisu." Sisu is a Finnish word that can be best described as "stick-to-it-iveness." To live in the UP, one has to be a strong individual, as the winters, especially, can be brutal. It takes someone with sisu to live--and stay--in the UP.
There are some unique things in the UP. Pasties are a food found here that can't be found in very many other places in the US. A pasty is a Cornish meat and potato pie that makes a fantastic meal. The best pasties are made by old Finnish women. "Pasty" is pronounced with a short "a" sound, like in "cat." It is NOT pronounced with a long "a" as in the word for a stripper's tassel.
One word that is used in the UP and not used anywhere else is "pank." You can pank the cowlick on your head, or pank snow. Basically, you are flattening whatever you are panking: you flatten your cowlick with your hand or the snow with the back of a shovel.
A great amount of the Yoopers are of Finnish heritage--at least partly. I think so many Finns found themselves in the UP because it reminded them of home--four seasons, snow, lots of trees.
A lot of the early Finns in the UP either worked in the lumber industry or the mining industry. The UP has both copper and iron mines. There have been other kinds of mines, but those two types were the most profitable. Iron mining is still a big thing in the central UP.
People who live in the UP--whether they are Finn or not--have a lot of "sisu." Sisu is a Finnish word that can be best described as "stick-to-it-iveness." To live in the UP, one has to be a strong individual, as the winters, especially, can be brutal. It takes someone with sisu to live--and stay--in the UP.
There are some unique things in the UP. Pasties are a food found here that can't be found in very many other places in the US. A pasty is a Cornish meat and potato pie that makes a fantastic meal. The best pasties are made by old Finnish women. "Pasty" is pronounced with a short "a" sound, like in "cat." It is NOT pronounced with a long "a" as in the word for a stripper's tassel.
One word that is used in the UP and not used anywhere else is "pank." You can pank the cowlick on your head, or pank snow. Basically, you are flattening whatever you are panking: you flatten your cowlick with your hand or the snow with the back of a shovel.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Tech News
Now, I don't know if this is really news or just an inevitable announcement, but Microsoft is delaying the launch of Vista until 2007. What more can we expect from Microsoft? The only way this would come off as a wonderful announcement is if Vista actually launched without being buggy--and that is as likely to happen as Hugh Hefner coming to my house and asking me to be the next Playmate of the Year! I just may have to move on over to Linux. And I thought my next computer would have Vista, but I don't like having a new Microsoft OS on my machine until 6 months have passed or the first service pack is issued--whichever comes last. Oh, well, time will tell. Here is more info.
I was absolutely shocked to read that Dell is buying Alienware! It has been a dream of mine to own a computer from Alienware or Voodoo, but now Alienware is being taken over by Dell. It does sound as if Alienware may be able to do business independently (or relatively so) of Dell and be able to continue making its high-end machines. Let's hope so. Here is more of the story.
I was absolutely shocked to read that Dell is buying Alienware! It has been a dream of mine to own a computer from Alienware or Voodoo, but now Alienware is being taken over by Dell. It does sound as if Alienware may be able to do business independently (or relatively so) of Dell and be able to continue making its high-end machines. Let's hope so. Here is more of the story.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Tidbits
-The US Fish and Wildlife Service is looking at the possibility of taking the gray wolf off of the endangered species list for the Western Great Lakes region. The wolf has made a great comeback over the years and is no longer in trouble. Actually, some people say there is an overabundance--and that is what is keeping the deer population down. Hunters, especially, will be happy if the protection is lifted. I don't have any feelings about this either way, but I do agree that there are many more wolves, as we have actually seen one while traveling around--something that NEVER happened when I was a child. (And if anyone would have seen a wolf, it would have been my family and me--we did the "Sunday drives" week after week after week. And The Father ALWAYS drove the old logging roads, or whatever PATH he could get the car down.)
-I think I got all of our clothes taken care of for the trip. I did the ironing that was needed last night and have clothes hanging from every doorknob available in this house. It should be so much easier to have everything out in the open when it comes time to do the packing.
-I will finish A's bouquet tonight and make the boutonniere for the groom, also. I'm really quite happy that I didn't have to do a whole wedding's worth of flowers.
-My house is absolutely overrun with stuff that needs to be packed. (See previous post. I like RT's suggestion and would do it if I could!)
-Prison Break returned last night and it was a great episode. It is a show like 24: it grabs you and won't let go! Of course, I acknowledge the ridiculousness of some of what goes on--just as with 24--but it still makes for exciting viewing! I can't wait to find out how they get Linc out of the electric chair. Next week will be good.
-24 comes on right after Prison Break now, so I get to see two of my favs back-to-back on Monday nights. Implausible or not, 24 can deal the surprises better than most shows on TV. It is amazing how many main characters they have killed off so far this season--always a surprising shock when that happens.
-Only about 60 hours before we leave on our trip. I will get little or no sleep before we leave, as usual. I obsess about things and make more work for myself than is necessary, so sleep doesn't come easy. No big deal, though, as I will have 10+ hours to sleep while we travel. (Go here for my explanation of why I sleep while traveling.)
-I think I got all of our clothes taken care of for the trip. I did the ironing that was needed last night and have clothes hanging from every doorknob available in this house. It should be so much easier to have everything out in the open when it comes time to do the packing.
-I will finish A's bouquet tonight and make the boutonniere for the groom, also. I'm really quite happy that I didn't have to do a whole wedding's worth of flowers.
-My house is absolutely overrun with stuff that needs to be packed. (See previous post. I like RT's suggestion and would do it if I could!)
-Prison Break returned last night and it was a great episode. It is a show like 24: it grabs you and won't let go! Of course, I acknowledge the ridiculousness of some of what goes on--just as with 24--but it still makes for exciting viewing! I can't wait to find out how they get Linc out of the electric chair. Next week will be good.
-24 comes on right after Prison Break now, so I get to see two of my favs back-to-back on Monday nights. Implausible or not, 24 can deal the surprises better than most shows on TV. It is amazing how many main characters they have killed off so far this season--always a surprising shock when that happens.
-Only about 60 hours before we leave on our trip. I will get little or no sleep before we leave, as usual. I obsess about things and make more work for myself than is necessary, so sleep doesn't come easy. No big deal, though, as I will have 10+ hours to sleep while we travel. (Go here for my explanation of why I sleep while traveling.)
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Packing Suitcases
We will be leaving for Niagara Falls early on Friday--hopefully we will get there late in the afternoon or early part of the evening. It will take us at least 10 hours to drive. Everyone is surprised that we are not flying, but there is one reason we have to drive: the airline wouldn't let me take all of the luggage I plan on bringing with me.
I am the world's worst suitcase packer. It is not that I don't know HOW to pack, it is that I don't know WHAT to pack! If I don't have a least two outfits for every day I will be away from home, then I panic . I think I will not have what I MIGHT need , so I overpack--JUST IN CASE! And it isn't just clothes--I overpack shoes. Like I would EVER wear more than one or two different pairs in a day. Then, of course, you have my over-40-year-old skin: it takes an awful lot of products just to keep it at a point where small children won't run away screaming when they see me. And beyond clothes, shoes, and personal products, we have the miscellaneous essentials: books, magazines, music players, Gameboys, other electronic gadgets, etc. When I get my laptop, that will be just one more thing I have to take.
With this trip we also have to take cameras and camcorders, wedding flowers, and jewelry for A to borrow. It just keeps getting worse and worse! Pretty soon we will have to hire a U-Haul to drag behind the Jimmy. I would love to see the looks on the faces of the hotel personnel if we drove up with a U-Haul in tow--and then started to unpack it! I really don't see me being able to get away with anything less than three suitcases. Haven't figured out if I will have to take any odd totes, also. I'll just have to see what happens. K just might have to go and buy himself some luggage--I don't know if we have enough suitcases for the both of us. :)
I am the world's worst suitcase packer. It is not that I don't know HOW to pack, it is that I don't know WHAT to pack! If I don't have a least two outfits for every day I will be away from home, then I panic . I think I will not have what I MIGHT need , so I overpack--JUST IN CASE! And it isn't just clothes--I overpack shoes. Like I would EVER wear more than one or two different pairs in a day. Then, of course, you have my over-40-year-old skin: it takes an awful lot of products just to keep it at a point where small children won't run away screaming when they see me. And beyond clothes, shoes, and personal products, we have the miscellaneous essentials: books, magazines, music players, Gameboys, other electronic gadgets, etc. When I get my laptop, that will be just one more thing I have to take.
With this trip we also have to take cameras and camcorders, wedding flowers, and jewelry for A to borrow. It just keeps getting worse and worse! Pretty soon we will have to hire a U-Haul to drag behind the Jimmy. I would love to see the looks on the faces of the hotel personnel if we drove up with a U-Haul in tow--and then started to unpack it! I really don't see me being able to get away with anything less than three suitcases. Haven't figured out if I will have to take any odd totes, also. I'll just have to see what happens. K just might have to go and buy himself some luggage--I don't know if we have enough suitcases for the both of us. :)
New Cars
K and I went to the annual new/used car show here in town last night. All of the local dealers get together and display vehicles in one central location--quite neat to be able to compare different models at once. While we are not in the market for a new vehicle right at the moment, it still is fun to see what is out there.
It really freaked me out when K kept pointing out the slightly smaller cars and saying how they would be nice to have. Right now I am driving a GMC Jimmy and don't want to give it up for something SO MUCH SMALLER, as a Honda Accord! I always liked the smaller vehicles--they were fun for me to drive. And they fit me so well, considering how short I am. K kept telling me that I would really like an SUV if I gave it a chance, but I kept saying no. I was afraid of how big they were. Then we got my Jimmy a couple of years ago--AND I NEVER WANT TO GO BACK TO A CAR AGAIN! I LOVE having the 4 wheel drive in the winter. I love being able to sit high enough to be able to see over snow banks. I love not feeling (too) intimidated when I am next to an 18-wheeler! I don't want to have to go back to driving a car again.
(Now to talk to those tree-huggers out there that hate SUVs: I don't care what you say about people who drive 4 wheel vehicles! I have every right to drive what I want. I WILL drive what I want. I have to pay for the gas that goes into my vehicle, so it is my own choice if I want to spend $50 or more to fill the damn thing up! And, besides, come here where I live, in the middle of a terrible winter, during a violent snowstorm, and try to get around WITHOUT a 4WD! If you can do it easily, THEN I will think about listening to your opinions.)
I sure hope gas prices go down before we are in need of replacing my Jimmy--then it won't be so hard to talk K into getting another SUV. Heck, maybe I could even talk him into getting me a Hummer! A dream come true!!!
It really freaked me out when K kept pointing out the slightly smaller cars and saying how they would be nice to have. Right now I am driving a GMC Jimmy and don't want to give it up for something SO MUCH SMALLER, as a Honda Accord! I always liked the smaller vehicles--they were fun for me to drive. And they fit me so well, considering how short I am. K kept telling me that I would really like an SUV if I gave it a chance, but I kept saying no. I was afraid of how big they were. Then we got my Jimmy a couple of years ago--AND I NEVER WANT TO GO BACK TO A CAR AGAIN! I LOVE having the 4 wheel drive in the winter. I love being able to sit high enough to be able to see over snow banks. I love not feeling (too) intimidated when I am next to an 18-wheeler! I don't want to have to go back to driving a car again.
(Now to talk to those tree-huggers out there that hate SUVs: I don't care what you say about people who drive 4 wheel vehicles! I have every right to drive what I want. I WILL drive what I want. I have to pay for the gas that goes into my vehicle, so it is my own choice if I want to spend $50 or more to fill the damn thing up! And, besides, come here where I live, in the middle of a terrible winter, during a violent snowstorm, and try to get around WITHOUT a 4WD! If you can do it easily, THEN I will think about listening to your opinions.)
I sure hope gas prices go down before we are in need of replacing my Jimmy--then it won't be so hard to talk K into getting another SUV. Heck, maybe I could even talk him into getting me a Hummer! A dream come true!!!
Thursday, March 16, 2006
A Little Knowledge
Got this as an email and found it to be interesting and funny. Don't know who originally wrote it, but the comments are too good!
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes...lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond? )
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing.)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes...lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond? )
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing.)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
Happy St. Urho's Day
I want to wish everyone a very happy St. Urho's Day. Everyone is expected to wear green and purple today to honor St. Urho, the legendary patron saint of Finland. Eat lots of mojakka (beef and vegetable soup)--or kalamojakka (fish stew)--and nisu (cardamom sweet-bread) as part of your celebration! To those not familiar with this holiday, you can read more here.
Just Info
My Stat Counter now shows 1300 hits on this blog--yippee! Never thought the hits would EVER get that high.
Today K finally got us all shoveled out of the storm we had the other day. I believe this was the only really big storm we had all winter. C said they got 32 inches of snow in 24 hours--we didn't get as much, but we usually don't unless it is all lake-effect. I really think we turned the corner on winter and spring will be coming within the next month or two! (And I'm really not joking about the time frame!)
Saw my orthodontist today--he still wants me to keep going back every three months. Really, I think he just likes looking at my teeth--he NEVER thought they would come out looking so good. I have to have some kind of a retainer/splint/mouth guard made because I have begun to grind my teeth really bad again while I sleep. My retainer only has a limited time left before I grind a hole right through it. Of course, the cost of this thing won't be cheap: it will cost $300! Yeah.
C has "decided" to come up with a new medical problem: she is now losing her hair by the handful! I wish they could just find out what the hell is going on with her! She is, after all, my first baby and I worry.
I finished my shopping for our trip--at least I think I have. Every store around here has all of their winter clothes on clearance and we WILL be going to a cold place, so it has been great getting all of the bargains I have. It is hard to pass up stuff that is so cheap. I really have to stop, though, because I won't have a chance to wear everything I bought! K still has to go and get some new clothes, but he is being stubborn about it. MEN!!!
Had to bring a bunch of stuff in to be dry cleaned--K's suit, my trenchcoat, etc., etc.--and it will come to cost about $80 when I pick everything up. No wonder I don't bring more things to the dry cleaners!
Today K finally got us all shoveled out of the storm we had the other day. I believe this was the only really big storm we had all winter. C said they got 32 inches of snow in 24 hours--we didn't get as much, but we usually don't unless it is all lake-effect. I really think we turned the corner on winter and spring will be coming within the next month or two! (And I'm really not joking about the time frame!)
Saw my orthodontist today--he still wants me to keep going back every three months. Really, I think he just likes looking at my teeth--he NEVER thought they would come out looking so good. I have to have some kind of a retainer/splint/mouth guard made because I have begun to grind my teeth really bad again while I sleep. My retainer only has a limited time left before I grind a hole right through it. Of course, the cost of this thing won't be cheap: it will cost $300! Yeah.
C has "decided" to come up with a new medical problem: she is now losing her hair by the handful! I wish they could just find out what the hell is going on with her! She is, after all, my first baby and I worry.
I finished my shopping for our trip--at least I think I have. Every store around here has all of their winter clothes on clearance and we WILL be going to a cold place, so it has been great getting all of the bargains I have. It is hard to pass up stuff that is so cheap. I really have to stop, though, because I won't have a chance to wear everything I bought! K still has to go and get some new clothes, but he is being stubborn about it. MEN!!!
Had to bring a bunch of stuff in to be dry cleaned--K's suit, my trenchcoat, etc., etc.--and it will come to cost about $80 when I pick everything up. No wonder I don't bring more things to the dry cleaners!
Monday, March 13, 2006
Pet Diaries
As seen in a dog's diary...
7am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6pm - Oh boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh boy! Dad! My favorite!
8pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
11pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in a people bed! My favorite!
As seen in a cat's diary...
Day 1283 of my captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre, little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow? I may eat another house plant
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I am.
Hmmm? Not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I can wait -- it is only a matter of time...
7am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6pm - Oh boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh boy! Dad! My favorite!
8pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
11pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in a people bed! My favorite!
As seen in a cat's diary...
Day 1283 of my captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre, little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow? I may eat another house plant
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I am.
Hmmm? Not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I can wait -- it is only a matter of time...
What People Earn
Okay, here goes my annual rant over Parade magazine's article about what people earn per year. What is wrong with this picture? What the hell is wrong with this country when people earn the following salaries?
Kobe Bryant: $15.9 million--a Sgt. in the Marine Corps: $22,000
Angelina Jolie: $30 million--a high school librarian: $50,300
Howard Stern: $31 million--a registered nurse: $45,000
Terry Semel (Chairman/CEO, Yahoo!): $120 million--a police detective: $45,800
Alex Rodriguez: $25 million--a caregiver: $13,000
Dan Brown (author of DaVinci Code): $76.5 million--a firefighter: $42,600
Dakota Fanning: $15 million--an ER technician: $23,000
Jennifer Aniston: $18.5 million--a school secretary: $24,000
John J. Mack (CEO, Morgan Stanley): $11.5 million--an electrician: $45,200
Sean Combs: $36 million--a respiratory therapist: $40,000
Reese Witherspoon: $30 million--a dairy farmer: $22,600
Richard Wagoner (GM chairman/CEO): $4.8 million--a lab technician: $27,000
MOST, if not all, of the people on the left side of the list don't really work for a living--at least not if you compare them to the people on the right! The people on the right are who keep this country going--they are the backbone of this nation. It is a terrible shame when someone who PLAYS A GAME or PLAYS AT MAKE BELIEVE makes more money--MUCH, MUCH more money--than someone who saves lives. We have really screwed-up priorities.
Kobe Bryant: $15.9 million--a Sgt. in the Marine Corps: $22,000
Angelina Jolie: $30 million--a high school librarian: $50,300
Howard Stern: $31 million--a registered nurse: $45,000
Terry Semel (Chairman/CEO, Yahoo!): $120 million--a police detective: $45,800
Alex Rodriguez: $25 million--a caregiver: $13,000
Dan Brown (author of DaVinci Code): $76.5 million--a firefighter: $42,600
Dakota Fanning: $15 million--an ER technician: $23,000
Jennifer Aniston: $18.5 million--a school secretary: $24,000
John J. Mack (CEO, Morgan Stanley): $11.5 million--an electrician: $45,200
Sean Combs: $36 million--a respiratory therapist: $40,000
Reese Witherspoon: $30 million--a dairy farmer: $22,600
Richard Wagoner (GM chairman/CEO): $4.8 million--a lab technician: $27,000
MOST, if not all, of the people on the left side of the list don't really work for a living--at least not if you compare them to the people on the right! The people on the right are who keep this country going--they are the backbone of this nation. It is a terrible shame when someone who PLAYS A GAME or PLAYS AT MAKE BELIEVE makes more money--MUCH, MUCH more money--than someone who saves lives. We have really screwed-up priorities.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Popstar
I have known some strange people in my life, but the young couple who lived up the street several years ago were stranger than most. Here is their story. (C, you will enjoy this.)
B and D were a young married couple who moved into the house on the corner. They got to be friendly with my friend, C, because she lived next door. I met them because of C. D was a nurse and B worked at the hospital--in radiology, I think. She was a blond ditz. She was VERY fond of herself and truly thought she was a great, world-class beauty--she often told the story about how B's boss told her (once) how beautiful she was. She was cute, but nothing to write home about.
Getting to know D, we exchanged bits and pieces of our lives. My story was quite mundane: married, two kids, stay-at-home mom, husband a former sailor. Nothing to get overly excited about. D's story, on the other hand, was quite fantastic. While HER life wasn't anything too unusual, the story she told about B was not to be believed--LITERALLY.
B wasn't yet 30 years old. In his young life, he had done quite a bit of things that probably would have made him famous enough for me to have heard of him. Actually, (and all of this is according to what D said), he had been quite famous. He, supposedly, had written and recorded a very well-known pop song and had a hit with it. (This was before MTV and videos, and his career was pretty much over by the time MTV came into being. This was why we didn't know his face.) He wrote and played with John Mellencamp, Neil Diamond, and others. He was quite good friends with Neil Diamond and Neil even called on the phone to talk to B. Of course, whenever anyone famous called, D would happen to be gone, so she never ACTUALLY talked with anyone famous--she never met any of them, either. She claimed he was in a Mellencamp video--of course, he wasn't featured, so you could pretend it MIGHT have been him. Then, one day, I happened to see a "classic" video on MTV and it was of the person D claimed to be her husband, singing one of his big hits. There was NO WAY this was the same person who lived up the street from me and I mentioned the lack of resemblance there was, to D. She had an excuse: B had been in a race car accident and had to have extensive plastic surgery to fix him up--this, and the fact that the music company sold his stage name to someone else, were the reasons the video didn't look like her husband. Okay. It was about this time that I started to distance myself from her. She began to scare me and I didn't want to be too close if she went completely off the deep end. Eventually they moved to another part of town and then left altogether. I don't know where they are today.
Now, I personally, never heard B talk about his famous friends or singing career--it was all D that talked about it. So I don't know if they shared this fantasy life or if it was only her. The thing that scares me is they had a child before they left from here--yes, they procreated. At least once. Their child(ren) will have MANY years of therapy ahead of them--God help them! (Oh, and before I forget, D's main reason for getting pregnant in the first place was because her older sister was pregnant--couldn't let the older sister please the parents more than she could!)
B and D were a young married couple who moved into the house on the corner. They got to be friendly with my friend, C, because she lived next door. I met them because of C. D was a nurse and B worked at the hospital--in radiology, I think. She was a blond ditz. She was VERY fond of herself and truly thought she was a great, world-class beauty--she often told the story about how B's boss told her (once) how beautiful she was. She was cute, but nothing to write home about.
Getting to know D, we exchanged bits and pieces of our lives. My story was quite mundane: married, two kids, stay-at-home mom, husband a former sailor. Nothing to get overly excited about. D's story, on the other hand, was quite fantastic. While HER life wasn't anything too unusual, the story she told about B was not to be believed--LITERALLY.
B wasn't yet 30 years old. In his young life, he had done quite a bit of things that probably would have made him famous enough for me to have heard of him. Actually, (and all of this is according to what D said), he had been quite famous. He, supposedly, had written and recorded a very well-known pop song and had a hit with it. (This was before MTV and videos, and his career was pretty much over by the time MTV came into being. This was why we didn't know his face.) He wrote and played with John Mellencamp, Neil Diamond, and others. He was quite good friends with Neil Diamond and Neil even called on the phone to talk to B. Of course, whenever anyone famous called, D would happen to be gone, so she never ACTUALLY talked with anyone famous--she never met any of them, either. She claimed he was in a Mellencamp video--of course, he wasn't featured, so you could pretend it MIGHT have been him. Then, one day, I happened to see a "classic" video on MTV and it was of the person D claimed to be her husband, singing one of his big hits. There was NO WAY this was the same person who lived up the street from me and I mentioned the lack of resemblance there was, to D. She had an excuse: B had been in a race car accident and had to have extensive plastic surgery to fix him up--this, and the fact that the music company sold his stage name to someone else, were the reasons the video didn't look like her husband. Okay. It was about this time that I started to distance myself from her. She began to scare me and I didn't want to be too close if she went completely off the deep end. Eventually they moved to another part of town and then left altogether. I don't know where they are today.
Now, I personally, never heard B talk about his famous friends or singing career--it was all D that talked about it. So I don't know if they shared this fantasy life or if it was only her. The thing that scares me is they had a child before they left from here--yes, they procreated. At least once. Their child(ren) will have MANY years of therapy ahead of them--God help them! (Oh, and before I forget, D's main reason for getting pregnant in the first place was because her older sister was pregnant--couldn't let the older sister please the parents more than she could!)
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